Monday, July 07, 2008

Wasted Brown

Right, that's it: I've decided that I don't want Gordon Brown to be voted out. Nope.

I want him stretched star-form on the ground, with ropes attached to his arms and legs, whereupon he will be very slowly and excruciatingly torn apart by a quartet of extraordinarily lazy mules*. On valium.

His head—which will be kept alive through the wonder of modern technology (imported from the USA, since we don't invent anything in this country these days)—will then be used as a football in a five-a-side game played by over-enthusiastic midgets wearing steel-toecapped cricket boots; a game that only ends when the ball bursts apart like a gory watermelon, in a spray of blood and cranial matter, after a particularly hard hoofing from "Big Mac" McDonald, the roughest midget from Glasgow's Maryhill; Big Mac is renowned for wearing nothing but a kilt thus ensuring that the Gobblin' King's last conscious sight is that of a Glaswegian midget's massive, hairy, ginger knackers. And his cock.

Then, of course, the various bits of his body will be rendered down into soap and glue so that—for the very first time in his miserable, useless, incompetent, worthless life—the vicious old puritan will actually be of some use to someone, somewhere. Probably in the Third World, where the soap made from his face-fat will be used—in between her servicing of sweaty, long-distance truck drivers—to scrub away the vaginal discharge from the foetid minge of a thirty-eight year old, AIDS-infected prostitute. With scurvy. And a cold.

Because, how else can I possibly describe my contempt for Brown's latest piece of fuck-arsed pontificating?
Gordon Brown is urging British consumers to stop wasting food amid growing concerns over the sharply rising cost of basic necessities.
...

A Downing Street aide said: "The paper argues that we need to take action to reduce food waste…In the UK, recent estimates suggest that households could save up to an average of £420 per household every year by not throwing away a total of 4.1 million tones of food that could have been eaten."

Oh, do fuck off. You arseholes have been campaiging against packaging—which helps to protect food and make it last—and now you are campaigning... Oh, just fuck off.
Today's Cabinet Office study calls into question the growing of biofuels which has recently been encouraged to help reduce the reliance on fossil fuels. However, the Cabinet Office analysis concludes that "the risk of biofuel policies could exacerbate global food price increases over the coming decade."

Could? Could? Are you fucking blind, you fucking morons? It already has (via Bishop Hill).
Biofuels have forced global food prices up by 75% — far more than previously estimated — according to a confidential World Bank report obtained by the Guardian. The damning unpublished assessment is based on the most detailed analysis of the crisis so far, carried out by an internationally-respected economist at global financial body.

These people are now deliberately ignoring the cold, hard facts that are staring them in the face. And have been for months. They should be beaten with barbed wire. Seriously.
The Prime Minister is today due to arrive in Japan for the G8 summit and rising food prices figure prominently on the agenda.

Mr Brown will call for the creation of a new international panel of experts – mirroring a similar panel for climate change – which will examine long-term trends in food supplies and offer advice to individual countries.

Mirroring the one on climate change? Won't that be fucking ironic, eh? Since it is the measures taken to combat the phantom scare of climate change that has led to the rise in food prices: I do hope that the "new international panel of experts" is rather more successful—and has a rather better grip of supply and demand economics and the potentially tragic unintended consequences of attempting to piss about with economies—than the climate change panel has been. Oh, and I hope that they lie a little less too.

As for the food waste... well, I'll let Jackart sum up.
If I managed my food like you manage my taxes I’d be catapulting frozen turkeys out of the house in a quantity sufficient to make SW12 look like it was at the receiving end of some sort of biblical plague. So don’t lecture me on anything you’re not capable of doing yourself.

Quite. Bring on the drugged mules and the speed-freak, footballing midgets. You know it makes sense...

UPDATE: ChickenYoghurt's on form...
Can instructions on how to wipe your bottom properly be very far away?
...

The thing is, in effect, it’s been Brown who’s told us up until now to be so wasteful. It’s all the money we’ve been squittering for the last ten years that’s propped up his so-called economic miracle. And now he’s telling us to ignore his previous advice and get used to the good times being over. No return to boom and bust, eh Gordon?

