Friday, February 27, 2009

Dr Angel has flown too close to the sun

Via the Libertarian Alliance blog, I find this piece of barking insanity in The Daily Mailograph...
Scientists claim they can fight global warming by firing trillions of mirrors into space to deflect the sun's rays forming a 100,000 square mile "sun shade".

According to astronomer Dr Roger Angel, at the University of Arizona, the trillions of mirrors would have to be fired one million miles above the earth using a huge cannon with a barrel of 0.6 miles across.

The gun would pack 100 times the power of conventional weapons and need an exclusion zone of several miles before being fired.

Despite the obvious obstacles—including an estimated $350 trillion (£244trn) price tag for the project—Dr Angel is confident of getting the project off the ground.

If Dr Angel's sun shield is successful he says the mirrors will last 50 years before needing to be replaced.

"What you are talking about is a project which will stop global warming for centuries to come," he said.

No, Dr Angel: if this stupid idea actually worked, what you are talking about is plunging the Earth into a catastrophic ice-age from which it wouldn't recover for at least 50 years. Or rather, the Earth will be absolutely fine: mankind would be wiped out.

You know, all of those great British post-apocalyptic sci-fi writers were right—aided by pig-ignorant, evil politicians, insane scientists will, indeed, destroy us all. The only bit that said writers got wrong was that the apocalypse would be delivered by nuclear weapons.

Fucking hellski...

20 comments:

MARA MACSEOININ said...

One suspects that the mirrors might just break having been fired out of a cannon.

Anonymous said...

I think that sounds like a fucking awesome idea. Fuck the global warming schtick - I'm just erect at the idea of a giganto-space cannon with 0.6 mile barrel.

This is almost as awesome as that guy who wanted to bring back zeppelins to replace planes.

My friends, if giant space cannon and dirigibles are the face of the c21st green movement, then just call me Kermit cuz I am all about this shit.

basementcat said...

I believe we have a new patient for the lunatic asylum. Are we sure they didn't just run an April Fool's story a month early?

Field Marshall Watkins said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Field Marshall Watkins said...

They'll do it for the LULZ.

I must admit, reading that put me in hysterics.

How many trillions of pounds? This has got to be the most pathetic, insane fucking shit-mad 'scheme' I've ever heard of, including my sci-fi collection of books and movies. I mean, a mankind destroying economic liability, in order to fight against something that doesn't exist. Mmmm smells like a dialectic to me.

I would give Dr Angel the pimp hand for that statement. Anything to justify their continuing salaries I suppose...

Angry Exile said...

The window licker's window licker, and thoroughly trumping the other daft ideas like pouring iron filings into the sea. Law of unintended consequences, nnnnnnnnnnuurrrrrhhh what's that then? But cheer up, I very much doubt it'll happen - $345 trillion is a huge amount of money that the world simply hasn't got spare at the moment.

Anonymous said...

I saw a Discovery documentary about this. The mirrors are tiny and very very thin. All the tests they did on them failed miserably. They fired them from an electromagnetic gun and in a rocket. The mirrors smashed every single time.

Even if they did manage to get them to survive, the number of"bullets" they would need to shoot into space was in the tens of thousands.

They did another project designing a ballon as a wind turbine and got would when it turned at lowish windspeeds. No generator was attached , and anybody who had a dynamo on a bike as a kid will now how much harder it was to pedal when you were using it.

Both ideas are completely barking. They haven't a clue. But no doubt they will be reaching down the government's blouse to haul that state teat out for a damn good sucking.
Ardeholes!

mister_choos

John A said...

They've been cribbing from Wells again. Next, they will suggest that some of the costs can be recovered by sending men to the Moon.

Anonymous said...

Very good idea Dr Angel.. yes...

NURSE THE SYRINGE NOW!

And what happens when all these mirrors get smashed to buggery by all the crap orbiting the planet? Even more crap to clean up. Sounds like a mini environmental disaster waiting to be approved by the cunts in various gumments...

Oh well back to carbon-trading as the (Money Spinning) answer.

Anonymous said...

Additional:

Why not spend that cash on a Space Elevator?

Actually I only added more so I could use the word verification defooks

Anonymous said...

@Field Marshal Watkins

Rules 1 & 2, amigo. Rules 1 & 2.

But please God let there be no application of Rule 34 to DK.

@Anon 10:06pm
Why not spend that cash on a Space Elevator?

Because Space Elevators are les awesome than giganto-space cannon by several levels of megnitude. If you can't see that, there is simply no hope for you and you should probably die in a fire.

Henry Crun said...

Dr Angel...the clue's in the name. It must be all made up. Or perhaps Dr Angel works for Drax Corporation, or something.

As you quite rightly say DK, Fucking Hellski!!

ENGLISHMAN said...

But we can not fire our nuclear waste into the sun,because it is too dangerous.

Cllr Gavin Ayling said...

Scientific American magazine (I am a subscriber) has a more balanced appraisal of that and other geoengineering ideas: http://www.sciam.com/article.cfm?id=geoengineering-how-to-cool-earth

Budgie said...

This is so funny it must be true. After all they print so much money they have to spend it on some delusional scheme. Move over NHS Spine and CO2 trading. Are they Solartics or Heliotics?

Chris said...

Mad science worthy of Dr Farnsworth from "Futurama". In fact didn't they parody this kind of thing in one episode?

"Dump ever-larger ice cubes in the oceans, thereby cooling the seas and solving the menace of global warming forever."
"But..."
"FOREVER!"

Virgil xenophon said...

Greatest Sci-Fi movie about unintended consequences EVER is a little known NZ movie "The Quiet Earth." Check it out--still avail on tape thru specialty outlets.

Rob said...

Satire, must be. It is a satire on big-government 'solutions' to "global warming", has to be. He cannot be serious.

If he is serious, it would make the Egyptians who built the Great Pyramid look like wise investors.

Anonymous said...

Hold on a minute. Isn't global warming supposed to be man made, in which case what the fuck use would a trillion mirrors, fired by cannons with a huge carbon footprint be?

They just change the story to suit their crackpot ideas and research grant demands.

Al Gore's Gas Emission said...

I guess the dimwit thinks that as global warming is man-made and people will carry on heating the earth up, it is necessary to stop any other form of heat.

In other words, all the tons of hot air generated by the leftie media is not having the right effect. We, the plebs who don't have second homes in exotic places or need to fly the world collecting awards for our spoutings, are still generating way too much heat.

Nothing like a solid dose of ice-age to put us right, is there?