The Tories aren't even in power yet and I fucking loathe them already: anyone who claims that the Conservatives are going to give us any more freedom than NuLabour is closing their eyes to what the Tories are actually saying.
Today's proof of the fact that Cameron's lot are a total bunch of cunts comes from some fucking moron called James Brokenshire (apt name, stupid guy) on the Blue Blog.
Labour’s policies on alcohol have been reckless and irresponsible. They were cavalier in introducing 24-hour drinking without thinking it through...
Yes, how dare they allow people to get a drink when they want, whatever the time of day! They should not be allowed that kind of freedom. Naughty Labour!
—and the consequences have been more drink-fuelled violence in the early hours, with A&E Departments forced to pick up the pieces.
Rather than creating a café culture, we’ve now got a drink-fuelled crime culture.
Except, as John Band pointed out, the actual incidence of violent alcohol-fuelled crime has not actually increased at all.
Every prediction I made in this piece from 2005 on 24-hour drinking has proved to be correct: on-trade alcohol consumption has fallen, levels of alcohol-related crime haven’t changed; pubs haven’t made any extra money; but puritan idiots have continued to rail against the rule change anyway.
The most offensively stupid puritan argument is that ‘24-hour drinking hasn’t cut violent crime, so it was a failure’. No - the point is, it means that law-abiding people can go out for a drink without having to obey insane rules created to stop soldiers in the trenches getting jealous of civvies back home during WWI. That is a good thing in its own right. If drink-related violence had risen, we’d need to weigh the good against the bad. Since it hasn’t, we can say that the licensing law changes are an unequivocally good thing, and crack open some booze to celebrate. Hurrah!
I mean, I know that you are a politician, James, but couldn't you just try not lying? Go on, you might like it.
We would give councils a much stronger say over licensing in their area and back this up with more visible policing on the streets.
Yes, more visible policing would be great; but Labour claimed that they were going to do that too, and so they employed a load of plastic police officers (who are absolutely less than fuck-all use unless you want to study the kind of hideous, jacked-up, officious little shit who was happily sending Jews to the gas-chambers in Nazi Germany).
So, James: what is the Tory plan for "more visible policing"? Are you actually going to remove the paperwork? Are you going to let the police do their job, i.e. arresting criminals? Or are you just going to fucking talk about it, as per fucking usual?
But the social and health costs linked to binge drinking mean that we just can’t ignore the pricing and promotion of alcohol.
Why? Fuck you.
The point is that we don't all binge-drink and why the fuck should we suffer because you have some kind of mealy-mouthed, prurient, moral objection to how people spend their time and money, you loathesome cunt?
Drink being sold as a ‘loss leader’ at prices virtually cheaper than water isn’t right and it isn’t responsible.
It "isn't right"? Says who, sunshine—you? Fuck you: stop trying to map your personal morals onto me, you shitstain.
Besides, drink is not "virtually cheaper than water"; it might be chepaer than bottled water, but that isn't the same thing, is it? Bottled water is a lifestyle choice, not a necessity: drinking alcohol is my lifestyle choice and why should I be punished for that, you four-eyed bastard?
That’s why we would legislate to ban below-costs sales and target alcohol duty on those products most closely linked to binge boozing.
Oh, here we go: let's legislate and make sure that the innocent are punished along with the guilty, eh? Except that people binge-drinking are not even guilty of anything apart from living their lives how they want.
First, I still haven't heard a definition of binge-drinking that isn't based on the absolutely fucking made-up "safe" units of alcohol. Has anyone else?
Second, drinking is not yet a crime and how fast or often I choose to drink is none of your fucking business, you interfering piece of shit.
Third, if you don't like people being drunk and disorderly enforce the laws that we already have, you terrible cunt. Do you understand me? Laws against people being actively problematic already. Fucking. Exist.
You need to ensure that they are enforced because if the existing laws are not enforced, then nor will your new ones be. Seriously, how stupid are you?
But we’ve also got to challenge attitudes on excessive alcohol consumption. We would encourage locally-based programmes which combine education with enforcement, prevention with punishment.
Good soundbites, James: but what are you actually going to do other than pass yet more illiberal laws? And don't you think—given the vast amounts of taxpayers' money that you use to subsidise your bars—that any MPs moralising about alcohol might be laughed out of the fucking room? I sincerely hope so.
Last year, your bars were susidised to the tune of £5.5 million of our money: once all subsidy is withdrawn, then we might start listening to you on alcohol issues. Until then, I highly recommend that you shut the fuck up, Brokenshire, you disgusting little peasant.
We are the only Party providing solutions to make a difference in the short term as well as the long term.
So, more control over the people of this country then: whoopee-fucking-do, I can't wait. Not.
So join us in calling time on Labour’s failed approach.
Oh do fuck off. Labour may have failed, but so will you because your "solutions" are precisely the same as theirs: price-fixing, micromanagement and hypocrisy.
Under the Tories, as under Labour, our lives will be ever less fun and less free. There is absolutely no difference between the two parties; they are both led by totalitarian cunts and populated by spivs, wankers, thugs and pisspots.
The Tories won't increase freedom: the only things that the Conservatives are going to increase are interference, misery and moralising.