Thursday, September 18, 2008

Can somebody please take this cunt outside and shoot him?

God help me.

You know when you read something that is just so appallingly, egregiously stupid that an involuntary drawn-out moan escapes your lips and you start to rock back and forth in your chair? I had just finished blogging about the Oily Fish wittering on like a complete imbecile about spivs and speculators, when Old Holborn moved in with another attempt to kill me by giving me a heart attack:

Short-selling of financial stocks is to be banned in the United Kingdom from midnight on Thursday night under rules drawn up by the Financial Services Authority.


WHAT THE FUCK?????????????

Have the FSA take fucking leave of their fucking senses???? Well, apparently they have:

Hector Sants, chief executive of the FSA, said: “While we still regard short-selling as a legitimate investment technique in normal market conditions, the current extreme circumstances have given rise to disorderly markets. As a result, we have taken this decisive action, after careful consideration, to protect the fundamental integrity and quality of markets and to guard against further instability in the financial sector.”


How are you going to protect the fundamental integrity by fucking with their normal operation you fucking morons? Personally, I don't think this has a fucking thing to do with "protecting the market" anyway: the only thing the market needs protection from is expedient cunts like Hector Sants who suck up to their political masters. I see in this fucking stupid knee-jerk cockmongery nothing other than the deft hand of Gorgon Brownshirt, desperately trying to shut down Alex Salmonella's implied support of a useless Scottish bank that should really be going out of business right about now.

If Gorgon Brownshirt really was all that, he'd have simply pointed out that Alex "The Fishface" Salmond was just an innumerate cunt who had no grasp of economics. But since Gorgon Brownshirt is actually just an incompetent fuck who got lucky and doesn't know shit about running a bath, instead we get this fucking moronic, lunatic imbecility.

I am so fucked off, I think I'm going to go and strangle the family cat. Anyway, if you see this cunt on the street, kick him in the balls and shit on his face for me, please.


A complete fucking spazticated cuntwaft of a fuckmongering cocktard, earlier

PS Read this.

28 comments:

xelent said...

Gordon Brownnose would be more apt for this statist turd...

Just another day at the statist office, busy justifying their fucked up existence...

Now where's that fucking cat?...

Oswald Bastable said...

Don't hold back on our account!

TJNewton said...

...Alex "The Fishface" Salmond was just an innumerate cunt who had no grasp of economics...

Don't want to be too pedantic, BUT, it seems that Alex Salmond does have some economic sense, since he and the FSA are selling the same line (yeah that will really 'shut down any implied support' if they back the same action, doh! - besides, what else is he going to do as FM other than support Scottish interests [interest in this case is certainly bigger than Scotland anyway]?). Perhaps, just maybe, possibly because he has some savvy, having been educated as and having worked as... guess what? An economist...

You must be mixing him up with another, who doesn't have an MA in Economics, who never worked as a civil servant economist and certainly one who never worked for the RBS as an economist.

Gareth said...

There was nothing wrong with HBOS, the FSA said so...

There was nothing in it for Lloyds TSB, they'll not abuse their monopoly...

There is nothing wrong with the fundament of the British Economy, but it needs protecting at all costs because of the nasty short sellers...

I cannot believe this is happening. Honestly. In the last 48 hours there has been little to no mention of:
1) The shareholders of either bank getting a say on this.(I trust in due course they will though.)
2) The Competition Commission and OFT have barely squeaked.
3) Whether the London Stock Exchange was aware of the high level merger talks that have apparently been going on between HBOS, Lloyds, HM Treasury and Gorgon Brown. Something clearly spooked the market on Tuesday. Too many cooks spoiled the broth.
4) What duties either board of directors had to their companies, shareholders and the LSE to admit the talks were taking place.
5) The suspicious timing of Robert Pesto's exclusive.(HBOS was tanking, he opened his gob and it staged a substantial recovering in under an hour. Did someone at Number 10 or 11 shit themselves and get on the 'phone?)
6) The secret liquidity scheme has been extended by 3 or four months.

