Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Plucking shit out of the air

This is just a bit silly, frankly.
Climate change could cause global conflicts as large as the two world wars but lasting for centuries unless the problem is controlled, a leading defence think tank has warned.

Hey, you know what? I can do that too.

If the governments of the world don't immediately shoot billions of pounds worth of gold into space to placate the Space Aliens of Doom, they will invade and cause five billion deaths. These Space Aliens of Doom have eighty-three heads, five tentacles and a cock the size of the Eiffel Tower; as such, they could wipe us all out unless...

Oh, fuck it: the above scenario is just total, scare-mongering fantasy based on no evidence whatsoever. A bit like this climate change report...
The Royal United Services Institute said a tenfold increase in research spending, comparable to the amount spent on the Apollo space programme, will be needed if the world is to avoid the worst effects of changing temperatures.

Wow! Who would have thunk it? A research arm of the government says that governments need to spend an awful lot more on research—why am I not surprised?

Look, chaps, if climate change is settled science, then why on earth would we need to spend yet more billions on research? If the science is not in doubt, then surely it would be more worthwhile to spend those billions of dollars on abatement or solutions?

Of course, it might be better if we could read the report; however, as Timmy point out, that's a little tricky.
Well, that sounds interesting. So what is it that they are actually saying, rather than what’s in the press release?

The report page.

What? No .pdf download? We actually have to pay to read your report?

Sorry guys, you’ve just lost a great deal of interest in your case.

But then, since the whole thing is a load of fucking tosh, let's not worry about it, eh?

10 comments:

Thud said...

I hate those space aliens of doom...I say fight them...no gold.

Anonymous said...

'Wow! Who would have thunk it? A research arm of the government says that governments need to spend an awful lot more on research—why am I not surprised?'

Yes, what surprises me most about this is that our wonderful media never seem to pick up on it EVER!.. As with my esteemed author of this point as with myself, this is clearly a question that is never raised.. Whenever a government dept ask for a raise it is never questioned by our media...

Hang on a mo... Wasnt it the BBC asking for a raise recently?...

Henry Crun said...

What a great basis for a declaration of war!

Can you imagine Neville Chamberlain getting off the plane, back from delivering his ultimatum to Adolf?

"We have told Mr Hitler that unless the unseasonally warm weather in Germany doesn't cool down soon, and unless he allows the cold front to pass over Poland and the Sudetenland, our two countries will be at war"

Anonymous said...

The size of the Eiffel Tower you say?
HOLY KRAP!
Gordon quick send them all our gold... what? You did what?!?!

John A said...

"... effects of changing temperatures."

Considering reports that the world-wide temperature range has either been fairly stable or perhaps dropping for seven to ten years, this looks like what is called CYA sputum.

(CYA - Cover Your A.s.s)

Budgie said...

Scratch a "climate changer" or a "temperature changer" and underneath you will find a "global warmist". But the Manhattan conference showed the IPCC case is rubbish.

As for the politicians, who have apparently not followed the recent nuancing by the "experts", and who still believe in AGW, their motives are more sinister. They are using AGW to tax and control us into serfdom.

Anonymous said...

"what surprises me most about this is that our wonderful media never seem to pick up on it EVER!"

They won't, because in the MSM news business it is easier to speculate – and report everyone else's speculation – than question or even argue an issue.

If you are in any doubt, simply go through a newspaper – though the TV and radio are just as guilty – and cross out every word like "could" and "fear" and delete every phrase such as "possibly would" and "worries grow" and see what's left.

That's right, not very much of any substance at all.

Anonymous said...

You should read the excellent Libertarian approach to Govt funding of science - Sex, Science and profits by Terence Kealy. He comprehensively proves that the government funding of science is basically a colossal waste of money.

I think you would enjoy it....

Rod said...

If you want a really good laugh visit the website of E3G at http://www.e3g.org/index.php. This is the website of the organisation of which Nick Mabey the author of the report is Chief Executive and Founder. The Bullshit-o-meter is off the scale . Here's a taster:

E3G is organised around a permanent strategic conversation which identifies the critical actions required to accelerate change, and the political, economic, technical and cultural conditions needed to drive it. This combines the expertise of all E3G staff in the development of compelling strategic insights and narratives which shape our interventions.


And they get public money for this shite!

Jones said...

Think tanks don't. Think that is. That much is obvious.

I blame the tory policy of 'care in the community'. We'd never have these problems if the old asylum system was still working.