Remember to fake a drink problem if you haven’t developed one as a result of dealing with us already. Magistrates and Judges do seem to like the idea that you are basically good but the naughty alcohol made you do it. They treat you better. Crazy I know but true.
Then having accepted this, and duly logged said drink problem in the crime book, the CPS pass the evidence onto the state so that the government can conclude that everyone is fundamentally decent and would do nowt wrong were it not for the evils of booze.
And so whatever bunch of fucking shysters are in government at the time can conclude that the only way to cut crime is to ensure that nobody—apart from the massively-subsidised shysters themselves—can afford to buy drink.