Saturday, March 01, 2008

Parrisian Cocking

The normally sane Matthew Parris is talking absolute fucking horseshit.
I don't think the question of whether Mr Speaker Martin should resign is any business of mine, or yours, or the British media's, or the British public's. I think it's for sitting MPs, and for Mr Martin himself, to consider and decide. And in making that decision I doubt that he or they should take much notice of any of us.

Yeah? Is that what you think, Parris, you ex-MP shitstick? Well, you're completely fucking wrong, as a matter of fact.

Gorbals Mick, as he is affectionately contemptuously known, is a venal, corrupt, useless cunting liar; he is a bloody awful Speaker and he is an utterly corrupt man. And as a taxpayer who has to shell out for his fraudulently claimed expenses, I think that his disgustingly dishonest behaviour is absolutely my fucking business.

I don't give two cunts whether he is the Speaker or not; I do, however, care that he has quite deliberately fiddled his expenses and he now has the fucking gall—the fucking brass sodding neck—to lead an investigation into the way in which other MPs have defrauded the taxpayer.

Now, I admit that there is a certain mode of thinking that says that one should set a criminal to catch a criminal but, as far as I am concerned, he (and Conway) should be being anally raped by Big Bubba in Wormwood Scrubs, not being defended by Matthew "it's not a wig, honest" Parris.

But that won't happen because it's only taxpayers' money that the fat Jock cunt and the rest of the MPs have been helping themselves to, eh? And once you have committed one crime—extortion with menaces—then fraud simply pales in comparison.

Taxation is like cannabis—it's a gateway crime.

Bishop Hill has some criticism of Parris too.
Matthew Parris says that holding Gorbals Mick (I thought he was a Jock?) accountable is not the job of the public or the media but of MPs.

Now this is all very well, but we have also been told in recent days that no sitting MP will risk criticising the speaker for fear of never being called to speak again. All we've had is a chorus of Labour MPs cheering him to the rafters and making vague claims of snobbery.

This one-sidedness is so pronounced, it completely undermines the idea that MPs can hold the speaker to account. So it's pretty much inevitable that the press and the blogs are going to have to do the work for them.

You could almost hear the lines burning just after the Conway scandal broke, as MPs desperately phoned their accountants to ensure that their systematic embezzlement was sufficiently well hidden; they were hardly going to appoint anyone honest or untainted to lead an investigation into their endemic corruption.

It suits MPs down to the ground that the Speaker is up to his eyeballs in the same scams: after all, he is far less likely to look to closely if he knows that MPs would bring his own gravy train crashing up against the buffers if he did. Just to ensur that nothing nasty is revealed under the stones, another three utterly compromised MPs were chosen to assist Martin in looking into the problem: they too are unlikely to find anything untoward, are they? It is a cycle of blackmail and endemic corruption.

The whole edifice, the whole institution is utterly rotten; David Cameron seems to have grasped that people feel this. But it is too fucking late, Dave: just look at your own figures.
Public faith in our political institutions is draining away.

"Draining away"? It's fucking gone: you are exposed for the useless, managerialist, mendacious hypocrites that you are. Further, you have no more power to change 75% of the laws that go through the House than I have.

What is the fucking point of you? Any of you?
According to MORI, the proportion of people trusting politicians to put the needs of the country before the needs of party halved between 1974 and 1999.

Trust in Parliament fell from 54 per cent in 1983 to 14 per cent in 2000.

Since then it's got even worse.

Our Parliament is scorned.

Our parties are shrinking.

Our membership is ageing.

It's getting harder to find candidates willing to stand in council elections.

As far as the public is concerned, politicians are all the same.

Not because they all say the same thing, but because they all do the same thing.

Let's be clear what they think of us: "you lie and you spin, you fiddle your expenses and you break your promises."

Yes, that's a pretty good summation of what people think, you pointless, venal cunts. We despise you for a bunch of thieving bastards on the make with no power to change anything. That is because you have none. As Guido says, voting for these cunts only encourages them.
ISIL animation
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Anti-politics is the new politics. You have read it here almost daily for four years. Cameron's new politics shows promise, his post-bureaucratic agenda is about limiting the state and the unlimiting of society. Those of us who are anti-politics are the majority at election time, if Cameron can convince the non-voting majority that he will walk the walk as well as talk the talk he could win a landslide. We won't ever vote for the Labour Party, yet why should we vote for the Tories? We are the sceptical and cynical majority who see politicians as a problem, not a solution...

I don't advocate not voting, however; as one of Guido's commenters says, the politicians would have no problem with that.
Don't vote???

They'd settle for that—continuing to be elected on a 10% turnout, however bad it would look. The only thing that will motivate them is the fear of NOT being elected, and losing the spoils of office.

The problem is that all of these comfortable Westminster politicians are going to continue in the House quite happily; some of the personnel will change, but the parties continue. And this is, as the Nation of Shopkeepers quite rightly points out, because of the stupidity and tribalism of those who vote. [Apologies for quoting it in full.]
In The Simpsons Treehouse of Horror VII, one of their annual halloween specials, one of the shorts involves two aliens from outer space. After kidnapping Homer, they learn that to conquer the Earth,all they need to do is kidnap the two presidential candidates, emulate them, and then take over the world.