Quite. It is worth remembering that whilst the Labour government has berated us for our high levels of personal debt—whilst at the same time encouraging us all to spend, spend, spend for the good of the economy—Gordon Brown has put us all in hock right up to the fucking eyeballs.

The man is a fucking wankshaft and should be punched in the face repeatedly by every taxpayer in the country before the mules and midgets are brought onto the scene...

* Mules are, of course, sterile because of a chromosome mismatch between the donkey and horse parents; one could say that mules are, in fact, crippled. Not only are the mules symbolic of the sterility engendered by the Gobblin' King's fucked-up socialist policies, but they could also be seen—by someone who is deeply sick, hem-hem—as a comment on the success of Gordon's own breeding programme.

UPDATE: obviously, I have misjudged the amusement value of the above comment. And whilst I would have thought that those who got excited about a passing comment referring to Gordon's progeny might also have some problem with me demanding that Brown be torn apart and his head used as a football (by midgets), apparently this is not the case.

As some way of making recompense, I have taken the standard government line and—instead of giving money to specialist schools and mental health wards—I have decided to enroll myself in a re-education programme.

As some people reading this blog appear to share similar views to my own, i.e. our empathy with the human race in general is pretty damn small, I have decided to share the organ of my enlightenment.

As such, ladies and gentlemen, I present you (via Trixy) with the memoirs of "a real life special education teacher": Tard-Blog.

I have been reading it avidly and it is only a matter of time before I, too, love Big Brother children that I don't know from Adam everywhere equally.

UPDATE 2: I wonder if anyone remember that old rhyme, "sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me"? Perhaps this commenter does, for whilst I employed mere words...
I won't ignore you though. Can I come and meet you so you can tell me I'm inferior because I have disabled child. I also have friend whose child died very young so i can bring him too if you like and you can express your feelings to our faces? Do your views on this subject extend to the degree that you'll meet us to talk about it?

Uh huh. Yup, it's the thinly veiled physical threat. I wonder if he and his friend would actually have sticks and stones? I suppose that those pieces of weaponry are a big out of date now: knives are rather more the norm, no? Do we think that Andy and his friend would like to prove their point by disabling me, killing me or just hurting me?

Ironically, long-time readers will know that I have some considerable experience in caring for the disabled; I (perhaps naively) believe that I have actively helped people, rather than believing that merely taking offence (or offering confrontation with hints of violence) will in some way better their plight.

It's a strange world that we live in, eh?

58 comments:

Mark Wadsworth said...

Ah yes, but we'll need that extra £8 a week to cover the planned £5.59 increase in weekly fuel bills.

Letters From A Tory said...

I have no idea what Brown was thinking when he decided to tell us off for eating too much. I have three words to sum up my position on the global food crisis: common - agricultural - policy. That is where the problems and solutions to the world food shortage lie.

Old Holborn - bitter and twisted said...

He flew to the G8 Summit in a private jet. Cost = $500,000.

Kirsty said...

Myself and my foppish flatmate did a double-take at the radio when we heard that bit of bloody nonsense from Brown. Why doesn't he pop round to advise me on how I should be cooking a roast or scrubbing a pan while he's at it? Useless tit of a man.

By the way, many Edinburgh chaps and chappesses keep asking if you'll be heading northwards for any sort of Festival fun in August. Are you?

Old Holborn - bitter and twisted said...

I can see the next move.

A "food waste bin", rigorously monitored by the council Stasi (at massive cost) and a tax on crunchy sprouts spat out by ungrateful citizens.

Prepare yourselves for a food tax

"If you're going to waste it, ZNL will make sure it all goes to a good cause"

Doesn't he do the same with Petrol?

Daniel said...

As usual when I read this blog, I was delighting in the invective. You had me completely onside. Couldn't agree more....

...right up-to that last paragraph.

Come on DK, his kids. WTF?! His dead kid and his CF kid.... that's beneath you, man. Really beneath you.

Rumbold said...

