Online computer games like Second Life and World of Warcraft face cinema-style age classifications under new Government plans.
Margaret Hodge, the culture minister, said ministers want to see new rules put in place to cover children's access to games. She spoke as she published a consultation document setting out the options for a new system of age classifications.
Ah, now, your humble Devil might take all of this slightly more seriously—though, frankly, I doubt it—were it not for the involvement of Margaret Hodge.
"For children under 12 who cannot make the distinction between fantasy and reality, we need tough regulation," Mrs Hodge said. Under the current rules, the BBFC's legally-enforceable age limits only have to applied to games containing violent or sexual content.
Mrs Hodge knows all about fantasy and reality, you see, as long-time readers of Private Eye and The Kitchen will remember.
Because when Margaret Hodge was leader of Islington Council, the reality was that children in care homes under her control were being ritually and systematically raped and abused; when two care home staff blew the whistle on these activities, Mrs Hodge dismissed their concerns as fantasy.
So yes, here is a woman who can most definitely discern the difference between fantasy and reality. Whilst Mrs Hodge lives in a fantasy world, the reality is that she condemned scores of children to abuse and torture.
And then—unbelievably—she was appointed Minister for Children.
The Culture Committee of MPs this week raised fears that paedophiles are making growing use of virtual worlds for activities including simulated sex with children. Mrs Hodge told BBC Radio Four that the growing popularity of online games required new rules.
We've all seen how Mrs Hodge protects children. Let's face it: her solution to kids possibly being exposed to sex acts in a fantasy world would probably be to send paedophiles into children's homes to fuck a lesson into them in the real one.
So you'll forgive me if I ignore any protestations of probity from this woman: the only bunch of fuckers less adept at protecting children than Margaret Hodge and her cronies are the pimps of the UN.