Like Guido, I do not endorse the adverts that appear on this blog: they pay for a few beers—a very few beers—and I generally don't mind who's footing the bill. I am actually very happy to take money from those causes which I despise on the grounds that I am pretty confident that anyone who reads The Kitchen will heartily despise them too and be warmed at the thought of your humble Devil taking money off them in order to fund activities of which said organisations would be heartily horrified.
However, you will see some ads on this blog for the Drinkers Alliance, to which I signed up some days ago after seeing them advertised at The Englishman's place. And it's not simply because I like a drink—after all, my over-fondness for drink has got me into some sticky situations in the past, as well as spelling the end (sooner or later) of almost every relationship that I've been in.
But, you see, that's my weakness: it is nothing to do with the drink itself and I certainly do not endorse curbs on the amount that anyone is allowed to drink, nor in the way in which they drink it. I mean, who do you think I am—Boris fucking Johnson?*
However, what really pisses me the fuck off about these stinking bastard politicos' attempts to curb our "binge drinking culture" is the rank hypocrisy of it all. Alll of them—Labour, Tory and LibDem—sit about talking about how terrible this drinking culture is; no doubt they discuss it earnestly in the bars of the Palace of Westminster...
... DRINKING BOOZE THAT IS SUBSIDISED BY OUR FUCKING TAXES.
I mean, seriously, how fucking dare they? How dare they steal our money with threats of violence, use it to subsidise their fucking wine cellars (to the tune of millions of pounds a year), and then tell us that we should have to pay more for our alcohol?
WHAT THE FUCKING FUCKITY FUCK-FUCK FUCK?
So fuck you, you corrupt fucking troughing pig-bastards; what the hell gives you the right to tell me how I should drink, where I should drink, what and how much I should drink?
Who the fuck do you think you are?
Who the fucking hell gave you the moral right to dictate to me, eh? Who the hell gave you the right to tell me how I should live any aspect of my life? Why don't you go and hang yourselves in shame, you shameless cunts, or suck on a shotgun? Why don't you save me a lot of bother?
Because, either you do it or, eventually, the British will rise up and do it for you—but we'll do it far more fucking painfully. Go on, end your worthless lives now, and make the world a better place.
And I'll drink to that.
* I do, of course, think that once anyone impinges on someone else's life, liberty or property, then they should, of course, be punished with the full force of the law—and no, being drunk should not be a mitigating factor.