Disgusting comment about his children. I expect a lot better. You should apologise.

leg-iron said...

Tax on food? Surely not?

Although they've already started referring to 'binge eating' (http://leg-iron.livejournal.com/24424.html - sorry about the plug, the original link stopped working) so that does give them the option to legislate 'for our own good'.

Meanwhile, they get fatter...and we pay for it.

Old Holborn - bitter and twisted said...

Daniel, Rumbold.

It was suicide.

Devil's Kitchen said...

Daniel, Rumbold,

Self-confessed sick minds, I see. I might have been referring to his State Podding Hutches -- sorry, Surestart...

Y'know, strangely I see very little sympathy for the "scrotes" and "hoodies" who are brought up by scummy parents; and yet Gordo's get a free ride? Is it because they is disabled, or whatever?

Oh, and come on; after the fate that I've wished on Gordon, a simple implication about the unfortunate fact of his children's bad luck is suddenly "beneath me"?

Oh won't someone think of the chiiiiiiiildren? Bleugh.

DK

Rumbold said...

Devil's Kitchen:

"Self-confessed sick minds, I see. I might have been referring to his State Podding Hutches -- sorry, Surestart..."

Why does the Wikipedia link go to a piece about Gordon Brown's family then?

"Y'know, strangely I see very little sympathy for the "scrotes" and "hoodies" who are brought up by scummy parents; and yet Gordo's get a free ride? Is it because they is disabled, or whatever?"

I don't see the connection between the two. Being disabled isn't a crime.

"Oh, and come on; after the fate that I've wished on Gordon, a simple implication about the unfortunate fact of his children's bad luck is suddenly "beneath me"?"

Yes. It is one thing to attack the prime minister, but making snide remarks about how one of his children died and about how another is disabled is just wrong. You owe him an apology.

Devil's Kitchen said...

"Yes. It is one thing to attack the prime minister, but making snide remarks about how one of his children died and about how another is disabled is just wrong."

Why? I am mocking his inability to produce healthy children in the same way that I am mocking his inability to manage this country's economy.

Or is Gordon not actually anything to do with producing his children?

Fuck him.

I feel sorry for the children (though I would still feel sorry for them in any case: they have to grow up with that for a father), but I fail to see what the hell the kids have to do with this at all.

Besides, if Gordo really gave a crap, you might think that he would be spending more time with his children rather than fucking up the lives of everyone else's.

DK

Devil's Kitchen said...

P.S. I don't think that you really get that I really fucking loathe the man: his policies are screwing up families and fucking over other children: his policies directly impact on the lives of others.

Therefore, he is fair game across the board.

DK

Vlad the Impala said...

Also his comments ignore the idiocy of EU regulation that force perfectly good food to be thrown away because (in the most recent example) it was a whopping 1cm below EU standards for...kiwi fruit.

Vlad the Impala said...

Brussels bureaucrat stopped a grocer from selling a batch of kiwi fruits – because EU rules say they are a millimetre too small.
The guy had to pay £100 to dump the 5,000 perfectly edible fruits which have failed size and weight standards brought in under European regulations.

They wouldn't let him give them away, either. I can think of several other uses....

kris said...

Great piece DK. Is it too much to as for that snot eating, deluded fuckwit, who is our unelected primeminister to sort his own fucking house out (i.e greedy mp's, waste of public monies millenium dome etc, government projects running hopelessly over budget, (eurofighter, NHS IT project, Olympics) before he has the gaul to lecture us on prudence? What about telling the fat fuckwit who was previously deputy pm that he shouldn't waste food by vomiting up?? Where does he get the idea that he has any moral highground to lecture the public on how they should run their lives?

P.s for my thoughts him and his ilk should be infected with CDifficile and forced to lie in one of their shitty underfunded hospital beds whilst the millions of NHS managers run around explaining that they are to busy to come and help him. Or maybe i haope he gets fungating nob rot and his prick and balls drop off

Mark Wadsworth said...

The comment about his kids is perfectly valid, actually.

Firstly it is true.

