Sunday, April 12, 2009

Would you like some state slavery, or some state slavery?

Posted by Devil's Kitchen at 4/12/2009 04:05:00 pm

Via the LPUK blog, it seems that the Prime Mentalist has found a solution to the fact that the state just doesn't have the money to keep people in compulsory education until they are 18: don't actually educate them (no fucking change there, eh?), but make them indentured slaves instead.
Gordon Brown has vowed to make every young person do 50 hours of voluntary work by the time they reach the age of 19.

What. The. Fuck? How can this arsehole possibly juxtapose the words "make" and "voluntary"? Oh, I forgot: it's NuLabour...
The Prime Minister said a pledge to introduce compulsory community service would be included in Labour's next general election manifesto.

Under the scheme, the work - which could include helping out charities in the UK and abroad - is likely to become part of the National Curriculum. It would be integrated into moves to make everyone stay in education or training until the age of 18 by 2011.

Writing in the News of the World, Mr Brown insisted: "It is my ambition to create a Britain in which there is a clear expectation that all young people will undertake some service to their community, and where community service will become a normal part of growing up in Britain.

"And, by doing so, the contributions of each of us will build a better society for all of us."

You fucking what? You disgusting, totalitarian fucking moron—this is fucking slavery, you one-eyed Scots cunt! How fucking dare you?
He went on: "That would mean young people being expected to contribute at least 50 hours of community service by the time they have reached the age of 19.

Yeah, because the best way to get people to come together as a community is to ensure that a proportion of them are indentured slaves, isn't it? You stupid cunt.

The Prime Mentalist has, actually, gone absolutely fucking insane. On what planet, you lackwit fuckwit, does "a better society for all of us" include state slavery?

Fucking hell, why won't these cunts die?

That article, unusually, does not include any comment from a Conservative spokesman—I wonder why?

Oh: no, I don't. Because, lest anyone thinks that the Tories are going to be any better, your humble Devil would like to remind his readers that Cameron was just as keen on compulsory "voluntary" service.

In fact, you might recall that, according to Iain Dale, it was "A Tory Policy That Everyone Can Unite Behind". David Cameron happily announced the idea in The Sun in September 2007...
EVERY 16-year-old will be expected to devote their summer holiday to “patriotic” national service under radical Tory plans to be unveiled today.

They will give up six weeks to put something back into Britain.

David Cameron will launch his plan for a National Citizen Service with boxing champ Amir Khan.

Youngsters going into adulthood will be able to take part in a mini triathlon, military training or the Three Peaks Challenge.

Others will get the chance to work with old folk, charities and even travel overseas helping Third World countries.

Mr Cameron exclusively told The Sun: “This will make people feel proud about themselves and about their country."

Yes, Dave, because when I want to feel proud of my country, I definitely like to highlight state slavery as one of the best things about it. You fucking moron.

So, voters of Britain, given that you have—essentially—a choice between Labour or Tories, which would you prefer: state slavery or state slavery?

What a world of fucking choice, eh?

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Posted by Devil's Kitchen at 4/12/2009 04:05:00 pm

17 Blogger Comments:

Anonymous Joe said...

I'm glad I'm too old for about this seasteading :D

4/12/2009 04:29:00 pm  
Anonymous Verity said...

I will write more in a minute, but want to comment on this, quickly, on enslaving native British children to serve in: "Third World countries."

Could we please stop using the term "third world" (and capitalising it)when what is meant is "Africa"? Name one "third world" country today that is not in Africa, the universal, ever-hungry, gaping charity maw.

4/12/2009 04:33:00 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Watch your blood-pressure DK, this one won't fly. The only kids they can lean on are those with parents who have something to lose. The chavs will tell him to fuck off, the HRA will kick off and that will be that.Brown is just talking to drown out the gathering storm.Anyway we already have state semi-slavery in the form of compulsory schooling.
However, are you certain about ZaNu being unable to afford their plan to force kids to stay until 18?. If that is true that would be a good sign indeed.

4/12/2009 04:40:00 pm  
Anonymous cookie said...

It's never going to happen. The costs would far exceed the benefits. As you rightly say, it's slavery: and the 'youth of today', bless 'em, are hardly likely to willingly undertake economically productive work at their own expense. This is just Brown spouting the same shite as usual.

