This just in from the Beeb:
Unhealthy men 'may lose 10 years'
Middle-aged men who smoke, have high blood pressure and raised cholesterol levels face dying about 10 years before healthier counterparts, a study warns.
Dr Robert Clarke, of the Clinical Trial Service Unit at the University led the study.
He said: "'We've shown that men at age 50 who smoke, have high blood pressure and high cholesterol levels can expect to survive to 74 years of age, while those who have none of these risk factors can expect to live until 83."
Fuck me, but is this really what it all comes down to? The endless public health scare stories. The fascist smoking legislation. The rapacious tax rises. The fake charities. The obesity 'epidemic'. Ian bastard Gilmore. It all comes down to the risk of dying at the age of 74? And I can eat what I want and smoke tabs as well?
This is the least scary scare story I've ever seen, and I've seen Troll 2.
Doctors, if you're reading this: 74 years is more than enough time for me to do all the things I plan to do in this life. I'll leave all that senility, dribbling and pissing myself to someone else, if it's all the same to you.
Risk very much accepted, now fuck off and leave me alone. Don't worry about those taxes I've been paying. To be honest, I never expected to see that money again anyway. Use it to buy a catheter for an 83 year old nonsmoking vegetarian. I'm off out.