Saturday, October 03, 2009

Cunt of the Week: John Cowan

Via Obnoxio—whose anger is, understandably, virtually palpable—I find this fucking brain fart, by some cunt called John Cowan, on LabourList (where else?).
Down in Brighton for Labour Party Conference one thing that was noticeable was the large amounts of alcohol consumed over the weekend—and not just by the conference delegates.

Most people are responsible users and are able to have a few drinks and enjoy themselves without causing damage to either others or the local environment.

Yes, that's true, John; that's absolutely true. But why do I think that there is going to be a "but" on its way...? Oh yes, because you're a fucking socialist.
However, not all drinkers and users of other substances are able to handle their use of booze in such a responsible manner. At weekends, most A&E departments house those suffering from alcohol poisoning, assaults and drink related accidents. It takes much needed resources from the NHS which could be used for other purposes.

Um, yes... And? These people have all paid their NICs and, as far as they are concerned, it is their "right" to use and abuse the health service.

If you made people pay money to insurance companies instead, they would be discouraged from getting into such states because their health premiums would go up. Do you see, John?

Unfortunately, I don't think that you are going to advocate that only those who actually cost the system money should pay extra, are you?
Prohibition of alcohol, like any other drug, does not work. It was tried in the 1920s in the US and resulted in making the likes of Al Capone rich men.

Note that John does not stress the point that it is none of his fucking business what I put in my body as long as I do not infringe on the rights of others...

But now, brace yourself, dear readers, for one of the most stupid and illiberal ideas ever floated—even by a Labour politician...
One possible solution could be an entitlement card that people would carry and swipe when every time they buy Alcohol or Tobacco and record their usage. Is that too radical? I don't think so. For a long time the Government have controlled motorists with a system of licences where people enjoy the right and freedom to drive—as long as they conform to certain rules.

Oh, this is going to be a fucking doozy, isn't it?

Yes, motorists have to carry a licence and the reason for that is that not knowing how to drive a couple of tons of metal at 60 miles per hour will cause some harm to other people.

It is not supposed to be a method whereby "the Government have controlled motorists", but about sensible precautions to stop innocent people being damaged.
With the card, people who got into trouble for, say, minor crimes or drunk and disorderly conduct in public would receive a fixed penalty notice and 3 points on their entitlement card with points disappearing over time for in the same way works on driving licences.

More serious offences would result in endorsements on the entitlement card and the cardholder would not be able to purchase alcohol, tobacco or other drugs available for sale through the entitlement card scheme.

You stupid, illiberal fuckwit—where the hell do I start with this particular piece of shit? This idea is so unpleasant that I am surprised that even you had the gall to suggest it.

First, drinking to excess is not a fucking crime and nor should it be. I have spent the last fifteen years drinking to excess—frequently—and I have never cost the NHS a fucking penny. Nor have I beaten anyone up or vomited in the street.

Second, this is a gross invasion of personal privacy.

Third, it would be hugely expensive and wouldn't work. Are you going to have scanners in every fucking shop that sells booze? Seriously?

Fourth, this is a gross invasion of personal privacy.

Fifth, we have a whole range of laws to control people's behaviour when drunk, such as drunk and disorderly, etc. Why don't you try advocating the enforcement of the laws that we already have, you fucknuts?

Sixth, this really is a massive invasion of personal privacy.

Seventh, what the fucking fuck are you on?

So who the hell is this John Cowan anyway? To propose such a fucking wank idea he must be some loose-cannon maverick, right? Wrong.
John Cowan is Labour's Parliamentary candidate in South East Cambridgeshire. John is also a member of the Labour East Regional Board and a Local Councillor. He has worked for seven years as Chief Executive of a Sports Marketing Company, dealing with racing drivers and teams at all levels of motorsport up to and including Formula 1. He has passion for innovative engineering solutions and very strong commitment to the UK's ecomonic development as a World Leader in modern manufacturing. John is a trustee of the charity Norfolk Rural Community Council.

Yep, this turd is part of the Labour establishment: this is the true face of the Labour Party—kneejerk authoritarianism and disgusting disregard for personal freedom.

Luckily, the good people of Cambridgeshire seem to regard him as a bit of a cunt too.
Conservative Party candidate Eloise Ellis of 26 Sycamore Way, Diss, has been elected to serve the Diss Ward, in a by-election which took place on Friday 27th June 2008.

