Saturday, September 06, 2008

It's really not a fucking instruction manual, you cunts

Via the Libertarian Alliance blog, it seems that councils are recruiting those to whom small financial rewards mean the most—and who are not yet old enough to appreciate the hideousness of what they are doing—to snoop on their neighbours.
Children as young as eight have been recruited by councils to "snoop" on their neighbours and report petty offences such as littering, the Daily Telegraph can disclose.

The youngsters are among almost 5,000 residents who in some cases are being offered £500 rewards if they provide evidence of minor infractions.

One in six councils contacted by the Telegraph said they had signed up teams of "environment volunteers" who are being encouraged to photograph or video neighbours guilty of dog fouling, littering or "bin crimes".

The "covert human intelligence sources", as some local authorities describe them, are also being asked to pass on the names of neighbours they believe to be responsible, or take down their number-plates.

Ealing Council in West London said: "There are hundreds of Junior Streetwatchers, aged 8-10 years old, who are trained to identify and report enviro-crime issues such as graffiti and fly-tipping."

Harlow Council in Essex said: "We currently have 25 Street Scene Champions who work with the council. They are all aged between 11 to 14. They are encouraged to report the aftermath of enviro-crimes such as vandalism to bus shelters, graffiti, abandoned vehicles, fly-tipping etc. They do this via telephone or email direct to the council."

Look, I know that comparisons with Orwell's 1984 are becoming pretty de rigueur these days; however, I would like to remind you of the fact that, in said novel, Winston Smith's hapless neighbour, Parsons, was dobbed into the Thought Police by his own children after they heard him denouncing The Party in his sleep.

Draw your own conclusions...

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

So, local councils are the new Fagin?

mmm said...

The whole concept seems to disregard the personal danger to the intruding little shits, who may be subject to retribution.

Budgie said...

DK .. it is false to say you are paying for other people's children without acknowledging your own childhood costs.

Every adult has been a child and has therefore cost his parents and the state (ie the taxpayer) money. But over that child's lifetime, on average, he, like you, will pay taxes as an adult, thereby re-paying his costs as a child.

Otherwise as a nation we would get progressively poorer. We have in fact grown richer, so, on average, everyone contributes slightly more than they "cost" as a child.

When you retire you will again cost money. Both as a taxpayer and as a productive worker - via dividends - each adult (on average) will contribute to your upkeep. They will work "for you" in effect, as other adults did when you were a child.

envirocriminal said...

Isn't this illegal? Quite apart from producing a cadre of odious little prigs who will almost certainly get scragged on a regular basis by their less self-righteous contemporaries, how do underage professional informers become admissible witnesses?

And what the hell is an enviro-crime?

hangemallletgodsortemout said...

There's also a companion motivational video available for the 1984 training pack.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/They_Live

'I'm here to chew bubble gum and impose stealth taxes ... and I'm all out of bubble gum'

Miss Snuffleupagus said...

I'm not sure this isn't a good idea. Except that the behaviour police should also include adults. Once upon a time, this happened naturally. People in the community required good behaviour from those around them.

Just a moment ago, I saw this youngster throwing his chips out of his chicken box onto the pavement. He didn't want them. I pulled up the window and told him that he really ought to do that over a bin. I was nice. He was only abusive in return. My flatmate told me to get away from the window and to shut up and that next thing we would have a gang of kids out there after us. I refused. We all live in fear of those who break the law. We need to take the power back! Maybe behvaviour police is one way of doing it.

Robin said...

Find out who the kids report to and then hack the sex offenders register and put the names down as a peado.

Cyclefree said...

Challenge the penalty in court; a child of 8 cannot be a witness. The evidence of those to whom they report is pure hearsay and inadmissible. That will be the end of the matter.

Martin Meenagh said...

The irony of it all is that local councils seem to be able to find the wherewithal to suborn youths--but not to know where the 'recycled' material we are all forced to put out is going. According to their own Local government Association website, no one seems to know. A huge amount of it ends up in African landfills apparently. What is going on would be unbelievable--until you think about who local councillors are and what sort of companies they 'outsource' to. When you do, you can believe them capable of anything--including roping in kids to schemes like the one you've highlighted.

Anonymous said...

So councils are asking kids to phone them if they see fly tipping and graffiti so that it can be cleaned up.

Wow man! It's like totally a Police State!

This is how fascism started.

Allahs little helper said...

A warm welcome to the DDR reborn. Won't work in any case as all the eight year old crackwhores will be too busy stabbing other eight year old crackwhores to snitch on the bin stuffing smackheads next door.