Friday, September 18, 2009

Splendid news

(nb. I am not the Devil's Kitchen)

This just in from the Beeb:
Unhealthy men 'may lose 10 years'

Middle-aged men who smoke, have high blood pressure and raised cholesterol levels face dying about 10 years before healthier counterparts, a study warns.

Dr Robert Clarke, of the Clinical Trial Service Unit at the University led the study.

He said: "'We've shown that men at age 50 who smoke, have high blood pressure and high cholesterol levels can expect to survive to 74 years of age, while those who have none of these risk factors can expect to live until 83."

Fuck me, but is this really what it all comes down to? The endless public health scare stories. The fascist smoking legislation. The rapacious tax rises. The fake charities. The obesity 'epidemic'. Ian bastard Gilmore. It all comes down to the risk of dying at the age of 74? And I can eat what I want and smoke tabs as well? 

This is the least scary scare story I've ever seen, and I've seen Troll 2

Doctors, if you're reading this:  74 years is more than enough time for me to do all the things I plan to do in this life. I'll leave all that senility, dribbling and pissing myself to someone else, if it's all the same to you. 

Risk very much accepted, now fuck off and leave me alone. Don't worry about those taxes I've been paying. To be honest, I never expected to see that money again anyway. Use it to buy a catheter for an 83 year old nonsmoking vegetarian. I'm off out.  


Anonymous said...

I bet you are nowhere near 70+ that is why you are so brave.
And don't think dying involves cluching at the chest , a few brave words and then goodbye.
It can be long , painful and lonely.
I am 74 plus and happily spending the taxpayer's money.

FS said...

I'm sure you are, mate. I imagine you're just one of the thousands of people over the age of 74 who read The Devil's Kitchen at 2.40 in the morning and post anonymously. Fuck off.

Pavlov's Cat said...

People over 70 reading blogs? What?

More seriously, 75 has been the bog-standard 1st world life expectancy for decades anyway, especially back in the magical 50's the Daily Wail longs after, and it's only been pushed up to 83 with modern medical science. They might as well have said being unhealthy has absolutely no fucking effect whatsoever:

Life expectancy: 77 years (men), 82 years (women) (UN)


DaveA said...

Can I ask what the figures are for smokers who have low blood pressure and low cholesterol?

What are the figures for non smokers who have high blood pressure and high cholesterol?

Now we can debate it.


They take one unique set of circumstances,from one life,and extrapolate all of its vagueries across every-one elses,the problem is thier pretense that they know exactly what is going to happen in any given circumstances,information which is only within the ken of the great harmony,if the quacks are so clever why are there deseases at all,why did they iradicate so many lethal illnessess,and then re-introduce them by allowing the third world to share them with us ,because to screen the parasites would be racist.The answer is that like most things ,they are groping in the dark,flattered by the conceit of thier own intellect.

Pavlov's Cat said...

Groping in the dark.. isn't everyone?

Henry Crun said...
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Henry Crun said...
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Anonymous said...

Yes. I'm a smoker. I'm definitely on the wrong side of 50. I jog, have low cholesterol, normal blood pressure and am not fat and not thin.

What are my chances???

dining room furniture said...

74 is pretty old but I don't want to die with all those pain, ache and hurt! Live healthy!

Dominic Allkins said...

The FS shakes me out of my blogging lethargy - thank you.

Commented about this post on my blog.

And my previous post on the subject looked at how much the government (of the day) benefits from us popping our clogs early. Don't be surprised that it's a huge sum of money.

Anonymous said...

The real problem is mortality itself.
You could listen to the propaganda and not follow your own mind.
For example ,healthy eating ,exercise,no booze,no fags,no reefers,no fun,no sex,
then step out of the door one morning and have your head explode when struck by a stray meteorite?
Its luck and nothing else ,even the "GODS" are subject to the whims of the "FATES".

John B said...

The survival bit isn't too relevant. The important question is, how do they fare between the ages of 60ish and 75? Being fine for 15 years and then dying at 75 is OK, but being immobile and half-dead at 65 isn't...

Anonymous said...

Anonymous 11.10what the fuck are you on because I would like to get some. Struck by a stray metiorite;gods;fate?

More likely to get attention is smoke and die at 74 or don't smoke and don't die. Now thats a fuck site better as a come-on isn't it?

My uncle is 92, blind deaf, incontinent walks around with i zimmer it's not fucking worth it

Captain Ranty said...

Slendid post FS.

I'll take quality over quantity anytime.

I assume all non-smokers just gently fall asleep, never to awaken again? No pain, no screaming, no drama. Like a light switch, is it, but only for them?

I know hundreds of smokers, all seem to be doing fine. Every single one of my non-smoking colleagues at work have taken time off in the last year. Every one of them. Me? Not even 30 minutes of illness. Nothing. Not even a cold. I have had no time off work due to illness in over 11 years. The "healthy" can just fuck right off.

Even so, as the ugly fucker in Highlander said, "It's better to burn out than to fade away...".


Ian said...

Don't we have a problem with an aging population?

Well fuck me. We spend billions telling people to stop doing things that'll kill them early, and then we spend billions keeping them alive long after their bodies have decided enough is enough.

If you want to cut costs in the NHS, stop telling people about how they're going to die if they smoke and drink.

If government would leave people alone to do as they wished, so many of our problems would be sorted.

Rob said...

