Sunday, November 02, 2008

Words of advice

I have two things to ask of you fine people; the first is a quick bleg. I was just wondering if any readers of The Kitchen have any experience in trademarking? If you do, I'd love to ask you a couple of questions so if you could drop me a line (address in the sidebar: just click on RSS and Contact Details) that would be super.
UPDATE: done. Thanks.

The second is to gauge interest: I have been contemplating publishing (through Lulu or whatever) a Best Of The Devil's Kitchen-type book: I'm just wondering whether anyone would be tempted to shell out for such a thing or whether it simply isn't worth my while...?

On a similar note, a few people have expressed an interest in a series of what I call "downstairs loo" books, along the lines of The Devil's Guide To... So, the series might start with The Devil's Guide To Socialism, or The Devil's Guide To The EU.

I know that there are a couple of people who would be interested in helping me to write and structure such a series, but are there any people who would be interested in buying said books?*

* Yes, they would contain swearing.

38 comments:

Nothos said...

If you created a downstairs loo book, I'd expect it just to be 600 pages of pictures of Barrosso, printed on the finest three ply toilet paper, so I could keep wiping my arse on his pompous face again, and again, and again.

But in all seriousness, both ideas sound delightful, I'd splurge on them :)

David Davis said...

I'll help you write a guide to socialism if you like, Devil.

Anonymous said...

Maybe you should check out these people who have published a number of blogger books. http://mondaybooks.blogspot.com/

cheers
IceQueen

Old Holborn said...

I wouldn't pay a brass farthing to read to your rants OR my comments. In fact Obo needs to be paying us to read his shite.

richard allan said...

I'd buy them all.

Chalcedon said...

I would buy both. Seriously.

John Pickworth said...

The second book idea sounds good. I've never been a fan of books based on blog content (you could just as well read it online). However, the 'guides to' idea is a good one.

On the trademark question: If you want to add (tm) after your product and service you're free to do so. If you want to protect it though (to stop others doing the same) you'd need to register (r) your mark (symbol or name).

Those that say yes and encourage you will most likely not buy them - unless in the bargain bucket - and then only use them as door stops said...

Publishing books - pah!

Leave that to Polly.

I want you as my MP.

Sackerson said...

Seen the "Bluffer's Guide" series? Short, sweet, informative.

http://www.ovalbooks.com/bluff/

Budgie said...

I agree with john pickworth on both counts.

The biggest problems with copyright, patents and registration is i) finding out if anyone has copied your work, ii) proving it, iii) taking legal action.

Registering a design is cheap compared to patenting, but is obviously a different type of protection, usually for different things.

A registered design must be new (ie not created by another) and have individual character.

thomas said...

I'd buy the EU book for my Dad. He'd love a few EU ring of stars pages at the back, perforated so he could tear them off and wipe his arse with them. I'm totally serious, we're looking for EU flag bog paper. Also an EU flag doormat.

AA said...

Hell yeah

Harry Hook said...

Are you dropping the 'Kitchen' for some reason?

chuck said...

Hoping to make a million and escape the rat race?

Anonymous said...

What about branded toilet paper?

Alan Douglas said...

"*Yes, they would contain swearing."

Downstairs loos are used by young family members. You will be limiting your potential range of purchasers if you insist on including real swearing.

On the other hand, there is a well-established tradition, even in kids' comics, of writing what you @+&*^%*# well want to, and getting away with it.

Alan Douglas

the hobbs end martian said...

The Devils' Guide to ...

chapters include

Anthropogenic Global Warming, sorry, Climate Change, sorry Climate Chaos.

International Finance, why we're fucked.

16th Century Sea Shanties, with guitar tabs.

Tabs or Sachets - A wash day conundrum.

A Scaffolders Guide to Security.

Interactive TV comes of age with electroshock collars.

Braiding hemp rope, with tables of drops and weights.

An inevitable Sudoku page.

Anonymous said...

not sure how it would go, just don't forget web-self-publishing considering you have a ready-made fan base online which can do all the marketing for you..what's the name of the publisher again?

yrah, lulu.com

Stewart Cowan said...

Maybe, but not if there's swearing.

After the Brand/Ross debacle, it’s just so passé.

Bloggers should get more excercise said...

I'd ask the Library to order the Books, would that help.

