... unless, of course, you are an MP trying to build up a property portfolio at the taxpayers' expense, in which case you can simply ensure that other people pay the tax for you, i.e. us.
MPs are avoiding stamp duty of more than £10,000 on second and third homes by claiming it back on their parliamentary expenses.
They are claiming it in addition to furnishings and mortgage interest payments for homes they are allowed to keep after leaving parliament. The exemption from one of Labour’s most unpopular taxes is revealed in more than 1m receipts for MPs’ claims due to be published this summer.
Well, that seems only fair, eh? It is we taxpayers who are actually paying for their homes so it seems only fair that it is we taxpayers who should be stuck with the Stamp Duty.
Kevin Brennan: filthy, four-eyed fraud.
Except, of course, that the person who keeps the asset at the end is not we taxpayers, but the MP involved. The disgusting, corrupt shitehawks.
Among MPs who claimed a stamp duty refund is Kevin Brennan, a Cabinet Office minister. He bought a flat in London in July 2007 and claimed back stamp duty of £10,200. “I was advised I could claim stamp duty by the authorities and did so for simplicity,” said Brennan, the MP for Cardiff West.
You fucking little liar: you didn't claim Stamp Duty against expenses for reasons of "simplicity"—you claimed it because you could make yourself £10,200 better off by sicking the taxpayer with the bill. You hideous, stinkingly corrupt, verminous cunt.
He said even if he had not made the claim, he would still have been entitled to the full annual allowance of £23,083 because of other expenses.
What? Look, you shit, these are not entitlements—they are supposed to be expenses incurred in doing your fucking job. I simply fail to see how building up an expensive property portfolio at our expense is part of doing your fucking job.
Rudi Vis: disgusting, chicken-necked fraud.
And that applies to you too, Rudi Vis, you thieving fucking charlatan.
RUDI VIS, the north London MP who is stepping down at the next election, has used his parliamentary expenses to help buy a £520,000 home for his retirement near the Suffolk coast.
Vis, 68, has taken out a mortgage on his London home to pay for the country property. Interest payments on the loan are funded out of his parliamentary expenses.
Vis is among 27 London MPs who last year claimed an accommodation allowance worth up to £23,083 to fund a second home.
Vis, a former economics lecturer, has owned his three-bedroom north London home since 1982. It is a 45-minute commute from the Commons. He said he took out a £480,000 mortgage on it in July 2006. He used the loan, along with other funds, to buy a £520,000 home near Woodbridge in Suffolk.
By informing the parliamentary authorities that his main home had moved to Suffolk, he was able to claim the interest payments on the loan secured on his London home. Over the past two years, he has claimed more than £40,000.
And can you guess what darling Rudi's excuse is for this blatant larceny...?
“The rules are questionable,” Vis said this weekend. “But this is well within the rules and I would have been advised if it wasn’t.”
Fuck your rules, Rudi: you can take your rules and shove them right up your fucking jacksie.
If you think that "the rules are questionable", then might I suggest—were you not utterly morally bankrupt—that you refrain from sticking your fat, piggy face into the public purse, you shit?
Theresa Villiers: dirty, thieving whore.
As always, it is not just the Labour MPs who are busy stuffing their faces with our cash: the Tories are at it too.
Theresa Villiers, the north London MP and shadow transport minister, has also claimed her stamp duty. She bought a flat within walking distance of the Commons in January last year, in addition to a property in outer London, and was able to claim £10,350 in stamp duty on expenses.
Geoff Hoon: smug, irritating, corrupt, troughing cunt.
The big one this weekend, though, is that utter fucking hoon, Geoff Hoon.
The Cabinet Minister who sent Britain's Armed Forces into the Iraq war claimed expenses on his constituency house and rented out his London home - while living throughout the conflict in a palatial grace-and-favour apartment in Whitehall.
Former Defence Secretary Geoff Hoon, now Transport Secretary in Gordon Brown's Government, lived rent-free for three-and-a-half years in Admiralty House, London, once occupied by Winston Churchill.
He used the opportunity to earn money from the London house he had declared to the Commons authorities as his 'main home' by renting it to a private tenant via a commercial lettings agency.
At the same time he claimed more than £70,000 in a 'second-home allowance' on his home in Derby, close to his constituency of Ashfield, Nottinghamshire.
In effect, it meant that during the war, and for three years afterwards, Mr Hoon had one home absolutely free, a second one covered by Commons expenses, and a third one which had initially been funded by expenses, paid for by rent.
And when he gave up his grace-and-favour apartment, he bought a new £635,000 London home and changed his 'main home' declaration which meant he could use his second-home allowance to help pay for it - and provide a home for his adult son.
You disgusting fucking hoon...
Mr Hoon insists he has done absolutely nothing wrong and maintains everything was approved by the Commons authorities.
Look, as we are now becoming painfully aware, the fact that "everything was approved by the Commons authorities" does not mean that you have "done absolutely nothing wrong". Because it is quite obvious to all of us that the Commons authorities are as absolutely corrupt—morally and financially—as the MPs themselves.
Now, according to the Times, the badger-faced moron is on the warpath.
Alistair Darling has called for an external body to govern the rules on MPs' expenses after fresh revelations about his Cabinet colleague Geoff Hoon reignited the controversy today.
The Chancellor confirmed that Gordon Brown would be meeting other party leaders to discuss how to handle the row, and admitted that the string of revelations were damaging to the Government.
Appearing on the BBC's Andrew Marr Show, he appeared to agree with calls for any fresh rules to be monitored by the Committee on Standards in Public Life, saying "there has to be some outside validation of this process."
So, Alastair, what you are saying is that the lot of you are so fucking corrupt—so steeped in thievery, larceny, dishonesty and immorality—that you cannot be trusted to govern yourselves.
And if you cannot be trusted to govern yourselves, why in the name of FUCK should you be trusted to govern the rest of us?
The answer is that you cannot—you cannot be trusted. Like every Parliament, you are so corrupt and corrupting, there is now no option but to tear it down and start again. Once again I shall quote Cromwell's speech for, though the man was a bit of a shit, there have been few more eloquent—or relevant—speeches delivered in the entire history of our Parliament.
"It is high time for me to put an end to your sitting in this place, which you have dishonored by your contempt of all virtue, and defiled by your practice of every vice; ye are a factious crew, and enemies to all good government; ye are a pack of mercenary wretches, and would like Esau sell your country for a mess of pottage, and like Judas betray your God for a few pieces of money.
"Is there a single virtue now remaining amongst you? Is there one vice you do not possess? Ye have no more religion than my horse; gold is your God; which of you have not barter'd your conscience for bribes? Is there a man amongst you that has the least care for the good of the Commonwealth?
"Ye sordid prostitutes have you not defil'd this sacred place, and turn'd the Lord's temple into a den of thieves, by your immoral principles and wicked practices? Ye are grown intolerably odious to the whole nation; you were deputed here by the people to get grievances redress'd, are yourselves gone!
"So! Take away that shining bauble there, and lock up the doors. In the name of God, go!"
Or, to put it into the modern vernacular, you are irredeemably soiled, morally bankrupt and utterly corrupted to the very depths of your depraved souls.
Fuck off and die, you thieving fucking cunts.