Professor Ian Gilmore, president of the Royal College of Physicians and Chair of the Alcohol Health Alliance, said: "This research shows that binge drinking and hangovers are not just a problem for younger drinkers.
"Many people underestimate the amount of units they are drinking because drinks have been getting stronger, and glasses larger, over the past couple of decades - a small glass of wine can now be two units, and large glasses three to four units.
Look, Gilmore, you stupid cunt, when will you understand that we know that you and your scientific buddies are more than happy to pull figures out of your arses so that you won't look pig-ignorant. No one believes a word you say. So why don't you go suck on a shotgun, you tedious little bastard.
And as for this patronising little turd, she can fuck off and all.
Dr Sarah Jarvis, a GP, said that it was important for the over-30s to limit their alcoholic intake over the Christmas period.
She offered advice to help older people to drink less during the Christmas party season.
"To help you stick to your limits, you might want to try agreeing a limit with a friend, following one alcoholic drink with a soft drink, or taking time out from drinking for another activity."
How old do you think we are, you fucking twat? This is a report about the drinking habits of those over 30, for crying out loud! At what point are we old enough for bastard patronising fucking medicos not to offer their pointless, irritating "advice". You can go suck on something too, you silly cow.
Sometimes, satire hits the nail on the head and, today, the Daily Mash hits the spot.
Research director Dr Tom Logan said: "When it came to tobacco and alcohol we made the startling discovery that people over 30 were no longer little children who still pissed the bed.
"In fact, not only were they able to read the gigantic warnings on cigarette packets, they were also fully aware that drinking two bottles of Muscadet on an empty stomach could lead to hangovers, half-remembered unpleasantness and chronic liver disease - but they were going to do it anyway because they were adults and it was no-one else's fucking business.
"When we asked them how they knew these things, they stressed that was also none of our fucking business and that politicians should stop trying to make everyone the same..."
Quite. So, the gist of the message to politicos and medicos: it is none of your fucking business. Shut the fuck up, you fucking hypocrites.
Have a merry Christmas, you cunts.