On the eve of the election, both doppelgangers are stood before a crowd.
[From the sky comes a scream, as Homer is crashing right into the
Capitol. A few footsteps later, he comes running down the stairs.]

Homer: America, take a good look at your beloved candidates. They’re nothing but hideous space reptiles. [unmasks them. Audience gasps in terror]

Kodos: It’s true, we are aliens. But what are you going to do about it? It’s a two-party system; you have to vote for one of us.


Man1: He’s right, this is a two-party system.

Man2: Well, I believe I’ll vote for a third-party candidate.

Kang: Go ahead, throw your vote away.

[Kang and Kodos laugh out loud. Ross Perot smashes his “Perot 96″ hat]

In the UK, we have three main parties. The Fibbers are, to a man, hypocritical liars. They neither believe in democracy, or in liberalism. The Fibbers present socialism for middle class folk; you can drive your Volvo, drink you Rioja, and send Tristan to private school with a clean conscience because they will look after the working class unfortunates ~ they know what is best for them. The BBC / Nu Labour alliance needs little introduction ~ its members are authoritarian, corrupt, morally bankrupt statists who don’t care to much for practicing what they preach. Under their rule, you can be sure of two things every morning. The sun is going to rise, and something is going to be banned. That leave’s Dave’s Conservatives. Who are they?

Well, it appears, if this lot of jokers get their way, they will spend the same or more of your money, their MP’s aren’t that shy of a bit of Bansturbation (whinging Dave worshipers can piss off if they wish to point out that the Conservative front bench didn’t support this ~ when asked on Webcameron, he refused to support Backlash), and they may well bring back state slavery.

Unfortunately, some people still insist on the ‘well, they are the only people who can win, and they will be better that Labour’ bullshit. Deep down, many of these ‘libertarians’ are anything but. I suspect if an incoming government allowed them to go hunting again, and dropped taxes a bit, they would shut up. I doubt if many of them would march in the streets to prevent the criminialisation of BDSM. But among them there are those who wish for a free society. What I say to them is this. When you are faced with three space aliens, you are faced with three fucking space aliens. It’s no good voting for the one with the smallest tentacle.

Don’t be duped like Man #2. "Waste" your vote on a party you actually believe in. I, for one, will not be smashing my "Libertarian Party of the UK" hat anytime soon.

Because, you see, the problem is not really the individuals in Parliament, odious though most of them are: it is the parties. What they fuck do they care, really? They are nicely entrenched in our Parliament, squatting there like three big, fat slugs: sure, they shed some cells occasionally, but they always put them back on again eventually.

And Dave still hasn't quite grasped this yet, mainly because he cannot allow himself to think what would be, for him, the unthinkable.
To do that, we need to understand why this political breakdown has happened.

A lot of it is to with behaviour.

The behaviour of a minority of individual politicians, in all parties.

It is not a minority, Dave: the public don't despise a minority of people in all parties—they despise all of you, of al parties. You said it yourself, only a few seconds before: remember? [Emphasis mine.]
According to MORI, the proportion of people trusting politicians to put the needs of the country before the needs of party halved between 1974 and 1999.

We despise the parties, Dave: we hold the lot of you in contempt, you Lobby-fodder scum. I, personally, loathe you all so much that I am tempted to say that the best thing for politics in this country would be to make all political parties illegal.

But that isn't going to happen, but I do wish that those who mindlessly vote for the fucking Tories, or cocking Labour, out of tribalism or because "they are the only ones what 'ave got a chance of getting in" would shut the fuck up. After all, it is only because people voted for a load of small parties that we have had to endure a decade of Labour.

The biggest single obstacle to new parties in this country is not making policy, or finding money, or campaigning, or any of that. The single biggest reason why our Parliament is so corrupt, why our politics is so stagnant, why our parties are all the fucking same, is because of the fact that people think that any vote for anyone other than the big three is a "wasted vote". It is people voting for parties that they don't believe in because they think that those are the only parties that are going to win.

Ironically, if people voted in what they actually fucking believed in, rather than voting for the winner, we would have a proper pluralist democracy rather than a tripartite system; we wouldn't need all these people clamouring for PR, we wouldn't have so much fucking corruption.

Instead, we have endemic venality and a paucity of new thinking because the morons in the street keep on voting for the fucking aliens.

UPDATE: the general shitness of politicians and the state seems to be a theme for the day: alien-voter A Very British Dude also comments...
The thread running through each part of society's malaise is Government action. Too much tax causes the rich to think their obligations to others less fortunate is already paid. Too many rules and too much management by an over-mighty state cause stress for the hard-working middle. Those who feel this stress most keenly, young men, get drunk and kick each other in the head every Friday. And the existence of the poor is made miserable by the skewed incentives of the welfare state.

