Monday, June 01, 2009

No, I should do it...

The dribbling, one-eyed Prime Mentalist has been defending his continuing refusal to just fuck the fuck off and put us all out of his misery. Apparently—surprise, surprise!—he's the best man for the job.
He told BBC Radio 4's Today he was not "arrogant" or "unwilling to listen" but would "stay on to do the job" before calling a general election.

"I'm the best person to clean up the political system," he added.

Mr Brown said: "I think the cleaning up of the political system is best done by someone who has got a clear idea of what needs to be done - and I have."

Really?

This coming from a man who maintained that...
"To be honest, what I've seen offends my Presbyterian conscience."

... and yet who happily spent £6,500 per annum of our money on a cleaner. Very Presbyterian...

But, I tell you what—your humble Devil has a pretty fucking clear idea of what to do to clean up this mess. It involves storming the Motherfucker of All Parliaments and dragging the criminal MPs out into the street, kicking seven shades of shit out of them, and then hanging them from the nearest lamp-post.

This will be the last time, incidentally, that MPs would be treated differently to anyone else under the law.

Now, I think that's a pretty clear solution—rather clearer than Brown's, in fact. So, given that Cyclopean fuckwit's criteria for cleaning up the sty, I think that I am the best man for the job.

Besides, can you imagine the headlines...?
Parliament so depraved and disgusting that the Devil is recruited to clean up!

... or...
Only the Devil can save our democracy!

I think that those would add to the gaiety of the nation. And, for fuck's sake, I would do a lot better than the Gobblin' King, at any rate...

20 comments:

Dungeekin said...

He waited so very long for the Prize...

There's no way - no way - that Gollum Brown will ever release his death-grip on the levers of power.

D

Chris said...

"The Devil himself stands aghast at the excesses of the Rotten Parliament."

How very 17th century.

Anonymous said...

Broon may notionally claim to be a Presbyterian but, in every way that matters, he abandoned that identity a long time ago when get got into bed with Scotland's militant Irish Catholic community.

Nowadays, Broon has more in common with Mick Martin and the Labour's corrupt Glasgow Catholic mafia than with the Conservative-leaning Presbyterians.

Plato said...

I look forward to it Mr Kitchen!

Shaun said...

But in the country of the blind, the one-eyed man is King! Who else could we trust to grope their way out of this mess?

Anonymous said...

The only way hanging is not far to decent a finish for these scum is if the rope is way too short... Leave 'em dangling for a while before they shuffle off this mortal coil.
Z.

Fuckwit O'Tampax said...

You are right. These cunts will not sort it out themselves. Left to their own devices they will turn this country into a gulag after the next election.

There will be a raft of repressive laws passed in the first month of a new Parliament, every one of them designed to stop us finding out what they are doing in future and supressing our liberties even further. Just imagine the cunts with a clear 5 years of law making ahead of them and a massive grudge to spur them on. They need a good fucking over now.

Bodderick said...

Never have I hated a person more in my life than he; the vile, bogey chewing, cycloptic, creature from the bog. As much as I despise Socialists of any flavour, I cannot reserve enough hatred for It. The mere thought of its face on the TV is enough to make me wretch. How on earth has our country stooped so low as to have it as the leader. What on earth has led us to this state of affairs?

The Nameless Libertarian said...

Go for it. What's the worst that can happen?

The Grim Reaper said...

Gordon will still be telling us even when he's dead that he won't resign. The day after his funeral, he'll probably pop up and remind us that he's "getting on with the job".

The cunt.

assegai mike said...

He's like the limbless knight in Monty Python's Holy Grail.

Cleanthes said...

"To be honest, what I've seen offends my Presbyterian conscience."

WTF????

You've not only be seeing it for the last x years, you've actually be doing it yourself you useless twonk.

Good God he needs a slap.

Sabina said...

Well, Devil?
What are you waiting for?
Get to it!

Henry North London said...

Mine was a trained Presbyterian conscience and knew but the one duty--to hunt and harry its slave upon all pretexts and on all occasions, particularly when there was no sense nor reason in it.
- Autobiography of Mark Twain

Anonymous said...

I'm surprised nobody made more of this - from the BBC website report of the interview - sums up the whole problem really, thinking of rights as something he gives to us:

"I think we also need to give citizens more rights, so that they can hold people to account and so they feel their interests are better served by the political system," Mr Brown added.

Vicola said...

He's the fucking PM, so surely he knew about what was happening? If he didn't then he has no place being in charge because to miss something so utterly blatant makes him a complete fucktard. If he did then he STILL has no place being in charge because despite his offended Presbyterian conscience, he still let the venal bastards bleed the taxpayer dry. I like your solution and will certainly vote for you to be given the job of sorting things out as long as you promise one thing - you text me a photo of that poisonous little ginger witch Blears dangling from her lamp-post. She's so fucking teflon coated that I won't believe she's been done for till I see it with my own eyes.

Francis said...

Of course there's no hope that MPs will agree to this, but here is my suggestion of how to pay them so that they have their incentives correclty aligned.

Kevin Boatang said...

There is no way he will release the chains of power. even the reshuffle on Friday has nothing to do with sorting out a talentless bunch of fuckwits, it's all about stopping the benches tapping up potential sharp shooters.

He is getting repeatedly nailed though, even that cock midget Ben Shepherd did him 'Why is Hazel Blears' actions totally unacceptable, but she is still there?'

All this really shows, his statement, is that once again he simply cannot trust the people. Only he can clean this up because he knows best. The people cannot possibly be trusted to hold their MP to account in an election.

Borderpoint said...

Gorrrrrrrrrdon Brrrrrrrrrroon thinks with his gut: that's because his brains are in his arse.

Anonymous said...

Why the fuck is he the only person in Britain that has any choice on how to deal with this shit? Forget his bloody Presbyterian conscience, I think the bugger may genuinely believe himself to be the Second Coming. Following his reign as Pickpocket in Chief, I am now a Libertarian. It'll take a medicine stronger than a Tory government would be willing to provide to clean up after this shit storm caused by half-wits.