Monday, August 18, 2008

The loneliness of the long distance runner...

Have you tried running a shorter distance at all...?

I got to my car this morning and found that the front passenger window had been smashed in; in fact, all of the cars on the street had been jemmied open one way and another, and at least one house had been burgled. I think that it's about time that we brought back the stocks, frankly.

What with the insurance company claiming that the damage from the previous accident made the car a write-off (and thus refusing to pay for the repairs), this whole car-owning lark is turning out to be fucking irritating.

Fucking hell, I hate people.

26 comments:

rob said...

I'm sure an idiot like Neil Harding will be along soon to tell you that, as a Libertarian, you should support the right of people to smash up other people's cars.

Old Holborn said...

On the plus side, if the Police actually catch the culprit of thousands and thousands of pounds worth of damage, the grass at the old people's home will get cut once this summer as he does his "community service" and repays his debt to society.

Personally speaking, I would demand that he repay every penny by having to suck Aids infested cocks all day for years on end and then his body be rendered down for bonemeal.

I would like to see more Judges being stabbed, raped, mugged and burgled. Give it time.

knirirr said...

Are the insurers paying up for a replacement rather than a repair? Or, have they refused to pay up at all?

Mark Wadsworth said...

That's one of the many reasons why I refused to own a car while I lived in London Zone 3.

Now I've done the White Flight and have my own driveway for parking, car ownership has become a lot less burdensome.

xelent said...

Oh dear DK,

My deepest sympathies...

You are dead right about the recompense... It has a decidedly nil effect on there life... I've never understood why when they force everyone to do everything else with a gun.. Grubby little turds like this are given a broom and told to behave themselves in future... The rest of us are left to pay for it...

I recall a brand new bike I bought out of my own wages at 19 (almost a months earnings at the time) was stolen from my garage... The Police found it eventually, only the frame was left mind. Everything else presumably sold off for fags and booze… They told me I couldn't charge him because he was a minor (15 as I recall).. Oh cool I thought 2 months use and 1 months wages down the pan… And he gets a caution....

Mr Free Market said...

DK, you need to cool your boots. I see in the press "Just call me Dave" is going to champion a social revolution when he gets in.

So there you have it ... everything will be OK.

In the meantime, forget the stocks...string the little scumbag up

Tomrat said...

Chris,

Feel for you buddy really do - round my parts someone vandalises a car/steals a bike/assaults a child if they are found then a little texas justice comes into play; I dont approve of this mind, but when Leeds Crown Court refuses to do anything concrete with these scrotelets and you see their extended "family" outside in cheap £30 stolen-from-Primark suits smoking L&Bs you cant really blame them.

Incidentally my brothers bike was stolen a month back, someone tried to kidnap his dog (a growing problem so I've heard) and my church was vandalised badly this month despite after a refit (doors painted, drainage repaired etc); stocks aren't looking so bad...

Kay Tie said...

"round my parts someone vandalises a car/steals a bike/assaults a child if they are found then a little texas justice comes into play"

What happens if the perp is a child? Does Texas Justice get classified as assaulting a child, resulting in Texas Justice for the person dishing out the Texas Justice? And what if the person dishing out the Texas Justice were a child too? Does the Texas Justice for dishing out Texas Justice to a child result in Texas Justice for the person that dished out the Texas Justice for dishing out Texas Justice to a child?

I think I'll stick with the official justice system, thanks all the same.

Old Holborn said...

Bloke round my way will do anyone for £500 cash. They simply vanish.

He has a mate who has a fishing boat and is always looking for bait for the lobster pots.

pond life said...

"Fucking hell, I hate people."

Ever considered joining the Green Party?

HSLD said...

" Won't somebody pleeeeze think of the children ? "

Where I used to live if it was a kid being an arsehole ( as in a proper kid, not some 6 foot tall 15 year old ) then you would teach the parents a lesson instead.
Don't think it would work for a minute on a proper chav estate, but it certainly prevented the chavs getting a foothold in our decent working class part of the town.
One house a few doors down from me was forever being rented out by the housing association owners to underclass scum, so I adopted the policy that whenever they made my life unpleasant I would return the favour by smashing all their downstairs windows with a pickaxe handle.
Eventually the housing association got fed up with buying new windows and rented to Polish workers instead, who are no trouble ( unless they come home drunk and leave the chip pan on, but that's another story )

Mac the Knife said...

'I would like to see more Judges being stabbed, raped, mugged and burgled. Give it time'

I was looking for something to fill out next weekend. Draw the line at raping 'em though...

Sam Tarran said...

Damn. And I thought Vince in Pulp Fiction made it clear you don't mess with another man's automobile.

Tomrat said...

kay tie,

In answer to your question I would ask what you think qualifies as a "child"? I remember drugs, drinking and tomfoolery, but I certainly dont remember theft, violence and vandalism; this aint harkening back to the old days just a snap-shot of what people have to cope with and how its jolly well changed.

As it happens the few families who have had career criminals just out of romper suits tend to get moved into Beeston and Middleton - which is a hell of a lot worse than my burb. I wouldn't wish that on anyone, believe me.

JuliaM said...

"On the plus side, if the Police actually catch the culprit of thousands and thousands of pounds worth of damage, the grass at the old people's home will get cut once this summer..."

Oooh, I don't know. They might, but only if the risk assessment is completed properly...

nightjack said...

If I was working in the buying department of B&Q Homebase etc. I would be placing large orders for pitchforks and lots of those lovely bamboo(ish) garden torches. Some drums of tar and do-it-yourself duvet stuffing kits might not go amiss either.

I am amazed that the angry mob isn't being formed all over the country. I think it is only a matter of time before we start finding blackened, be-feathered ne'er do wells with placards round their necks on a very regular basis.

Trixy said...

You could try living in a nicer part of London. Like, er, Hampshire?

Mark Wadsworth said...

I hope everybody' bears JuliaM's risk assessment procedures in mind when they are actually using these gibbets, pitchforks, sharpened cockroaches etc.

Budgie said...

If your car is a write off do not take the first offer from the insurance company

Did you get legal cover? If so, the solicitor may be able to recover your excess, if the accident was not your fault.

Have a look at Honest John's site.

Obnoxio The Clown said...

All I can do is offer my sympathy. And my fervent wishes that the scrote in question dies a slow and painful death.

Thud said...

I once caught car robber plying his trade outside my home...he may have accidently stabbed himself in the head with his screwdriver...Happy happy!

electro-kevin said...

The guv'ment seem to think we all WANT to own cars. We most certainly don't. I for one would love not to need a motor.

David Gillies said...

I don't own a car - don't need to as I live five minutes on foot from my office and a ten mile taxi ride only costs a fiver. On the other hand, I am comforted no end by the fact that were I to acquire one, I could keep it in locked offroad parking under the beady eye of an ex-Contra more than willing to cut any thieving toerags in half with his shotgun.

Sim-O said...

knirirr: Are the insurers paying up for a replacement rather than a repair?

How the fuck do you repair a smashed window?

My mate's old banger got nicked one night, much to our surprise. What was even more surprising was it was returned then next night, without a mark on it.

Jolly Roger said...

Fuck the stocks, what's wrong with the noose?

The Shadow Chocolate Orange Inspector said...

This is where guns come in handy, darling. This would never, never, never, never happen in Texas. Louts are stupid, but they are smart enough to know every householder may be a gun-owner the householder will not be charged for using his gun in defence of his property.

You British have allowed yourselves to be at the mercy of your government. Which fails to protect you and your property.

The point of a governmen is to protect a country's borders. OK. So nul points there. And to maintain civil order. Failed.