Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Polly Toynbee: political slut

She's a fickle creature, ain't she? One minute she's lusting after her big Viking warrior, and the next dearest Polly is rejecting him; as far as Brown is concerned, young Polly is blowing hot and cold.

This trend has been particularly noticeable over the last couple of years: could it be that Polly has found herself a fuck-buddy to scratch the itch when Gordon has annoyed her? Yes, she has and yesterday he was sworn in as the 44th President of the United States in an outpouring of hysteria not seen on this planet since that concrete pillar did a number on The World's Most Manipulative Waste of Space™, Princess Diana.

Polly's breathless encomium to the Boy Blunder™ is, even by her standards, gut-wrenchingly gushing. Take this sentence for instance...
But the monumental present danger has summoned forth a man who promises the intellect, character and power of persuasion to match the hour.

Fucking. Hell. The whole article is simplistic in its analysis of the issues and so deeply, deeply embarrassing in its assessment of Obama—a man who has already run into trouble with three of his appointees before he even took on the mantle of the Presidency—that I want to vomit. The whole tenor of the article makes me, an emotionally-stunted public school boy, feel ashamed to be British, frankly.

Nor does Polly's paean appeal to an American email correspondent...
Oh god... Polly yesterday. I feel like the little girl in the Exorcist, projectile-vomiting everywhere.

What the hell is this, too...
It wasn't until Obama was elected on a tax-the-rich ticket...

Was he? What? I must have missed the bit wherein we weren't taxing the rich (and the middle class, and the poor, and anyone who buys or sells stuff, and anyone with a pulse...).

Or maybe on 4 November 2008, the Earth was snatched from its position in the universe by evil, life-hating aliens and relocated in an alternate dimension where Murphy's Law is real instead of just a pessimistic axiom.

Anyway, her piece just goes to prove my contention that everything she writes for public consumption is a massive fucking joke perpetrated on the idiot readers of The Grauniad. I've never been slapped in the face so hard by hyperbole before in my life, and I teach Ovid, for god's sake. I mean, really—
There has never been a day like it for Britain's postwar generations. As that inauguration speech echoes out, the globe itself seems to inhale a mighty, collective intake of breath, frighteningly audacious in its hope.

I thought the speech was tedious, uninspiring, scarily vague and predictably full of terrifying comparatives. Good luck, America: you're fucked.

Because, as Jon Worth points out, if one adapts Obama's speech for a British audience "the words and sentiments could fit a Labour PM quite well." Given the economic record of Labour governments in Britain, and assuming a similar progression under Obama, I'd say that the US will be completely sodding bankrupt by the end of Obama's first term.

Fucking hellski...

22 comments:

max the impaler said...

Good post Dk.If ever you feel the need to make yourself throw up..keep her article.What complete and utter bollocks.

Mark Wadsworth said...

It'll be interesting to see how the lefties' knee-jerk hatred of all things American will be balanced with their love of all things Obama.

I mean, they are world champions at hyprocrisy, so I am sure they will manage, the question is HOW? Or even WHY?, I suppose.

Obama is already shaping up to be the worst president since Kennedy, but half a century later the lefties still haven't admitted to that.

The Nameless Libertarian said...

What a remarkable article from Toynbee. Reading it, I wondered who she was talking about. The person cited in her article appears to be a cross between Karl Marx, Superman, Lion-O (Lord of the Thundercats) and Jesus H Christ himself. It certainly doesn't read like an appraisal of an untested, PR focussed, inexperienced newbie President.

TNL

Budgie said...

DK said: "...an outpouring of hysteria not seen on this planet since that concrete pillar did a number on The World's Most Manipulative Waste of Space™, Princess Diana."

And before that none other than the peepuls presdint A Bliar (oops sorry that should be Prime Mentalist - where Gorgon is the Sub-prime Mentalist).

Anonymous said...

It'll be interesting to see how the lefties' knee-jerk hatred of all things American will be balanced with their love of all things Obama.

No. It'll be interesting to see how the wingnuts' kneejerk borderline sexual adoration of all things American will be balanced with their foaming rabid hatred of all things Obama.

The Mighty Pumpkin said...

Those of us on the other side of the political divide rather enjoyed this fisking of Obama speech

http://louisproyect.wordpress.com/2009/01/20/deconstructing-obama/

Proyect is good fun here and I thought you chaps would enjoy

God we are going to have some balls ache over the next few years

Gareth said...