4/12/2009 04:50:00 pm  
Anonymous mister_choos said...

For all the good it will do, I have created a petition on the Downing Street website. If it gets approved I will pass on the address if anyone is interested.

4/12/2009 05:02:00 pm  
Blogger Tim W said...

Treating children like criminals? Cracking way to promote community cohesion...

4/12/2009 05:22:00 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Students who want to do community service (and be recognised for it) already have lots of options, such as the Duke of Edinburgh Award. Some schools use the IB instead of A levels, and this includes the CAS component with 50 hours of service. But in a state school? No way.

4/12/2009 06:27:00 pm  
Anonymous sobers said...

It'll never work. What happens if they don't turn up? Do the police have to go and arrest them (if they can find them)? Are we going to criminalise even more teenagers?

Its just a typical politicial news bite, that sounds good, then gets dropped like a hot coal as soon as the Civil Service get to grips with the practical problems.

4/12/2009 06:29:00 pm  
Blogger Screech said...

As the others have said, it's not going to happen, either with labour or the tories, they will never be able to enforce it, and if they think the kids will just turn themselves over for it then they are more entrenched in fantasy utopia than i ever imagined. And the other thing is how are they going to justify the "voluntary" kids doing this against the ones who are doing it as punishment for crimes? Authoritarian fantasists, they're fucked, they know it but are using doublethink.

4/12/2009 06:51:00 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Brown, how about I "make" you 'voluntarily' feel my boot on your backside?

The wretched scumbag.

4/12/2009 08:29:00 pm  
Blogger BrianSJ said...

This is doubtless about indoctrination and would backfire beautifully. I had a Czech friend who said that everyone there got their Soviet indoctrination just at the rebellious teenage years, so they really hated the Russians as a consequence. A room full of teenagers watching Harriet Harman's greatest hits will do more for libertarianism than anything else.

4/12/2009 08:36:00 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Kerry McCarthy (Labour) MP thinks this is a marvellous idea!

4/12/2009 10:12:00 pm  
Blogger wonkotsane said...

This isn't a "Britain" policy, it's an "England" policy. He says it'll be in the school curriculum - eduction is devolved. Once again, the Scottish Prime Minister imposes his sick communist fantasies on the English and will any one of our "English" MPs stand up and tell him to fuck off and enslave his own children and the children of his constituents? Will they fuck, because nobody speaks for England.

4/12/2009 10:19:00 pm  
Blogger the doctor said...

I think it is a great idea , if I could get 100 kids for 50hrs. posting notices saying " Vote BNP or any party other than Green/LibLabCon"
all over the Northwest , I may be able to do some good .

4/13/2009 12:00:00 am  
Blogger AD627 said...

The Beeb - apparently without a hint of irony - has headlined it "Plan for compulsory volunteers".

We really are in the age of doublespeak.

4/13/2009 01:38:00 am  
Anonymous David Gillies said...

Many moons ago, during my summer holidays, aged 16 and 17, I worked like a fucking dog in Tesco's in-store bakery for less than two quid an hour. I paid PAYE and NI and maybe saved a thousand pounds during each miserable waste of time. If some NuLabour fuckstick had come along and told me I was doing it for the good of the community I would have kicked his belly open and strangled the cunt with his intestines. It wasn't morally improving: it was a soul-crushing waste of time that I bitterly regret having done. I should have been out getting drunk and fucked, instead of bagging 2000 dinner rolls a day. There is nothing to be said for hard work. It is the penance you pay for the brief interlude in your life when you get to do what you want, rather than what some fucking spastic tells you to do. The most uplifting thing that society can do is to free its citizens from giving a shit about the horde of total fucking mongs amongst which most of us are forced to live. Fuck community service. My very existence repays society a hundredfold. Anyone who says different should be doused in kerosene and lit up like a fucking bonfire.

4/13/2009 05:10:00 am  
Blogger Chalcedon said...

I asked my youngest (17) about this. She said that since she was too young to vote, having a compulsory scheme that included her was unfair. She said that if it messes up her move into higher education at 18 that would be unfair too. She was not at all happy about this, just glad that she will probably miss it.

4/13/2009 11:37:00 am  

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