Death by a thousand cuts

Your humble Devil is immensely grateful to the peripatetic Greek boy for his elegant write-up of the current woes of the New Labour government. Truly, it is a dead government walking.

On Sunday, the full devastation wreaked on Labour's MEPs was revealed: Labour, on 15.7% of the vote, came third to the Tories (27.7%) and UKIP (16.5%). Although, it wasn't all good, as two shits from the far-Left BNP will also be wending their way to Brussels (although, come to think of it, a bunch of fascists should feel right at home in the EU).

And, let's face it, the voters delivered a colossal fucking kicking to Labour in the local elections too, with Brown's collection of fuckwits even being beaten into fourth place by the Monster Raving Loony Party in St. Ives, Cambridgeshire.

How humiliating. And wonderful!

And finally, of course, how could one forget the spate of resignations—all of those NuLabour rats, deserting Gordon Brown's sinking ship? First went the fat-titted bitch*, then the mad chipmunk**, James "the spitting image of my gay friend Sam" Purnell, Beverley Hughes (not over a visa scam this time), Tom "pig" Watson (one of Gordo's original hatchet-men), John "Gordo would make be a 'fucking disaster' as PM" Hutton, Geoff "thieving shitbag" Hoon, Margaret "horse-face" Beckett***, Tony "you pay for my parents" McNulty, Jane Kennedy. And how could we forget the flouncy temper-tantrum of Caroline "gobby fishwife" Flint?

NuLabour and Gordon Brown are dying—but not quickly enough. The whole edifice is being shot to shit, and yet still the Gobblin' King is clutching on, with bitten-down fingernails, until the thirteenth hour.

But seriously, how long can he carry on being humiliated day after day? Were he not fucking up the country more with every passing minute, I would wish for this slow beating to carry on as long as possible. Perhaps we could put him in a zoo, where he could harmlessly pass the time picking out and eat his own fleas, or wanking furiously at disgusted passers-by?

But no: this fucking cock-weasel has got to go, and go soon: the only one who doesn't seem to realise that he is finished is old Cyclops himself.

With the BNP taking Labour votes, and his government resigning in swathes all around him, for the Prime Mentalist it's not so much death by a thousand cuts as death by a thousand cunts...

* Your humble Devil has attacked Jacqui "authoritarian shit" Smith a number of times.

** Hazel Blears is another DK favourite for a punching.

*** Here's a traditional DK kicking of the Gorgon-like Beckett.