Monday, February 11, 2008

If...

... only they could make this substance.
No, these cunts need to make a new substance that will get us out of our heads but without any long term damage to our health. With all the wonders of science and technology at our disposal it must be possible to create a new drink or a new narcotic that helps us forget the state of our health service...

Something that will allow us to ignore the fact that our politicians are crooked, the church still won’t take any responsibility for the fact they buggered so many of our children, that houses are too expensive to buy without a lotto win, that people spend the equivalent of an entire day commuting just to get to work, that childcare costs as much as your wife’s entire salary, that violent crime is on the increase, that you’re more likely to be stabbed in the face than have someone say ‘good morning to you’, that the price of a pint is now up there with the Scandinavian countries we used to laugh at because booze was so expensive, that we live on credit, that immigrants are taking all our jobs and that basically we’re all just dreadfully unhappy which is why we drink so much in the first place.

It can’t be that fucking difficult. Chemicals + something + more chemicals = substance which makes us feel good, think we’re more attractive and witty than we are but without the side effects and next-day hangover. Then we could get as fucked as we wanted but with no reprisals or holier-than-thou bleating from the newspapers and media (who are all snorting lines off their desks as they write the shit anyway).

Somebody, for the love of Christ, do something.

Britain and the Republic of Ireland are obviously not so different, eh? Except, of course, that those cunts are getting a referendum on the Lisbon Treaty EU Constitution.

In the meantime, could someone please come up with that narcotic? Although to be fair, in the opinion of your humble Devil, it already exists...

16 comments:

Ed said...

I could do with a Soma holiday, too.

Twenty Major said...

That stuff leaves you wrecked the next day though, Devil.

Mostly because it makes you think you can drink loads, but still...

Anonymous said...

That substance already exists. It's called chocolate. Mmmmmmmm. Sweet, sweet chocolate.

Only criminals, Jews, leftists and immigrants dislike chocolate.

Devil's Kitchen said...

Ah, that's 'cos you're an old man, Twenty. And soft as shite.

If I took it on a Friday, I generally found that the only ill-effect that I got was a certain restlessness on a Tuesday. But another pill soon cured that...

DK

number 6 said...

Victory Gin will soon be on the shelves, branded with a nice ring of stars logo.

The we can all sup away as we face our telescreens and say "We love Big Brother." Big Brother will be appointed by the EU of course, but we will be allowed the 'choice' between approved local politicians like Mr Brown or Mr Cameron.

XTC, great band, shite drug.

Anonymous said...

Try Sex!

Twenty Major said...

But another pill soon cured that...

Ah, I thought you meant the powder.

a leader said...

Utter nonsense the whole thing ye heathens? Ten minutes in the cellar wi' little boy photos, a bottle o Buckie, biting y' nails, an' fingrin' y'arse an' a wank and everythin' is A OK d'ye no ken?

Nick said...

Thresher's "own brand" gin is actually called "Victory".

I am not making that up.

Shug Niggurath said...

nick, I misread that as "Thatcher's own brand ..." for a second there.

So if we can only get a pill without the crap (Motorola ones laced with Ketamine anyone????) we could get off our faces and let the buggers shaft us - cause we simply wont give a fuck...

chris said...

According to that Wiki link I should be able to pick them up for £1.50. Shame the wiki didn't include which clubs to go to! Always wondered why you see customs cutters hanging around here in summer.

John Trenchard said...

its not MDMA dk, its a variant, discovered by Alexander Shulgin.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alexander_Shulgin

piHKal is the book who wrote on the variants and their various effects
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/PiHKAL

the uk government has the most draconian laws in the world with regards to Shulgin's findings - it banned ALL of the drugs he discovered, classifying them all as class A, even though their effects vary wildly.

one mustn't let the plebs open their minds even a small bit - much better to ply them with cheap supermarket booze and crap television.

sashamash said...

You wot?

You''d be lucky to find any mdma in modern pills, and the powder form will definitely be twisting your mind the day after, not least from lack of sleep and possibly a lot of pain to the nose.

However this wonder drug does exist...

...a few big fat lines of c.

Anonymous said...

Still prefer sex!

Shug Niggurath said...

Shurely sex on drugs anon?

Anonymous said...

No just sex!