It's all been done and dusted in a day. Some small child shook Eric Daniel's hand this morning and the deal was done. The law will be bent to Gordon's will. Procedures have been swept away just like that. This isn't a Tommy Cooper routine but it's beginning to look like one. Now they are cracking down on a practice that any competent and trustworthy business can readily withstand.

The problem for the banks is that no one believes them when they say they are well placed to weather the recession-that-we-can't-call-a-recession-it's-just-a-period-of-negative-growth. The reason why no one believes them is because they have been shown to be lying.

Old Holborn said...

Can't be long until exit visas, curfews and the State censor taking blogs offline

Anonymous said...

Please explain why shorting is good for the market.

Who gets any benefit other than the gambler doing the shorting?

Please--this is a genuine question.

Budgie said...

I would agree with you if this were normal times and HBoS was truly "a useless Scottish bank". Actually HBoS is half Scottish half Yorkshire (roughly) and it is a conservatively run bank.

But these are not normal times. The markets are rife with rumour, spivery and speculation that is at once baleful and random. Those firms being picked off are those that can be, not those which deserve to be.

The FSA are doing what they are told by McBroon. And his insanely low - CPI based - interest rate was the prime cause.

Old Holborn said...

Ready for another heart attack Obo?

"Labour now has an historic opportunity to seize the political high ground. The era of selfish individualism is on the wane. The electorate is increasingly concerned with social insurance, safeguarding living standards and ensuring social stability and ecological sustainability. From stranded holidaymakers to pension holders, to those falling ill, they are discovering that these collective goods are in dangerously short supply. The future will demand a more active and democratic state engaging with economic development and regulation. The redistribution of wealth and resources will be essential in rebalancing a dysfunctional economy."

John Cruddas MP

http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2008/sep/18/labour.economy

Out come the Marxists

archduke said...

bear in mind folks that a heck of a lot of pension funds have short positions - it helps them make money during a downturn.

in other words "hedging" their bets. most funds have both long and short positions. the balance is in whether the long positions are greater than the short or vice versa.

the difference is the profit a fund makes.

this is going to seriously fuck up the financial sector. watch for a exodus to off-shore havens.

seriously - if a Caman Islands brokerage buys a share in HBOS - who the fuck is going to stop them lending that share to a Florida shorter?

Old Holborn said...

anon

Shorters can spot a shit company when they see one and force down the price of over inflated stock.

This is a GOOD thing

Obnoxio The Clown said...

@anonymous: shorting shows that the market reckons a stock is over valued, in other words it provides a pricing signal.

Obnoxio The Clown said...

Ready for another heart attack Obo?

Just fuck off, OK?

Cunt.

archduke said...

"Who gets any benefit other than the gambler doing the shorting?

Please--this is a genuine question.

9/18/2008 08:42:00 PM"

shorting reveals something about that company that the CEO wont say. its happened time and time again. its a market mechanism for saying to the rest of us - that company is FUCKED.

also bear in mind that shorters lose a ton of money if the share rises. it works both ways.

by way of comparision , cash rich Apple or Exxon arent being mass shorted , are they?


also bear in mind that your pension fund will have both long (share price going up) and short positions (going down). it helps the fund hedge against fluctuations in the market. remove the short option and you are exposing funds to a shit load of risk.

watch for the exodus to more friendlier climes.

i'd hazard a guess that this intervention has just fucked the City big time and if its not overturned, then the City will no longer exist.

why bother trading in the City when the risks are higher than in short friendly Zurich or Dublin?

FrankFisher said...

This is a gross interference with property rights and the sanctity of contract - it's a fucking outrage. They must die.

Anonymous said...

I think I read somewhere the Yanks have also banned shorting for a short time. Haven't I?

So are they dick heads also?

Anonymous said...

Thinking about this further it occurs to me that there could be "good" shorting and " bad" shorting depending on the motives of the shorters, the degree of collusion between different parts of the market, and the importance to the country of the country they are trying to bring down.

Was HBOS good or bad?

Anonymous said...

Damn should say "company" they are trying to bring down

archduke said...

newsnight have confirmed the ban on short selling.

interesting factoid : one of the first things the Federal Government did after the crash of 1929 was to ban short selling.

John Pickworth said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dick Puddlecote said...

