Sunday, January 11, 2009

LabourList: where "exciting" = "fucking dull"

As many people have noticed, Derek Draper's thrilling answer to the right-wing blogs has been launched—LabourList.org. It looks, and operates, like shit; the articles are the usual fucking po-faced, poorly-researched wank that attacks the Tories rather than concentrating on what NuLabour have done right (a difficult task, admittedly) or what better ideas they may have; further, the roster of writers looks to be one of the most tedious line-ups since Take That reformed.

Obviously, your humble Devil will be adding it to his RSS reader—well, he will be when they've actually got their RSS feed working properly—in order to be able to mock them with monotonous regularity. Possibly.

Anyway, lots of people on the Right and the Left have been wishing the very best of luck to LabourList.org, which is nice. Personally, I hope that they fail miserably and, with the standard of writing so far displayed, I am fairly confident that this collection of wittering nitwits will be dead in the water in about six months—although I could be wrong.

It could be sooner.

Anyway, it's late and my burning boudoir beckons, but I thought that I would leave you with the biography of one of their A-List writers, Sarah Mulholland.
Sarah Mulholland is the National Chair of Labour Students. Sarah worked full time in the health service before graduating from Leeds University where she studied Politics and Parliamentary Studies. Sarah sits on the National Policy Forum, and is a member of the Women’s, Race and Equalities Committee. She is a proud member of Unison and Unite the Union, and is originally from the North East.

I ran this paragraph through my super DK Left-Speak Translator, and it came up with the following:
Sarah Mulholland is a terrific bore who has never held down a proper job in her entire life, and who can be safely dismissed as a total fucking moron who couldn't write elegantly or pertinently if her life depended on it.

I thought that this must be a mistake—after all, her wonderfully insightful article on university top-up fees, despite not answering her own question and adding precisely fuck-all of any use to the debate—is surely one of the must-read Lefty tracts of the century—so I ran it through the DK Left-Speak Translator again and again and it just kept spitting out the same response:
Sarah Mulholland is a terrific bore who has never held down a proper job in her entire life, and who can be safely dismissed as a total fucking moron who couldn't write elegantly or pertinently if her life depended on it.

Damn! I thought that I'd got it right: I'll just have to check the algorithms in the morning...

UPDATE: on a slightly less flippant note, Jon Worth has a number of valid concerns and it is this one that I rate as the most important.
If the contributors to Labour List are incapable of doing it themselves then the editor(s) should make sure articles are full of links to background information, links to other bloggers’ articles…

Linking to research or, at the very least, reputable media sources to back up any figures or assertions is incredibly important: this government have been adept at deception, lies and spin and the writers are going to have to work hard to overcome this and gain some kind of reputation for honesty (I'm not holding my breath).

So far the results are... Oh, for fuck's sake, the articles are just tedious, partisan bollocks; further, the contributors have obviously been told that the house writing style is one that...
"should make the reader feel like they are wading through a lake of the world's most turgid treacle: you must bore them into submission."

These fuckers make Polly look good...

27 comments:

Obnoxio The Clown said...

"Po-faced wank" sums it up very well, sadly.

Devil's Kitchen said...

Indeed.

Oh, and you might want to note my special domains to link to the site: labourpissed.org and labourpissed.org/latest_bollocks

DK

Fucking Delicious! said...

Rather pathetic that you are ripping it up so 'vociferously' considering it is in beta. Get a life.

Fucking Delicious!

Henry North London said...

DK is she anything to do with common purpose ?

Dennis said...

Henry, they're all to do with CP.

Now, what about this LabourList shite? I was half hoping that it would be a place where I could indulge in a spot of destructive fisking. Then I thought "Why bother?" I looked at the site and realized that no fun was to be had there at all. Most of the commentators so far have come straight from Guido & similar watering-holes. When they get modded out what will we have? CiF is more interesting and amusing, if socialist-baiting is your sport.

All in all, talking to these people is a waste of breath. If they can't see that the Leader has trashed (a) Britain, (b) its economy, and (c) the Labour Party, then they certainly aren't likely to be swayed by any sort of argument.

Nicholas J. Rogers said...