The turnout was 33.4%.

The votes cast for each candidate were as follows:

John Cowan (Labour Party) 63 votes (3.4%)

Eloise Ellis (Conservative) 1041 votes (55.6%)

Trevor Wenman (Liberal Democrat Party) 768 votes (41%)

Total: 1880 votes (100%)

Just to put that in perspective, when LPUK stood in our first ever council election—with no massive Labour Party-style money or machine behind our candidate—we got more than double that score. That's how shit John Cowan is.

And articles like this one underline just why the man got so few votes: it's because he is a stinking fascist shitbag and I hope that he drowns—in a bizarre prune-related accident—in a bucket of his own shit.

16 comments:

Tyburn Jig said...

My fucking head just exploded - again.

Anonymous said...

it's because he is a stinking fascist shitbag and I hope that he drowns—in a bizarre prune-related accident—in a bucket of his own shit.

Will you fucking stop it !! I've hurt myself laughing at that.

Jiks said...

Maybe we should introduce a "Twat Licence".

I mean many of us manage to be a twat on occasion without harming others but some take it excess.

If someone, say a failed labour candidate or prime minister, gained a certain number points the authorities could take away their Air Licence, quite possibly via a septic tank or industrial blending machine. Or prunes as you say...

Old Holborn said...

When I broke this story a few days ago, (cough) my main interest was that someone who managed to get 63 votes as a Labour candidate should be able to even get a ticket and invite to the Labour Party conference in Brighton AND be able to write such shite for Labourlist.

What next? I shudder to think.

Anonymous said...

"What next? I shudder to think."

A food entitlement card: if you're too fat you get points on your food licence and if you are still too fat and get too many points, you will be starved to death.

That will serve those obese bastard burdens on the NHS right...

Northampton Saint said...

These socialist gits still don't get it... they scream against fascism, and then become the biggest fascists going

Frank Davis said...

Well at least it sounds like Labour delegates were knocking the stuff back. So they can't all be puritans.

So one bit of good news has come out of the Labour party conference.

DocBud said...

Puritans never are puritans in their own lives, it's just other people's lives they like to control. They're terrified others might be having a better time than they are so best stop them having any fun.

It's all so brilliantly summed up in IanB's Progressive Commandments, one could almost imagine John Cowan writing them and asking "Are these too radical? I don't think so."

http://www.countingcats.com/?p=3878

stevie said...

Why are all lefties such fucking cunts?

DocBud said...

Basically, Stevie. They start off wanting to make the world a better place. Fortunately for us, they have been blessed with a unique insight as to how to bring this about. And then they discover that the great ignorant and unwashed aren't in the least bit grateful, quite the opposite, they continue to live unfulfilling lives when the path to true happiness has been shown to them. Well, if the bastards won't choose to be happy, then they bloody well better be made to be happy.

It's a fascinating race, do they make us brain-dead, happy morons in a socialist paradise or do we string them up before they can.

Mitch said...

"For a long time the Government have controlled motorists "

That fukin word again!! CONTROL did he go to cunt school or was he just born that way?

Max the Impaler said...

Bastard deserves slotting.

AndrewSouthLondon said...

"At weekends, most A&E departments house those suffering from alcohol poisoning, assaults and drink related accidents...."

That is because the police, who used to operate cells in which drunks picked up could be left to sleep it off, now take them to A&E and dump them on the NHS.

How the police operate to save themselves time and money, so NHS staff get assaulted by pissheads.

Its called "joined up government", or "shit on your neighbour"

Vicola said...

A licence? To tell the barman how many drinks the government have decided I am allowed in any one day? Are they completely fucking mad? What the hell is going on in this man's head? Sometimes I despair.

The Nameless Libertarian said...

All this does is make me want to binge drink more. And find cunts like these and piss alcoholic urine through their letter boxes.

Anonymous said...

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/21/20091004/thl-most-unaware-of-hidden-salt-danger-d831572.html

"Most unaware of hidden salt danger

"Three quarters of Britons are unaware everyday staples such as bread and cereals are among the highest salt-contributing foods in our diet, a new study has found."

A salt licence anyone?