Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Celebrity Fatfighters

John Prescott: slimmer of the year.

My colleague, The Nameless One, does not know what to make of Prescott's admission of bulimia; fortunately, I had no such qualms. I made jokes. And laughed. A lot.
Former deputy prime minister John Prescott has confessed to suffering from the eating disorder bulimia.

He told BBC News 24 that he suffered in misery and in silence for 10 years because of the shame of being a high-profile man with the illness.

Well, first, I am very glad that Mr Prescott has confessed to this problem; I have no doubt that thousands suffering from bulimia will take one look at Prescott and simply stop. After all, if that's what bulimia does to you...

Second, why the fucking hell does he think that I would give a crap—that anyone would give a crap? He is a fat, corrupt, incompetent, adulterous, lazy, good-for-nothing sex pest and "serial groper"; frankly, the idea that the talentless, deluded, malignant little shit suffered in "misery and silence" for ten years is a source of barely concealed glee as far as your humble Devil is concerned.

Third—and I know that I will probably get a load of shit for this—but if you are not mature enough to understand that stuffing your porcine features with vast amounts of food and then throwing it up is a bad, stupid and pathetic thing to do, then you are certainly not mature enough to govern this country. For fuck's sake, this man was Deputy Prime Minister of Great Britain! Mind you, he was already regarded as a vomitous mass before this revelation—although it was, admittedly, us who were throwing up rather than him.

The poor little Greek boy sums the whole situation up rather neatly, I feel.
What difference does it make whether Tony Blair knew that Prescott was bulimic when he was leaving him in charge? He clearly wasn't bothered that his deputy was an incompetent embarrassment, so why would anyone expect him to break sweat over a few chocolate eclairs?

At least when Prescott was eating he wasn't actively fucking stuff up. We should be grateful for tender mercies and move on.

John Prescott is, was and always shall be a total fucking cunt and I have absolutely no sympathy for the attention-hungry turd whatsoever.


Anonymous said...

I wish you would say what you mean and stop beating about the bush. FFS

Anonymous said...

Prezza can haz cheezburger?

Nom nom nom nom nom.


Nom nom nom nom nom.

Sir Henry Morgan said...

What was her name ... Tracey, was it?

As far as I'm concerned, the big question about his puking is: did he ever puke in her face while he was shagging her across the office desk?

And while we're on the subject - does he like Japanese porn?

I think Tracey should do a kiss (kiss? That repulsive slug?) and tell on this question. She could make a fortune quite separate from the one she sits on. And with any luck drive him to suicide.

John said...

Would someone please pass the sickbag...

Oh, on second thoughts... don't.

Anonymous said...

In fairness, if my job necessitated contact with the upper echelons of the Labour party, I’d be throwing up all the time.

Budgie said...

Has Prescott actually been diagnosed medically as having Bulimia? Or is it his own "diagnosis"?

Prescott is overweight. The quotes I have read show he enjoyed his food and was not concerned about its effect upon him. He made himself sick in order to eat even more.

In contrast bulimics have a mental mis-perception - they avoid food and make themselves sick to avoid the consequences of food. They don't want to eat (properly). Net result is they starve themselves sometimes to death.

Prescott is not bulimic he is a glutton; almost the opposite.

The Nameless One said...

I've been thinking about Prezza and his claims to bulimia and have come to the following conclusion.

Some people vomit after they eat because they have low self-esteem and image problems. These people suffer from bulimia.

Other people vomit after eating state banquets so they fill their appalling, fat gobs with big macs. These people are called "greedy fat cunts". Or John Prescott.

mitch said...

Pity its not terminal.

Fidothedog said...

Knowing Prescott, he probably started throwing up to enjoy a good taxpayer funded meal twice....