Secondly it ties with in one of my pet theories that gay men are less likely to have healthy children - nature goes out its way to ensure that a small % of men are freed up from family life to devote themselves to arts, science and warfare, the whole point is that gay men aren't supposed to even want to have children. And also my pet theory that he is still in the closet.

Thirdly, this may well be a partial cause of the Goblin One's self-loathing and hatred for society in general.

Finally, his nanny-statists are forever telling us what to do and what not to do, his own propagandists have now jumped on the "children of older fathers are more likely to have problems" bandwagon so he ought to bloody well ought to have practiced what his minions preach.

Mark Wadsworth said...

or should that he "practised"?

Sacerdote said...

I'm with DK on this one. The one-eyed twat (see what I did, I insulted something else he can't help) is obviously from the shallow end of the gene pool. We need to know these things.

Anyway, we could probably solve much of the food crisis just by eating the politicians, starting with Gordo.

windy blow said...

What I most detest about a wanker like Broon is he's yet another useless fart, equipped only with a standard, pointless response to everything.

We have a problem, so the answer is... yes, that's it! Form a committee! Let's have another panel of "experts" to meet in sunny places and living in good hotels all paid for by the public... that will solve it, surely!

These people can take their time producing a hefty "report" which will blame anything (start with AGW, move on to Oil, taking in nasty capitalism and right wingers on the way) and apportion blame... except not to the people who pay the wages of course.

Of course, the Broons of this world could do something else but that might work, so let's go with the panel idea instead. Now, what shall we call them? Goodness, this one will take sometime to work out...

Food United Consultative Key Expert Delegation? Hmmm, has a certain ring to it...

Old Holborn - bitter and twisted said...

"What I most detest about a wanker like Broon is he's yet another useless fart, equipped only with a standard, pointless response to everything."

What I detest about Brown is that he hasn't been kidnapped, arse raped by an aids infected gorilla, had his scrotum fed to live pigs, acid poured down his slack jawed throat, his knob shaved off with a ladyshave and immac, a cheese grater and a housebrick and his lungs ripped out by a rabid goat whilst a large black transvestite shows him his own still beating heart, whilst shitting tapeworm infested tours into his one good eye

Still, two more years eh?

Rumbold said...

Devil's Kitchen:

"Why? I am mocking his inability to produce healthy children in the same way that I am mocking his inability to manage this country's economy."

You really can't see the difference between the two? Honestly? You are supposed to be director of communications for the UKLP aren't you?

"I fail to see what the hell the kids have to do with this at all."

You brought them up by linking to a piece on his family.

"I don't think that you really get that I really fucking loathe the man: his policies are screwing up families and fucking over other children: his policies directly impact on the lives of others.

Therefore, he is fair game across the board."

His policies should certainly come in for a great deal of criticism. But mocking disabled and dead children is so far across the Rubicon that it is beyond a joke. If you really can't see that there should be a dividing line between the two then you need to take a long hard look at yourself.

what are the odds on Labour finishing forth or fifth in Glasgow East said...

...but

I wish DK would come off the fence regarding Brown.

Don't mince your words, just for once tell us where you stand.

Ian_QT said...

Stop Wasting Food, Urges Brown

Ian_QT said...

@rumbold: I find it quite amusing that after a post in which DK has called for Gordon Brown to be "slowly and excruciatingly torn apart", his head kicked around until it "bursts apart like a gory watermelon" and more, you want him to apologise for one snarky link to Wikipedia at the end.

Rumbold said...

Ian_qt:

I think that most people indulge in such fantasies about our rulers. But the reference to his children is just bang out of order. I am sure that you wouldn't write something like that.

Ian_QT said...

No, I wouldn't write something like that - it's not my style. Just thought it was funny that you objected to that and not to everything else!

Anonymous said...

Old Holborn hasn't that nice Mr Millitwat already said something about a slops bucket in every household?

Soddball said...

Won't somebody think of the children!

Jeez, rumbold, get over yourself. I wished death upon a fat chav mum and her fat chav children this afternoon after she clipped my side with the back of her motorised chav chair. I hoped that the chair would short-circuit, dragging chav mum and chavlings into a 30mph head-on collision with a passing digger.