Polly said: But the monumental present danger has summoned forth a man who promises the intellect, character and power of persuasion to match the hour.

That man was Ronald Reagan.

Where is the grand ideological battle of this age? Communism v Capitalism has been replaced with statism. Neither side quite won. Neither side quite lost. But the people have - lost their freedoms, lost their savings, lost their privacy, lost the fabric of their societies.

Terrorism and repellant regimes will continue to be a thorn in the side of the West, as they have been for decades. Economies will grow and shrink, as they have done for centuries. Barrack Obama is not the Messiah.

Tony Blair was the British Bill Clinton. Good at saying things that didn't quite mean what his audience thought they did. Good at claiming the credit for other people's success. Good at getting the media on his side. Good at selling the notion that change itself is more important than ideas or even ideals. Lawyer by trade, lawyer by nature. Barrack Obama is the American Tony Blair.

These people get more hollow and shallow with each new version.

Henry Crun said...

@ Gareth, what a relief. I thought it was just me

frank said...

i agree with Gareth - President Obama seems to be a Mulatto version of Blair. maybe we should hope that that's all he is. the man is a charismatic speaker with an attractive and commanding persona. quite like someone else whose name hasn't slipped my mind. the President was elected on a race ticket, in an economic downturn, and when the country is under a "grave" perceived threat by an easily-identifiable target group. i hope the President turns out to be as good a guy as most people believe he is, and if so i wish him luck - but it seems to me that we've heard this song before.

Swiss Bob said...

DK,

I got through half a dozen sick bags yesterday.

It's simplistic but it really does feel like it's gone all Britain 1997 in the US. On the other hand it's hard to think how much worse he can make it.

I shall live in the hope, unlike all those wetting themselves yesterday that I may be pleasantly surprised. Ever the optimist.

PS What is this specificclick thing downloaded to my PC each time I visit your site? Stop it!

Anonymous said...

A mulatto? Jesus Fucking Christ - where do you think you are? Fucking antebellum New Orleans? Alabama in the 1950s?

xelent said...

...'I'd say that the US will be completely sodding bankrupt by the end of Obama's first term.'...

Here's bloody hoping, as its the only way change is gonna happen..

Henry Crun said...

Anon 06:02. Please take your self-righteous indignation and fuck off.

Anonymous said...

@Henry Crun

Quite right. Keep the niggers, coons and jigaboos in their place - in the fucking cotton field. How dare those black monkey bastards think they're the equal of the white man. Next thing you know, they'll be lusting after our white women.

You worthless fucktard.

xelent said...

Anon.. I believe you are the knee jerk DK was mentioning..

What makes you consider anyone is racist here?.. Obama is just another tool of the state.. nothing new there

Gareth said...

President Barack Obama vows to clean up American politics

Havent we heard all this before? We know from experience it will be a subterfuge for massive enrichment of his colleagues* at the taxpayer's expense. It is the typical lie of the puritan. The preacher who proclaims the Godliness in being faithful while cheating on his wife, the Policeman on the take, the alcoholic Doctor.

A lot of what Obama says is meaningless. Some of what he said is bang on the money - America won't be backing away from a fight any time soon and if the people are tightening their belts so must Washington.


* The lot of them. Not just Democrats.

Henry Crun said...

Anon 08h10.

I notice you don't have the balls to identify yourself.

Secondly, it appears you have been offended. Good.
From the use of the word "fucktard" it would appear that you may be American and I presume you voted for Obama. If so, you have the IQ of a daffodil.

Again I say to you fuck off and take your self-righteous indignation with you.

Roger Thornhill said...

It is getting so masturbatory, he will soon be called Barak Onana.

Dave said...

Glenda Slag lives on

Fred Preuss said...

It's easy to see how the Left will reconcile anti-Americanism with pro-Obama feelings: "He can't do everything he would like to do. His people are too backwards to receive the fullness of the Progressive Revelation." Something like Kipling's "White Man's Burden" (and no, I'm not racist), humoring along lesser intellects without degrees in Sociology degrees. But they'll get round it. Pilger's already claiming that Ombama's sold his soul to corporate America.

Gordian Knots said...

Don't be cruel. Polly just needs someone to love...

Kiss me, hold me, Barack... tell me again how together we will soak the rich, crush the poor, bring socialist envy into the lives of so many... oh, Barack... is that a election I see in your pocket, or are you just pleased to see me worshipping you...

(word verification: state)

Gordian Knots said...

Um, typo, that should be an election. Natch.