Bollocks! Just as I was counting my blessings from the Centrica luck, this comes along and obliterates my Pension and my kids' investments.

It would be a Hamlet moment but ...

Obnoxio The Clown said...

The problem with banning shorting is that it just keeps the poison in the system for a longer time.

FlipC said...

Interesting fact #2: Short selling was banned in England just after the Tulip bubble, and the South Sea Bubble; and in America after the Mississippi bubble.

Anyone spotting a pattern here?

To answer Anonymous's query - as has been stated the bears (short-sellers) act as indicators when something is over-valued. The trouble is when things turn self-prophesying.

A bears thinks the price is too high and starts short-selling, others pick-up on this and join in; people get worried and start selling their shares bringing the price down.

Now supposedly the price will hit a bottom point where everyone agrees that 'Yes indeed the company really is worth at least this much' which is when the bears start to pull out. Except when everyone's nervous and jumpy they'll just continue because they don't want to have 'worthless' stock left on their hands. Crash and burn.

In reality the bulls are as much to blame (if not more so) as they're the ones in whose interest it is to inflate prices beyond 'reality'.

In a perfect system the bulls drive the prices up while the bears rein them in and everyone's happy.

In this instance the bulls were given their head until even they could see they were in cloud-cuckoo land at which point everyone panicked.

Gareth said...

Getting the law changed is easy when you know the right people.

Lloyds TSB-HBOS Takeover Sealed After Brown Meeting in Palace

Is banning shorts a diversion from the utter shitstorm this deal ought to cause? Perhaps the FSA have jumped on the coat-tails of the Fed's rescue plan by hurridly announcing the ban on shorts. Makes 'em look like they're doing something pro-active I suppose.

Anonymous said...

".....he'd have simply pointed out that Alex "The Fishface" Salmond was just an innumerate cunt who had no grasp of economics."

Uh-huh. And your qualifications on the matter?

For the record, Salmond has a degree in economics, and was a professor for a short period. Career:

1978- 1980: Assistant Economist, Department of Agriculture and Fisheries for Scotland

1980-1982: Assistant Economist, Royal Bank of Scotland

1982-1984: Oil Economist, Royal Bank of Scotland

1984- 1987: Oil Economist and Bank Economist, Royal Bank of Scotland

Anonymous said...

I'm no finance whizz but AIUI there are two types of short selling, normal (where the shorter has access to the shares he dealing in) and naked (where the shorter doesn't).
Naked shorting allows the shorter to take what almost appears to be a no lose gamble. If the share price does go down then he wins. If the shares do not drop then the shorter gets to back out of the deal within 3 days of making with no penalty (there is a 3 day window to allow for mistakes).
In the meantime the share price takes account of the trade and shows a number of shares being sold at a reduced price having the effect of depressing the share price further. The net effect, if there are enough shares "traded" this way if for the gamble to turn into a self fulfilling prophecy.
Another twist is that those shorters actually having access to the shares they are using can, in effect, reuse the same set of shares in multiple short trades,
AIUI naked short selling is technically against the rules buts its very difficult to discover so no one actually tries.
But, then again, I know bugger all about the markets.

Umbongo said...

Salmond might be a wonderful economist but he's also a politician with all the slime that goes with it. Alex is even worse than Gordo because - as an expert in economic matters - Alex knows when he's talking crap. As a fifth-rate historian Gordo knows nothing about economics - or history for that matter.

Anonymous said...

"For the record, Salmond has a degree in economics, and was a professor for a short period."

Economists are almost[1] the very last people you should listen to about economics; how many economists have predicted the current shit-storm, which was almost inevitable at least as far back as 2005?

Most of them have been saying 'the world is all wonderful, buy a studio flat for eight times your annual income because prices will double in the next five years'; you've had to go to web forums and blogs to see people talking about what a colossal shit-hurricane was about to hit us.

[1] The only people less likely to tell you anything useful about economics are politicians, or, God forbid, politicians who studied economics.

Anonymous said...

"For the record, Salmond has a degree in economics, and was a professor for a short period."

In that case he must be a liar (or a Keynesian, ie a poor economist!). Thanks for clearing that up.