Sunday, October 04, 2009

A drink or three

The egregious wibblings of John Cowan stirred something in the copious brains of your humble Devil; I seemed to have written about such limiting factors in drinking before.

Oh yes...
I am rather behind with this, but that is because I thought that I had better calm down first. Then, whilst having a few libations (considerably more than three) with Witchibus last night, I realised that I still haven't calmed down, so I may as well write about it anyway.
ONE of Britain’s leading surgeons has called on the government to introduce curbs on the sale of alcohol, limiting the amount that customers can consume per visit to a pub or bar.

John Smith, president of the Royal College of Surgeons of Edinburgh, believes that such restrictions would be the logical next step to improving the nation’s health following the ban on smoking in public buildings.

John? John, are you there? Can you listen to me now, please?

John, you are a sodding surgeon. You are President of a bunch of surgeons. Surgeons are here to patch people up, OK? They are not here to make politics, so why don't you take your drinking limit and shove it up your arse? And then you can FUCK OFF! The last thing that we need is interfering busybodies like you giving this bunch of fascist wankscum ideas. I bet some fucking lightbulbs went off in the Labour policy unit when you came up with that idea, John.

And, indeed, it seems that they did. In fact, the connections obviously went off in your humble Devil's head, because I then wrote the following post.
Now, obviously, there are very many pubs, so restricting people to three drinks in one would be a stupid idea; people will just decamp to another pub. However, imagine if, every time that you bought a drink, then you had to produce some kind of credit card type thing, which you would put into a machine and it would count the number of drinks that you bought in a day. If you were over your limit of three drinks, then you could not buy another. A database of that sort would not be difficult to build (the logistics of communications might be more problematic, but Switch seems to work it OK. Generally).

You could of course, get around this: a friend of yours doesn't want to go out, so you get a lend of his card which you use after your limit has run out. Unless the card was personalised in some way.

You know, like an ID Card or something...

All that was back in December 2005: obviously John Cowan has a long memory.

And he's still a cunt.


Ken (*five a day is my limit) said...

It obviously provides an explanation of where the excultation "three cheers" comes from.

When is the fightback going to start, who will be the leader. I can't wait much longer.

*well it sounds better than three, and that's a nanny state catchphrase as well.

Maybe we could role a dice, then if you get lucky you could 'hit them for six', but that wouldn't be cricket, would it!

Roue le Jour said...

Good grief, DK, you're on a roll today. Have you been saving them up? Your producing posts faster than I can type facile comments!

Call me a tinfoil hat conspiracy theorist, but not only do I think you're quite right about ID cards and drinking licenses, I would go further. What links alcohol and tobacco purchases? They're normally made by CASH. Now, if only we could get rid of that nasty anonymous folding stuff, we could really start controlling things.

john in cheshire said...

we have to kill this type of shit. they are obviously genetically defective and therefore, by their own criteria, not fit to live amongst the normal population.

please, people will you form militial who will rid us of thes vile creatures. I will contribute to the costs.

funny howthe verification words all sound ethnic.