You know you're in for a treat when one of the writers says - 'Polly Toynbee puts it perfectly'...

Anonymous said...

"I will leave University with upwards of £20,000 of debt"

That's from the history undergrad.

Now someone, please, please explain to me.

HOW DOES SOMEONE GET INTO TWENTY GRAND DEBT DOING A HISTORY COURSE?

Are pens and paper really expensive nowadays?

I did a fine art degree in the 90s, and because of the degree, you had to pay for all sorts of crazy stuff. each tube of paint cost a fiver, each brush was a couple of quid, there was studio space to pay for, canvas, frames, exhibitions, endless amounts of paper, pencils, you name it, we had to buy it.

Even so, despite having no money at all, I managed to leave uni with about 2 grand in student loans.

So please someone, explain this to me. Is this guy going to end up with that much debt because he's been conned into *believing* he's supposed to leave with that much?

Elby the Beserk said...

So against my better nature I joined, and it says "Joined ... redirecting" ...

And that's it!

Shit hot software eh? Must have had a top QA team on it.

Ron said...

I suggest we tear this new website a new arsehole.

chris said...

I am fairly confident that this collection of wittering nitwits will be dead in the water in about six months

They agree with you, the site's domain has less than a year until it needs to be renewed and thy only bought 12 months to start with. The cost of an extra year is barely anything so it doesn't really say much about the expected longevity.

Domain ID:D153628603-LROR
Domain Name:LABOURLIST.ORG
Created On:19-Aug-2008 09:27:05 UTC
Last Updated On:19-Oct-2008 03:51:43 UTC
Expiration Date:19-Aug-2009 09:27:05 UTC
Sponsoring Registrar:eNom, Inc. (R39-LROR)

Henry North London said...

To Anon@ 10.16

20000 is what 2000 is after inflation in a labour government

Cato said...

Sarah Mulholland's biography reads like one of those annual encyclicals sent out by doting parents at Christmas time: 'Sarah has discovered the joys of fellatio/cunnilingus' (delete as you will)

Where's the shredder?

Anonymous said...

(a) Do not talk shit about Take That.

(b) Nothing makes Polly look good - unless, perhaps, you're talking about a Rottweiler or three attached to her throat.

ChrisM said...

"Clearly the ‘top’ universities will charge the highest fees and become richer, while smaller institutions, unable to compete at that level and recognising their relevant market value, will be forced to attract students through lower fees, meaning they become poorer and less able to invest in their staff, students and facilities".

Clearly. Just like Harrods has all but put Tesco out of business.

JuliaM said...

"I suggest we tear this new website a new arsehole."

What's wrong with the current arsehole...? ;)

chris said...

@Cato: I suspect that LabourList will soon come to specialize in anilingus

Anonymous said...

@anon 10.16
10k loan to pay tuition fees, 10k maintenance loan to pay for accomodation. unless you can get mummy and daddy to pay it all 20k of debt is about right.

Grimly said...

I went and looked, and this oppressive site just radiated everything socialist; I could sense waves of envious misery, masturbatory paranoia and self-pitying hypocrisy beaming through the pixels.

John East said...

This just went up on the leftie wankers site:

"we have decided, for a trial period, to try pre-moderating comments so that we can compare the quailty of conversation thus encouraged to what has gone on up until now."

They're running scared already.

Katabasis said...

Apparently questions are not permitted on the site - they only want "conversations".

Verity said...

It's taken a pasting over on The Spectator.

Earthlet Nigel said...

Apparently questions are not permitted on the site - they only want "conversations"

So waterboardings out then, shame

The Refuser said...

Beta testing sounds like some of the other half baked schemes they have foisted on the general public in the last decade. This blog should be strangled at birth.

Anonymous said...

Jesus Fucking Wept. Labour's new seekrit weppun:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1112114/Labour-creates-virtual-Peter-Mandelson-bid-challenge-Tories-cyberspace.html


Word verification: roodom....

Roberto 'Tito' Sarrionandia said...

...That is woefully bad, is there a single sentence worth reading?

asquith said...

Worked full time in the health service? Doing what?

Anonymous said...

cuntlist, more like.