Government action causes far more problems than it ever solves. If you work for the state, just fuck off! Leave us alone, stop taking our money and let us get on with our chosen profession without having to fill in forms for you. You politicians want to create a dynamic, happy society - Leave people alone for a bit, see what they come up with. Then leave that alone and see if it works. You're worried about the poor. The circulation of the Guardian indicates there are a lot of people who agree. If you stopped taking everyone's money, there would be enough money for private charity from the do-gooders to help the poor, without the disincentives to work which permeate the welfare state. A tax cut will enable the hard-working middle to breath in the midst of government caused inflation. Perhaps without the constant tax and nannying, people will decide to do something more productive than getting rat-arsed on Friday night - resulting in less vomit and blood on the streets.

Government makes everything shit. There's a good reason why everyone thinks politicians are worthless cunts: It's the wisdom of crowds. They can see that everything politicians do is an attempt to justify their power, whereas the result of politicians' actions are felt as unintended consequences by everyone else. Politicians are the cause, not the solution to the problems of the UK.

Unfortunately, the politicians just can't help themselves: they are like a child picking at a scab. Everyone tells them that they will make things worse and yet they stick pick at the scabs; it gets worse and yet still they do it.



Anonymous said...

Until the ballot paper actually allows us to say 'none of the above' (to allow positive abstention) then this will be considered as simple voter apathy, no more no less.

Sir Henry Morgan said...

I've long thought that ballot papers should have a "None of the above" box.

But I take it a little further than that - if "None of the above" gets the most votes, then it really should be exactly that - none are elected. And if "None of the above" wins a majority of constituencies, then NONE of the fuckers are elected and we have a new general election, with the added condition that no twat who stood in the previous election can stand in the new one.

Do that a few times and we'd soon start getting real humans standing for election instead of twats from the planet twatso.

Tim Almond said...

"Ironically, if people voted in what they actually fucking believed in, rather than voting for the winner, we would have a proper pluralist democracy rather than a tripartite system;"

Only if you get to the point of being the challenger to the incumbent. You could be a major political force in this country getting 30% of the vote, but if that reflects across all seats, you get nothing.

Because people know this is the system, they don't vote for who they want because they consider it a wasted vote compared to voting for one of the 2 main candidates. Whilst voting for Libertarians/Greens/MRLP means you increase the share, it makes sod all difference.

The Lib Dems have been getting something like 20% of the vote since I can remember, and nothing is done to address it. Neither Labour or Conservative are going to change a system that delivers for them.

If we want more involvement in politics, we need a change to the system. People supporting UKIP, Green or BNP are underrepresented in parliament.

defender said...

Democracy in England is, well, dead.
We are in a new reality for this generation. People are beginning to notice that they are being riped off and pissed upon.
If I were a politician I would be worried about a nation of pissed off Englishmen.
When things are humming along nicely we went along with it. Buy the house, nice car, holidays, credit that sort of thing. They do what they want as long as we get ours as well.
But it was clear that was smoke and mirrors, the reality is that the "good times" are over. The shit is hitting the fan. those who went for the easy life are now finding that they are the ones who are slaves to the system which they have tied themselves to.
They are deep in the shit now, owned by their credit rating. Easy to leech from, led by the nose. Terrified to lose it all.
Sleepless nights, wife worried, in debt to the hilt. Every day dreading the postman.
When they cant hold unto the pole anymore there is only one way to go. What do you do when you lose your house? Renting is even more expensive than most mortages.
And then you wake up to the fact that the politicians are skimming off the top in full view.
It is happening now, everywhere in the country and it will get worse for a variety of reasons and there is not a fucking thing that the politicians can do about it. They have painted themselves into a corner, no where to turn to, no where to hide.
The last thing that we will need, to get things right over the next few decades, will be the politicians we nave now. They each have a lamb post reserved for them.
It will have to be the people who will decide how we want to continue in this nation.

niconoclast said...

Politicians are people pleasers and for the most part delluded inadequates who have never held a real job but who enjoy controlling those who do.They like to play vicarious philanthropism with other people's money.They pull the kind of stunts which if pulled by individual citizens would land them in jail but - they of course have immunity.

The system is corrupt.Democracy is a flawed concept because it gives 'each man the right to be his own dictator' to plunder from his neighbour with the politician being the middle man. Unless individual rights are enshrined in law democracy is little more than mobocracy -rule by the mob,of the lowest common denominator.

Man has gone to the moon,we have rocket science but politics is stuck in the the middle of the last century with all the old socialist structures - we are all socialist now.Tories apologise for their existence and promise not to lower taxes and tory voters are disenfranchised.(I could go on,I won't go on)

Anonymous said...

For a while now I have wondered how we can ensure that our politicians understand the degree of our disenchantment towards them. Mention is often made of 'none of the above' on a ballot paper, and whilst the sentiment is correct; it will never be an option. However, I have an idea. Why don't we set up a new party. Let's call it the 'By-Election Party'. It will have a manifesto of one promise, that within 7 days of the new parliament, the elected member will resign their position and force a by-election. If everyone disenfranchised by the current system votes for the By-election party candidate, and does so until there is real change, then the successive resignations and subsequent by-elections will make a mockery of the current system, and hopefully force these people to re-engage the voting public by cleaning up politics and actually going about the business of representing the people who voted for them [a naive idea, I know]. Anyone fancy standing for election and then resigning straight away? Statistics indicate we'll romp to an overall majority.