They'll die at 74 happier than the lemon suckers though.

James Higham said...

Hmmmm, Filthy Smoker, your writing style is very Reactionary Snobbish. I'll have to think about this.

J. Wibble said...

My dad smoked and drank almost impressive amounts for 55 years, was diagnosed with lung cancer at the age of 70 after being ill for about 3 months, and died a week later in a deep sedated coma on G-d-knows how much morphine. He couldn't have died much more quickly and peacefully had they shot him in the head in his sleep.

His sister never smoked, was teetotal, ate salad and exercised and all that jazz, and died at 75 having spent 10 years completely incoherent, incontinent and eventually unable to even sit up in her wheelchair due to diabetes and dementia.

I know which way I'd prefer.

S Brown said...

My mother gave up smoking in her forties (after a bout of pneumonia). In her fifties she was diagnosed with progressive supranuclear palsy (the thing that killed Dudley Moore) and she died in her mid-sixties.

Still, at least she'd given up smoking, huh?

I smoke about 20 a day and really really REALLY enjoy each and every one of 'em! :-D

Who the hell wants to live to advanced old age anyway?!

DrMarty said...

Fuck this!
Would you please stop blaming all those with a medical degree for all this DoH/BMA/RCGP shite.
Most of us think it's as much bollocks as you do.
On a more serious note,life expectancy has gone up much more than 'Quality' years so you'll get fuck all argument from me on this.
Currently on my 2nd bottle of red after steak and dauphinoisse.
Pip pip!

FS said...

Dr Marty,
That's the spirit. Now, if you and your colleagues could express those feelings to your representatives at the BMA and the RCP, we might get somewhere. I have never met a doctor who doesn't agree with you, so how is it you're being represented by total cunts?

Like it or not, these people are the public voice of your profession. Until you do something about the people at the top, the media will continue to start their stories with the words 'Doctors say...'. And so will I, if only because it might just annoy you into speaking out.

DrMarty said...

Not a mason,didn't go to a public school.
Nowt I can do and I and most doctors I know hate them more than you

DrMarty said...

Sorry,also I'm not a member of the BMA or RCGP.Showers of cunts.

Antipholus Papps said...

My sister is something of a health nut, and once came out with this absolute beauty:

"I want to be healthy when I die!" she said.

I had to tell her that it doesn't quite work like that.

Rob said...

"how is it you're being represented by total cunts?"

Power attracts the worst people. If you create an institution which has power over millions of people, those who have the greatest desire for power will gravitate towards it and advance within it.

Birxy said...

Shit. Given my lack of pension I was kind of banking on a massive stroke whilst shagging my 26 year old mistress on my 55th birthday... Better start saving I guess.

Rob Farrington said...

"Hmmmm, Filthy Smoker, your writing style is very Reactionary Snobbish. I'll have to think about this.".

I miss the Snob, especially as he deleted his blog at some point during the last few months!

I know someone who was a vegetarian, jogged every day, didn't smoke at all (you saw that one coming, didn't you?), and was heavily into yoga. Unfortunately, he had to drop the yoga and the jogging, as he suffered from a stroke in his mid forties and has been confined to a wheelchair for the past ten years.

Makes you think, doesn't it? Try to live 'healthily' by all means, if that's the lifestyle you enjoy (and I actually do yoga exercises to strengthen my dodgy knee...but I usually have a ciggy afterwards!), but if you're of the mind 'I'm healthier than you are because I eat organic carrots every day, and so I'm probably going to live to be 120...nah, nah nah nah naah!', then you might be in for a nasty shock somewhere along the line.

"Eat and drink, for tomorrow we shall die" - in that case mine's a kebab and a pint of strongbow, thanks. Oh, and a pack of Marlboro.

Burbage said...

This will be the same BBC who published the revelation last year that men, on average, die at 71.2? (Or about a year and a quarter past what Lord Turner thinks should be the pension age)

71.2, incidentally, was calculated from real deaths, rather than projections from the government actuaries, which seem to be used in this study. At the age of 71.2, the actuaries reckon you've got 13-odd years left. Statisticians will point out that the extra time allotted only applies to the healthy half (who aren't dead yet), so you'd expect them to do better. But, in practical terms, a 50:50 chance of being dead isn't much of a reward for a lifetime of self-denial.

Nor, for that matter, is a year-and-a-quarter's pension much reward for 50 years of NI stamps.

Anonymous said...

I firmly believe that you come into the world date stamped and that's when you are going out no matter how you live your life. Everyone can numerous examples of heavy smokers who are fine and live a long life and those who lead a 'healthy' life and die young, just your luck. I have smoked for fifty years and, so far, am fine. Not that I would advise anyone to start, but I enjoy a cigarette and am not going to stop now. In fact quite a few people I know who stopped after many years promptly took ill with something and died so who knows, maybe for some people they are so used to nicotine stopping is dangerous after a very long time.

hesspartacus said...

May I crave your indulgence for a moment, oh Prince of Darkness?

Tweet #votenoireland.

Pacto Olisipiensis Censenda Est.

That is all.

Junican said...

Again and again, it comes down to free, grown-up people doing what they want - and that includes assembling in smoking pubs, staffed by adults who want to work there.

The emphasis is on adults.

There is no need for the state to tell adults that they need to be protected. Adults can decide for themselves.

Anonymous said...

Christ! Look at Don Shenker's face?!