PS, a little birdie tells me you have been blogging too much and are in need of some excercise.

may I suggest Nov 5th in London.
Please bring along any friends and pass the excercise idea onto other bloggers.

http://bastardoldholborn.blogspot.com/2008/07/old-holborn-is-going-for-walk.html

http://bastardoldholborn.blogspot.com/2008/10/my-walk-details.html

Anonymous said...

Trade Mark info here

http://www.ipo.gov.uk/tm.htm

And yes, it is as boring as it looks.

Oh, "Trademarks" is an Americanism, over here we call them "trade marks"

talwin said...

Scaryduck wrote a book based on his self-indulgent mental blog meanderings. I bought it and it was still funny.

While Scaryduck's pre-occupation is with how often and where he shits, yours concentrates more on beautifully crafted phrases and sentences linking the words fuck and cunt. The latter style is preferable to me and I would buy your book(s).

Ian_QT said...

I'd be interested, especially in the Devil's Guides.

xelent said...

Personally like some previous comments I would say that an anthology of blog content might be less interesting...

However, a more autobiographical look at the political changes that you have been through would be most interesting...

It could be your way of putting the dissenters to bed as it were... And in so doing could raise your profile to boot...

Chris Snowdon said...

I would certainly dip my hand in my pocket. How about one book about the left and another about the right?

Gen d'Eau said...

anon 8:19

eu branded toliet paper - what a winner of an idea.

I've had a look for an eu 'europa' logo'd door mat on the web - can't find one.

I'd have thought a nice doormat with a piccie of McStalin and his happy band of wankers would be a winner too.

Anybody know where to find such a thing? The only rug making sites I've found want me to spend commercial amounts, too much!

Mike Rouse said...

I'd buy a Guide to the EU, but that's about it to be honest - i'm not much of a reader as you know. An eBook/Audiobook option would be cool. I'd happily voice an audiobook for you for free as this is something I wouldn't mind getting into.

Tor Hershman said...

If you’re going to enjoy publishing, then publish. If you want to insure a monetary profit, prostitute yourself; this is America.
Anywho, you humorously stated that you may suffer from Tourettes Syndrome, you should try rejoicing with TORtourettes Syndrome.

BTW – there is no Devil or God that we didn’t create
(See: this YouTube film for an update of God).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z7iQRFP_e90

Stay on groovin' safari,
Tor Hershman

The Lakelander said...

You should do one called "The Devils Kitchen."

There are enough numpties out there who will buy any book that's vaguely about cooking.

Just imagine their little faces when they start reading it...

Tomrat said...

I'd buy the second idea, certainly, but asking a yorkshire man to buy something he can get for free is like lunging wildly at the pope; neither will end well.

Go for the lakelander's idea; put your mug on the front cover in front of an Aga, some brass pans and a deer carcasss and your laughing.

Rob Fisher said...

The blog book is the kind of thing that would be good to read after Christmas dinner, so I'd probably put that on my Christmas present list even though I could read it all online anyway.

Devil's Guide To... Yep, I'd buy those, too.

the a&e charge nurse said...

Devil - may I suggest a quote for the section on socialism ?

"A man who chooses between drinking a glass of milk and a glass of potassium cyanide does not choose between two beverages; he chooses between life and death. A society that chooses between capitalism and socialism does not choose between two social systems; it chooses between social cooperation and the disintegration of society".
[Ludwig von Mises]

Tim said...

i think i'd buy a 'guide to'.

Chris said...

Publishing via Lulu is cheap as chips but don't expect bookshops or amazon to sell any copies - Waterstones won't touch 'em.

Also, the Friday Project failed abysmally to publish "blog" books.

Anonymous said...

I wouldn't buy a book of the blog,although add some people you've had sex with for money and you may get am itv2 series! but devil's guide books i would be interested in. the commenter above is right about the swearing though... unfortunately it would limit your readership and getting the message out is the important part right?

whoops said...

I wouldn't buy a book of the blog,although add some people you've had sex with for money and you may get am itv2 series! but devil's guide books i would be interested in. (SORRY FOR DOUBLE POST... BLOODY PHONE! ) the commenter above is right about the swearing though... unfortunately it would limit your readership and getting the message out is the important part right?

James Higham said...

You'd need to select carefully and prune heavily. It might be worth your while having a trusted ally doing it.

Anonymous said...

Your blog has enough readers to warrant approaching a "proper" publisher if that held any interest to you. If people will read a blog, surely they will buy a book.

Otherwise Lulu could be good for squeezing as much as possible out in terms of royalties.