... although I wish to god that Ed Balls did, the winky-eyed cunt. Have you seen the nictating bastard's latest intrusive scheme?*
The Children’s Secretary set out £400million plans to put 20,000 problem families under 24-hour CCTV super-vision in their own homes.
They will be monitored to ensure that children attend school, go to bed on time and eat proper meals.
Private security guards will also be sent round to carry out home checks, while parents will be given help to combat drug and alcohol addiction.
Around 2,000 families have gone through these Family Intervention Projects so far.
But ministers want to target 20,000 more in the next two years, with each costing between £5,000 and £20,000—a potential total bill of £400million.
You know what? Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to send these fuckers a copy of 1984 each—although we did inscribe, in big fucking letters, this is not an instruction manual.
Still, you have to hand it to Blinky Balls—he's responding to a very real problem. Oh, wait...
Ministers hope the move will reduce the number of youngsters who get drawn into crime because of their chaotic family lives, as portrayed in Channel 4 comedy drama Shameless.
Yes, because real life is just exactly like "comedy drama Shameless" and, given that, putting people under permanent CCTV surveillance in their own homes is absolutely the most proportionate response, isn't it?
No, it isn't! What the fuck is going on?
Sin bin projects operate in half of council areas already but Mr Balls wants every local authority to fund them.
He said: “This is pretty tough and non-negotiable support for families to get to the root of the problem. There should be Family Intervention Projects in every local authority area because every area has families that need support.”
Putting people under 24 hour surveillance isn't "support", you wonky-eyed cunt—it's fucking totalitarian.
Pupils and their families will have to sign behaviour contracts known as Home School Agreements before the start of every year, which will set out parents’ duties to ensure children behave and do their homework.
Or what? What will happen to them, precisely, Ed? You'll spy on them all day?
Yeah, you'd like that, wouldn't you? I bet that's what you do all day, isn't it? I can imagine you, Ed, your eyes bulging (even more) at the screen as you watch that dirty, dirty, dirty slapper Ms Smith showering lasciviously in front of you—you rubbing your cock through your pockets (because to touch the flesh would be a sin) whilst Ms Smith is rubbing her ample and dirty, dirty, dirty devil's dumplings with the soap. Grrrrrr, get an eyeful of that, eh, Ed...?
Bugger off, you authoritarian little shit: seriously, fuck right off and go dogging or something...
UPDATE: as John B points out in the comments, it seems that my caveat* was justified and the whole CCTV in their own homes thing seems to be a total fabrication by The Express. This should not be taken as any kind of confirmation, or otherwise, as to whether or not Ed Balls gets off on watching women having a poo.
* OK, this is The Express, but I'm going to take it at face value for now.