Maybe that means that you're a better person than DK and I. If that is so, you should revel in it, for I giveth not a shit.

John A said...

There is a better reason to refrain from throwing out food, whether "edible" or waste. Bi-weekly pickup, in some areas soon to be monthly. Unless, of course, you believe flies and such should be encouraged,

But this year it might not be as bad, since summer is over -
*Summer Disappears*

Or your six-month-old could be prosecuted for a racist crime if crying when introduced to someone new -
*We're all racist*
It told nursery teachers, playgroup leaders and childminders to record and report every racist incident involving children as young as three.


These could include saying 'Yuk' about unfamiliar food.

Even babies should not be ignored in the hunt for racism because they can 'recognise different people in their lives', a new guide for nurseries and child care centres said.


Oh yes, and once again criminals are let off with a warning while a hero is facing prosecution -
*Leave Criminals To Get On With It*

Rumbold said...

Soddball:

"I wished death upon a fat chav mum and her fat chav children this afternoon after she clipped my side with the back of her motorised chav chair. I hoped that the chair would short-circuit, dragging chav mum and chavlings into a 30mph head-on collision with a passing digger."

Charming.

leg-iron said...

Rumbold;

You seem to be trying to instil feelings of guilt here.

Don't you get it? After a decade of being told we have to feel guilty for everything that's happened, is happening or will happen, most of this country's population is now immune to guilt.

You're going to be horrified at what you read here and on other blogs, but that's how it is. It's how this government made it. It's how the young think too because that's how they've been taught. Guilt with everything. Eventually guilt becomes irrelevant. Children now stab each other in the street and feel not a shred of remorse.

And you know what?

I, for one, find I am no longer able to care at all. I'm all guilted out.

Devil's Kitchen said...

Rumbold,

You really can't see the difference between the two? Honestly? You are supposed to be director of communications for the UKLP aren't you?

Yawny-yawny yawn-yawn. What's that supposed to be?

No, Rumbold, your humble Devil is not the Director of Comms for LPUK: Chris Mounsey is.

"His policies should certainly come in for a great deal of criticism. But mocking disabled and dead children is so far across the Rubicon that it is beyond a joke."

There is no such thing as beyond a joke. Absolutely nothing. Zip, zilch, nada. Capisce?

Neither you nor Brown have the right not to be offended: if you are offended, you have the right not to read my writing.

You don't, however, have the right to try to foist your pathetic petite bourgeois morals on me.

I am not mocking disabled or dead children. Even if I were, the dead one wouldn't know about it, would it? Or do you think he's there in heaven, looking down and weeping at the evil of The Devil?

Strangely, I doubt that the disabled one knows anything about it either.

But, as I said, I am not mocking them: I am mocking their progenitor. Well, "mocking" is really too light a term, but you get the picture.

And does an illness make someone immune to mocking? Should I not mock Brown's lack of vision? Perhaps Hitler should not be excoriated because of his painful gut disease?

I've known some crippled people in my time (and wiped their bottoms) who were still evil little bastards.

"If you really can't see that there should be a dividing line between the two then you need to take a long hard look at yourself."

Oh, don't patronise me, you arse. Save it for someone who gives a shit. Or someone who prefers to rely solely on empathy to guide their actions. Whatever.

Take your attempted curbs on free speech and some them somewhere I wouldn't want to put my cock.

DK

Old Holborn said...

Rumbold.

Google "Iraq terror"

Then tell us we are being unreasonable in disliking our current unelected leader.

Personally speaking, I would happily drown the entire Brown family in acid, shit in the resulting sloppy mess and spoon feed it to the 9 million people who voted for New Labour.

After passing it through Sellafield a few times.

That's the way we feel these days. Be thankful (I'm not) that you have not seen Ceausescu-esque scenes in the UK yet. Be thankful that we have not yet seen Serbian or Croatian massacres here. It was only sixty years ago we really were hanging politicians from lamp posts in Europe. The rage that caused it then could easily be the rage that causes it now. We were quite capable of hanging Saddam and if push comes to shove, we are quite capable of hanging Brown.

