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What White People Like

Via the ever paternal and learned Snob, I am most amused at this internet handbook, What White People Like. This is my favourite entry so far...
#62 Knowing what’s best for poor people

White people spend a lot of time of worrying about poor people. It takes up a pretty significant portion of their day.

They feel guilty and sad that poor people shop at Wal*Mart instead of Whole Foods, that they vote Republican instead of Democratic, that they go to Community College/get a job instead of studying art at a University.

It is a poorly guarded secret that, deep down, white people believe if given money and education that all poor people would be EXACTLY like them. In fact, the only reason that poor people make the choices they do is because they have not been given the means to make the right choices and care about the right things.

But it is ESSENTIAL that you reassert that poor people do not make decisions based on free will. That news could crush white people and their hope for the future.

Do go and have a peruse: it's all most amusing...


Sir Henry Morgan said…
And white poor people?

And they DO exist.
Sir Henry Morgan said…
Ahhhh ... I get it now.

Only BLACK people can be poor.
Kay Tie said…
I think we need to write "Guardian readers" instead of "white people" and then it's pretty much spot on.
Ed said…
I was just about to write what Kay Tie just wrote. It's not white people in general it's guilt-ridden members of the middle class.

I am a member of the white community and I don't tell anyone how to live.
Kay Tie said…
"I am a member of the white community and I don't tell anyone how to live."

You be careful there, ed. You used the word "community". It's a slippery slope down towards "inappropriate", "fair" and the loathsome "vulnerable".
Travis Bickle said…
If you substitute the words "hand wringing, left leaning, chattering classes" for "white people", then it looks like an entry from the Islington Bible.
Ed said…
My use of the word "community" was deliberate... ;-)
Kim du Toit said…
Only SOME White people, O Devilish One.

Other White people (like me) would rather let the poor rot, especially.

But we're Krool & Hartless, dont'cha know?
EmmaK said…
Funny, I am a middle class person living in America and am ashamed to say I shop at Wal-Mart despite its exploitation of chinese children and despite the fact that many of the patrons of Wal-Mart have no teeth and thunder thighs. I don't know if you have ever been to Whole Foods but it is the biggest rip off ever. I once saw a can of tuna selling there for ten dollars. fuck off.
Stopmakingsense said…
It's good to know that our wonderful government are still in a position to leak these kinds of stories undetected. It makes me go all warm and fuzzy inside!.

However - Does'nt Gordon Brown know whats best for us all?. Is'nt he our very God on earth?

I want this Country to be a member of the European union because Gordon says so!. - It's got nothing to do with the fact, that he does'nt think that Im bright enough to make the correct decision, and thus, vote the "Right way" - his way!.

If Gordon says "help the poor" surely we must take heed!. If when we pop this mortal coil, if we were to donate all of our worldly possessions to Gordon and his perfectionate Labour party, and forget about our greedy families, for the simple love of self-rightious Gordon - Im certain that he would be able to spend our "lifes Work" far more appropriately than any of our selfish family members.

Perhaps the queen has also past her sell by date!.

Does'nt "President Brown" have such a glorious ring to it?.
Henry Crun said…
Have you read the comments on What White People Like?

It seems like the Americans still haven't grasped the concept of "Irony".
Anonymous said…

"I am a middle class person living in America and am ashamed to say I shop at Wal-Mart despite its exploitation of chinese children"

However distasteful you may find the idea of children working, try and imagine what the alternative situation would be.
Kay Tie said…
"what the alternative situation would be"

Err, children working on farms? But then that's a rural idyll, isn't it? Happy, contented peasants loafing in the sunshine waiting for the crops to ripen, chewing on a grass stalk, listening to the birds.

Funny how in the 19th Century in Britain the peasants flocked to the dark satanic mills to work fewer hours for higher wages. And how the rural Chinese are choosing to do just the same.
EmmaK said…
anonymous...what is the alternative to chinese kids working in factories...I guess starvation?

I suppose working in a factory is better so I don't need to feel guilty?
Devil's Kitchen said…
According to most studies, the children end up doing worse things, with starvation, begging or prostitution being the primary alternative careers. They also end up working in local factories with far, far worse conditions.

No, the conditions in multinational factories aren't like they are here, but they do tend to be considerably better than the alternatives.

On the issue of wages, one of the things is that when NGOs report that they are being paid 2p a day, they are taking no account of purchasing power parity.

If the local wage is 2p a day, you can't pay people £2 a day: you would get runaway inflation.

Anonymous said…
shit link, not funny, tired old jokes.

why don't you grow some balls and do a list of things black people like.

you could start with shooting each other and fathering illegitimate children.
Devil's Kitchen said…
I feel that I need to clarify that What White People Like is a satyrical site.

Those who didn't get it... well... what can I say? You're morons.

Devil's Kitchen said…

"why don't you grow some balls and do a list of things black people like.

you could start with shooting each other and fathering illegitimate children."

And you thought that WWPL was tired and unfunny? Fucking hellski...

TDK said…
Dear Devil

If you like that site then I recommend this.

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