Wendy finally fucks off

Newsflash: trout-faced, stinkingly corrupt old whore found officially guilty of being a trout-faced, stinkingly corrupt old whore.

Praise be! It seems, as Guido briefly reported on Wednesday, that Wendy Alexander was found guilty of fiddling donations to her leadership campaign. Both Guido and your humble Devil happily published this letter in December, which appeared to screw the stupid cow's denials completely...


Your humble Devil also reported that The Sunday Herald had obtained a highly damning MS Word document that listed her donors and flagged one of the impermissable donations.

However, the Sunday Herald has obtained a printed copy of Alexander's full list of secret donors, which names each contributor, how much was given, as well as the campaign member from whom it was solicited.

According to the "properties" tab in the Microsoft Word document, "Brian Ashcroft", Alexander's husband, is named as the "author". This means the document was created on a computer registered in his name.

The secret list, which has never been published before, states under the "donor" heading that [Channel Islands resident] Paul Green had made a donation of £950. No mention of CPS. The column marked "Name/ address for Elect Comm purpose" contained Green's Jersey address.

Crucially, the list also drew attention to the donation's illegality by stating at the end: "Permissible?" According to the word file on which it was saved, the document's date is November 5.

Now it seems that, having been found guilty of being a unprincipled, corrupt hypocrite and shameless liar, Wendy has fallen on her sword (though not, alas, literally).

Scottish Labour leader Wendy Alexander has resigned "with deep regret" after breaking rules on declaring donations.

There's no regret at this end, love, I can assure you. Fuck off into mediocre obscurity, you bitch.

It came as she faced a one-day ban from Holyrood after failing to register donations to her leadership campaign.

Ms Alexander said she had acted in "good faith" and on the written advice of the parliamentary authorities.

Yes, yes, we saw this argument when your fat friend, Jackie Baillie, attempted to defend your honour on Newsnight. Not only is breaking the law unintentionally not a defence, but the evidence made quite plain that you knew—or, at the very least, strongly suspected—that what you were doing was illegal.

She accused the SNP of waging a "vexatious" campaign against her, without regard for the damage it was doing to the Scottish Parliament.

Oh, fuck off, you stupid little bitch; the person who was doing damage to the Scottish Parliament was you.

You broke the law.

You acted corruptly.

You kept putting up piss-poor defences.

You continued to lie.

And—I shall say it again—the only person that is responsible for damaging the Scottish Parliament, in this case, is you, Wendy.

There will only be one person who will be upset to see you finally fucking off, especially since he thought that this scandal was all over...


Yes, I have just had the poor little Greek boy on the 'phone, sobbing his little eyes out*; not only has Wendy had to resign but he himself is not in the country to comfort her (and maybe get a little comfort himself, if you get my drift. Nudge, nudge, wink, wink...).

Mind you, even my impecunious Athenian friend admitted that Wendy was treading on thin ice when she advanced the idea of an independence referendum.

The capacity of this government and its acolytes in the North for serially screwing things up is hilarious to watch. Already on its knees, it's an open question how many more of these self-inflicted wounds it can take before it expires altogether. But this is the break-up of the United Kingdom we're talking about; these pathetic internecine squabbles have consequences that will reverberate long after Brown and Alexander have returned to a richly deserved obscurity.

The fragrant Wendy has made a right balls-up of this entire affair, and politicians and columnists are now openly calling for her head. We may be very close to a tipping point for her "leadership", such as it is, and once that is reached, not even her biggest fan in the blogosphere will be able to save her.

Still, never mind, Mr E; I'm sure that Wendy will now have the odd empty hour to spend with her minge: maybe you could help her fill it...


* This may not be entirely true. Although I did send him a gleeful text and his reply was somewhat incredulous.**

** I may still be misrepresenting the situation. Or not. You decide...