He needs to remember that. We are after all, supposed to be his boss. I'd give him a rope P45

Rumbold said...

Leg-iron:

"You seem to be trying to instil feelings of guilt here."

I am criticising Devil's Kitchen. What is wrong with that?

Devil's Kitchen:

"No, Rumbold, your humble Devil is not the Director of Comms for LPUK: Chris Mounsey is."

Er...

"Neither you nor Brown have the right not to be offended: if you are offended, you have the right not to read my writing.

You don't, however, have the right to try to foist your pathetic petite bourgeois morals on me."

So I don't have the right to criticise you? Why not?

"And does an illness make someone immune to mocking?"

No, but there is such a thing as bad taste.

"Take your attempted curbs on free speech and some them somewhere I wouldn't want to put my cock."

Nice to see your complete ignorance regarding freedom of speech. Freedom of speech gives you the right to say what you want, but it all gives me the right to say what I want. The two are not mutually exclusive.

Old Holborn:

"Then tell us we are being unreasonable in disliking our current unelected leader."

I didn't say don't criticise Gordon Brown. I criticise Gordon Brown all the time. I'm a member of the Libertarian Party. But there is a difference between mocking a prime minister and making fun of the fact that he has disabled and dead children.

Devil's Kitchen said...

Rumbold,

"Er..."

The Devil is a persona. Get it? Or do you imagine that I talk like this all the time?

"So I don't have the right to criticise you? Why not?"

Yes, you do. But, as I've already pointed out, my morals are not yours.

"No, but there is such a thing as bad taste."

Again, your taste is not mine. Taste, like morals, is an entirely personal thing.

"Nice to see your complete ignorance regarding freedom of speech. Freedom of speech gives you the right to say what you want, but it all gives me the right to say what I want. The two are not mutually exclusive."

You are quite correct, of course. My bad.

But comments such as "... but making snide remarks about how one of his children died and about how another is disabled is just wrong. You owe him an apology" and "... mocking disabled and dead children is so far across the Rubicon that it is beyond a joke. If you really can't see that there should be a dividing line between the two then you need to take a long hard look at yourself" might have led me to believe that you were comparing your personal opinion with actual fact and, having connected the two, were ordering me to change/apologise, etc.

I realise now that you were simply expressing your own personal prejudices and didn't mean to traduce, denigrate or shame me in any way.

DK

Devil's Kitchen said...

P.S. "But there is a difference between mocking a prime minister and making fun of the fact that he has disabled and dead children."

There is also a very slight but inportant difference between making fun of the fact that a prime minister has disabled and dead children, and pointing out that the prime minister has managed to produce -- two times out of three -- a disabled or dead child.

It's a subtle difference, I'll concede, but it is a difference nonetheless.

DK

leg-iron said...

"You seem to be trying to instil feelings of guilt here."

I am criticising Devil's Kitchen. What is wrong with that?




Nothing at all wrong with criticising the arguments and/or comments of those you disagree with. That's not the same as attempting to instil guilt in your opponent in that argument. My point concerned the attempted 'guilt trip', not your criticism, which is something we should all be free to do.

For example:

Disgusting comment about his children. I expect a lot better.

Sounds to me like a perfectly valid criticism. You don't agree with that part of the post, you found it distateful, and said so.

You should apologise.

That's not criticism. That's insisting someone else adopt your moral stance and act accordingly. You did it again later.

It's just the way I see it (I'm not a member of this or any other party, by the way, so have no political mileage to gain) and maybe it's not what you meant. That is, however, how it appeared.


Please don't come back with 'So, you agree that it is acceptable to insult his children?' because I don't care about his children. There are six billion people in the world and if I start worrying about ones I've never met then I'll end up as the helpless human wreckage the PC lot want me to be.

So I'll state it now. I don't care about anyone, or their children, being offended.

They are only words, and there are far worse things than insults happening to children these days.

Ed Balls, for one.

Andy said...

