Friday, March 14, 2008

Blown a gasket

Your humble Devil is not feeling well: he thinks that he may actually have had a TIA, such has been the rage engendered by this BBC story (to which an email correspondent alerted me).
MPs are allowed to claim expenses of up to £10,000 for a new kitchen, £2,000 for furniture and £750 for a TV or stereo for their second homes.

Other claims allowable include £6,335 for a new bathroom, £299.99 for air conditioning units, £300 per rug, £50 for a shredder and £1,000 for a bed.

The figures are in the so-called "John Lewis list" used by Commons officials to list maximum amounts for items.

You fucking what?

So, let me just spell this out. When an MP buys a second home, in London, then we taxpayers service the mortgage. Effectively, we buy the house.

And when an MP wants to get their second home into tip top condition—a new kitchen, a new bathroom, or a fucking jacuzzi for all I know—then we taxpayers have to pay for that too.

So, we taxpayers buy the MPs' homes. Then we taxpayers pay for the value that is added to that home. And then, when the MP sells their very nice new home, we taxpayers get the profit, right?

Er, no; no, we don't. Yes, you read that right.

The MP takes all of the profit from the home that our money bought and our money refurbished.

Further, MPs have just given themselves a nice little tax break too. Where once they would have paid 40% Capital Gains Tax when they sold that second home, now they will only pay 18%! Fucking hooray for them!

I would like to remind you that these corrupt bastards are now spending over £650 billion of our money a year—or £1,700,000,000 of our money every, single day—and people still trust them to get good results?

It's madness. The only thing that these fuckers are interested in is lining their own pockets.

Prepare the lamp posts and order a few hundred metres of finest hempen rope. Perhaps John Lewis could give me a fucking estimate...?

UPDATE: via Dizzy, who has a good post on this, here is the full John Lewis list. Alas, neither gibbets nor rope seem to be allowable.

If I set up a charity to take donations towards the cost, do you think that giving the charity's aim as "raising enough money to buy six hundred gibbets and several fathoms of strong rope, for the purpose of hanging every single MP" would count as impermissible political activity?


Peter Horne said...

What you need is a trip to to "The Three Legged Mare"
Apart from being a very fine Pub, you can also view the gallows from which it gets its name; whereby felons were hanged three at a time. Wouldn't it be nice to enjoy a delicious pint whilst watching Cyclops, Dave and the other one whose name I can never remember all doing the air tap dance at the same time?

Vicola said...

To be honest, this gives me rage. These asshats were whining yesterday about expenses and the fact that they might have to reveal theirs and having read this I'm not fucking suprised they were concerned. The public will go mental when they find out they've paid for Hazel Blears to have a jacuzzi and sauna fitted. And you can get a kitchen for a fuck sight less than £10 000, trust me, I know. They are a bunch of greedy, corrupt, selfish morons and I am more than willing to fund a length of rope and some 2x4 for a gibbet as long as you can promise me that my rope and scaffold will be used to choke the life out of Blears. Or perhaps Ruth Kelly.

witchibus said...

Silly boy. Just write:

"...raising enough money to engage disadvantaged local youth in designing and erecting contemporary timber/jute interface structures, thus facilitating their participation in political feedback hierachies and positive, awareness-raising action."

Watch money flood in...