Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Ten Commandments

Politics.co.uk is reporting that Parliament-oriented Twitter-aggregator Tweetminster has selected Ten Commandments for politicians, as voted for by other Twitterers.
MPs and prospective parliamentary candidates are to be handed the ten political commandments, voted for by the Twittering public, which should govern their political lives in Westminster.

Political site Tweetminster received hundreds of suggestions by Twitter when it asked members of the public to propose what they believed should be included in the ten.

After being narrowed down to a shortlist of 20, over 1,500 voters chose their favourites, which have been named the ten commandments for an MP.

The Ten Commandments are:
  1. Thou shalt never forget that politics is about improving lives. Other people's, not your own

  2. Be honest with the voters

  3. MPs shall treat constituents, stakeholders and staff as they themselves would wish to be treated—with genuine respect and good manners

  4. Thou shalt hold the executive to account, regardless of party affiliation, On behalf of the people of the United Kingdom

  5. An MP should not give publicly-funded jobs to family or household members. Recruit openly instead, and advertise locally

  6. Thou shalt not enter the political arena for personal gain

  7. Thou shalt not outsource your judgement, independence or opinions to the chief whip

  8. Thou shalt be able to demonstrate independence of mind

  9. Do what you promised to do in your manifesto

  10. MPs & PPCs should be transparent, open & engaging, and take advantage of all available channels

Actually, all of these could be summed up in one easy commandment:
  1. Thou shalt not be a pig-ignorant, venal, patronising, corrupt, money-grubbing, lying, incompetent, lazy, fat-arsed, authoritarian shyster, exclusively out for thine own interest.

It's easy when you know how...

14 comments:

Pavlov's Cat said...

I got beef with this on two levels - One because it's based on the "Ten Commandments" archetype with all the dogmatic weightyness associated with the phrase, which is fucking perfect in a secular state, and what's wrong with good ol' ballot boxes, if they were even remotely serious about giving anyone a say in anything?

In retrospect, it's a bloody well chosen phrase for them. The term "commandment" is taken to mean something handed down from on high that's optional to follow, something that's generally pretty good to do, but if you don't, that's a bit naughty, but noone really minds. It's perfect for trivialising the issue, and makes MP's burning through taxpayers cash and being general scumbags appear more like naughty children who get a bit bored at sunday school than the fully responsible adults who simply Should Not Be Pulling The Shit They Are Trying To Pull. ;Breathe;

If they'd used the actaul word "rules" instead of "commandments", it would lay across the meaning that the voter is not to be fucked with, and is worthy of respect by virtue of having a goddamn vote, instead of painting the electorate into the same corner as that god guy, who's existence is dubious.

This seems to be the parliamentry equivelent of "Oh, that's nice, but, it's just an internet poll, and everyone knows they don't mean anything, see?"

Pavlov's Cat, Over and Out

Edgar said...

Politicians are noted for being slippery, slimy, squeezy, and greasy; so how would that apply, let's see.

I'm a politician. I occasionally discuss matters with some large corporation, say Rothschilds Bank, for the sake of argument, but I don't let it influence my activities in the house (very much).

I know that is corrupt. I also know that I'm expected NOT to be:

" a pig-ignorant, venal, patronising, corrupt, money-grubbing, lying, incompetent, lazy, fat-arsed, authoritarian shyster, exclusively out for [my] own interest."

But I'm not exclusively out for my own interest, you see. rothschilds get some benefit, too. Therefore, I am doing everything within the rules, and you moaning fucking losers can fuck the fuck off. OK?

The Liberty Lover said...

DK you forgot nihilstic, totalitarian sociopaths.

the a&e charge nurse said...

The most important rule for politicians is that part of their job should be to provide the service they expect others to do - so, for example, the minister for defence should spend a few months on the front line in Afghanistan, the minister for education should spend a few months teaching in one of our inner city hell holes, and the minister for health should spend a few months working on a geriatric ward, etc, etc.

Its the easiest thing in the world to issue diktats when YOU have no personal responsibility for delivering them.
If a couple of Blair's kids where killed in Iraq (say) we'd never hear the last of it.

Letters From A Tory said...

"5.An MP should not give publicly-funded jobs to family or household members. Recruit openly instead, and advertise locally"

Dumb dumb and more dumb. It's illegal to ban the recruitment of family members so we're stuck with it, unless of course we want to start a legal fight with the Government and let them burn our taxes paying for the most expensive lawyers in the country - only to be proved wrong anyway.

Richard Allen said...

What a load of crap. Anyone that needs to given a list of commandments is unfit to be an MP. Any decent MP would be insulted by being given such a list.

microdave said...

"Any decent MP would be insulted by being given such a list."

There won't be much insulting then!

What is so wrong with having a "Job Description"? Millions of the rest of us do.

I've seen some billboards advertising a university - one featured a researcher who now works in "Englands Greatest House". Perhaps it is time the residents started behaving accordingly....

Mac the Knife said...

"Thou shalt not be a pig-ignorant, venal, patronising, corrupt, money-grubbing, lying, incompetent, lazy, fat-arsed, authoritarian shyster, exclusively out for thine own interest."

You forgot 'cuntpuppet'. Are you going soft on us laddie?

Rob said...

Pavlov's Cat:

"If they'd used the actaul word "rules" instead of "commandments", it would lay across the meaning that the voter is not to be fucked wit"

We had rules before. Everything was "within the rules". 'Rules' don't seem to carry much weight with these bastards.

I'd favour Laws, the ones we all live by, and the ones MPs should also live by. Laws against Fraud, deception, theft.

James Higham said...

So let's rate them, one by one, against that standard.

Pavlov's Cat said...

Agreed, Rob. Laws is definitely the needed word, and the needed action aswell.

Now, to Tweet the Twatminister with this shiny new suggestion to have "Laws" apply to MP's..

Anonymous said...

Governmen policy "IS" based on bribes, jobs for the relatives,career enhancement,
Oh and of course, "VAMPIRISM".
garlic and sharp sticks are required here.
Just stick to running the country and get the fuck out of our lives you VD ridden tosspots.
e.g that fat porky pig prescott tossing on about there next bloody scam ,"global warming",on Pravda (BBC),or in laymans terms, scaring the shit out of dummies.
How on earth do those lying scumbags get away with it.
Oh of course they create a situation where there are enough dummies to feed them and believe me there all fat enough.
Vamoires yes,human .
NO

JonnyN said...

Commandment number 9:
Do what you promised to do in your manifesto

Given that voters stubbornly refuse to vote for anyone who offers anything realistic this might be a wee bit too much.

Sabina said...

Devil, you truly have the gift. I wish I could swear like you!