DK - I have a disabled child simply becuase I carry a recessive gene which causes a disability and so did the childs mother which led to a 1 in 4 chance of a disabled child. The actual over all odds were 70,000 to 1 that I would have had a disabled child. It is likely that even you, DK, have defective but recessive genes like most of the population. It is simply a matter of chance if a child is disabled or not and nothing to do with homosexuality, or political leanings. I genuinely hope that it doesn't happen to anyone in your family.

Freedom of speech is a right in this country and you use it to the full. The truth is that you can hide behind this blog and type what you like safe in the knowledge that you won't be made to pay for your remarks. This is because the people you crassly and unjustly insult will ignore you.

I won't ignore you though. Can I come and meet you so you can tell me I'm inferior because I have disabled child. I also have friend whose child died very young so i can bring him too if you like and you can express your feelings to our faces? Do your views on this subject extend to the degree that you'll meet us to talk about it?

I'm no Gordon Brown fan by any means and I'm not defending his politics but being a decent person I can tell the difference between right and wrong.

You clearly have no empathy and no idea of what it is actually like to bring up a disabled child or lose a child. What you display is mindless violence of the word. It has the equivalence of a street stabbing - no thought for the victim or thier family or the damage done.

You owe every parent of a disabled or dead child an apology.

Devil's Kitchen said...

Uh huh; I knew that we'd get the slightly threatening comment from the guy citing personal circumstances eventually.

Are you Gordon Brown? No. Good.

Like leg-iron, I have little empathy for those I haven't met. I have met a lot of disabled people: as I said, I have wiped their bottoms, fed them, joked with them about their disability. I really don't need any lectures from you or anyone else on this topic.

An apology? What is an apology going to achieve, precisely? Will it make you feel any less offended? Will it even make life easier for you and your child?

OK, I'm sorry that you have a disabled child. I'm not sorry for the Gordon Brown comment.

I do really, really hope that you got just as het-up when Gordo decided to remove the funding from all of the specialist schools. And removed funding from mental health centres, etc. etc.

The trouble is with you people is that you seriously think that I know nothing about this issue.

I do.

Your mistake is to think that I imagine that anything is off limits.

I dream up sick deaths and scenarios for Gordo, and a load of other NuLabour politicians, and there's not a peep from anyone. In fact, you claim to find it amusing (which it is).

And then I make a passing comment about his unfortunate children and suddenly you are calling on me to apologise to disabled children everywhere.

It's ever so slightly hypocritical.

"I'm no Gordon Brown fan by any means and I'm not defending his politics but being a decent person I can tell the difference between right and wrong."

Yes, I bet you do. You can tell the difference between your right and wrong. Why is this such a difficult concept to grasp?

I'll throw names, sure. But hurt someone physically: no.

It's because I can see the difference between the two, do you see?

"Sticks and stones will break my bones, but names will never hurt me."

And I owe you nothing. The person who owes you, one who has done you hurt -- the person who has withdrawn money from facilities that would help you and your child -- is Gordon Brown.

I know what I believe and I also know that actions speak an awful lot louder than words.

DK

Devil's Kitchen said...

"By the way, many Edinburgh chaps and chappesses keep asking if you'll be heading northwards for any sort of Festival fun in August. Are you?"

I'm not entirely sure. Quite possibly. I might do a long weekend or something. It'll be on the spur of the moment (like the Brown breeding programme comment but with less tedious repercussions), I imagine.

DK

Larry Garfield said...

Andy

Speak for yourself.

As someone with a genetic disorder which will probably kill me before I'm 40, the Devil owes me (or my parents) sweet FA.

As far as I'm concerned the comment was tasteless, but mildly amusing - and perfectly in keeping with the rest of the diatribe.

Now stop being such a Joey.

Ian_QT said...

@andy: "What you display is mindless violence of the word. It has the equivalence of a street stabbing - no thought for the victim or thier family or the damage done."

The irony! It burns!!

Do you trawl the net looking for shit to get offended by?

Ian_QT said...

Back on topic again:

The day after Gordon Brown lectures the country on wasting food - this (via Guido Fawkes) is his lunch & dinner menu at G8.

You've got to laugh or else you'll cry.

Old Holborn said...

Andy,

You carry recessive genes and your wife carries recessive genes.

And you decided to breed?

I think you owe your child an apology.

Vicola said...

DK, that description of the death of the one-eyed wankstain was truly masterful, I salute you.

This is not a politically correct sprt of blog and anyone who is easily offended or has a problem with that would be best off sticking to the bland, banal 'official' politian's blogs. So the Devil made a tastless comment, so what? It isn't the first, it won't be last and frankly the marvellous descriptions and fabulaous tastelessness are why I read it. Keep up the good work DK.

Rumbold said...

Devil's Kitchen:

"The Devil is a persona. Get it? Or do you imagine that I talk like this all the time?"

Yes.

"Might have led me to believe that you were comparing your personal opinion with actual fact and, having connected the two, were ordering me to change/apologise, etc."

I wasn't ordering you to apologise, just saying that you should, which is different. I believe that you should apologise, but I don't think that there should be a legal mechanism in place to make you apologise.

"There is also a very slight but inportant difference between making fun of the fact that a prime minister has disabled and dead children, and pointing out that the prime minister has managed to produce -- two times out of three -- a disabled or dead child."

Sophistry. The implication was clear- you were mocking his children.

Leg-iron:

"That's not criticism. That's insisting someone else adopt your moral stance and act accordingly. You did it again later."

I understand the distinction, but at the same time, if we don't take a moral stance of things, then we end up in post-modern liberal-left land, where all opinions and actions are equal and no-one can do anything wrong.

And don't get me started on Ed Balls.

Henry Crun said...

For heaven's sake Rumbold, drop the "you have offended my sensitivities" act. Terry kelly comes out with far more offensive drivel than DK ever has or does - then again Kelly is just a braindead cunt.

People who are offended, deserve to be offended. If you don't like it here fuck off back to Kelly's blog.

Rumbold said...

Henry Crun:

So Terry Kelly is the gold standard now? Oh dear.

Devil's Kitchen said...

Rumbold,

"Yes."

Really. How sad.

"I wasn't ordering you to apologise, just saying that you should, which is different. I believe that you should apologise..."

"You owe him an apology" is not the same as "I think that you should apologise". Or is that sophistry again?

"Sophistry. The implication was clear- you were mocking his children."

No, I was mocking him. Or do you now know more about my motives than I do?

DK

Obnoxio The Clown said...

@rumbold: grow up, for fuck's sake. Saying that Gordon is genetically deficient is hardly something that merits an apology.

@andy: don't read the fucking blog if it's going to offend you. Sounds like you and your mate are planning a bit of "street stabbing" yourself, so take the beam from your own eye and all that.

Christ, you can't fucking say anything in this cuntry (sic) any more without some up-his-own-arsehole twat taking offence.

It's fucking disgrace, forty years of politically correct cock-sucking leaves large swathes of cretinous populace looking for an excuse to be offended and go swinging around blindly.

Old Holborn said...

Fuck off Obo, you fat spazzer gaybo flid

Obnoxio The Clown said...

At least I'm not a ginger.

Henry Crun said...

Rumbold: Terry's blog is the gold standard alright - the gold standard in absolute shit-for-brains fuckwittery.

Henry Crun said...

Rumbold:

PS. Get over it. Move on.

the a&e charge nurse said...

What a gloriously fetid atmosphere.

Indignant bloggers defending their inalienable right to bait disabled children.

And, why not, eh ?

But let me lay a little hypothesis on you.
I'll bet over 90% of those endorsing such sentiments are from Essex [or public school]........just a thought.

Rumbold said...

I think that I have made my views clear on the matter (as has everyone else), so there is little more to say.

cookie said...

One of your rare stupid comments. Bad boy, Devil. Don't do it again; kids are a sensitive topic to all of us who have them and especially those of us who have lost them. That said, those bleating will no doubt have said worse in private and this is a post that reflects your just anger. You're still the greatest blogger in my eyes.