Friday, December 21, 2007

Why won't these tedious anti-booze campaigners shut the fuck up?

Seriously, this collection of prize cunts are becoming even more loathesome than 38.3% of our politicians.
Professor Ian Gilmore, president of the Royal College of Physicians and Chair of the Alcohol Health Alliance, said: "This research shows that binge drinking and hangovers are not just a problem for younger drinkers.

"Many people underestimate the amount of units they are drinking because drinks have been getting stronger, and glasses larger, over the past couple of decades - a small glass of wine can now be two units, and large glasses three to four units.

Look, Gilmore, you stupid cunt, when will you understand that we know that you and your scientific buddies are more than happy to pull figures out of your arses so that you won't look pig-ignorant. No one believes a word you say. So why don't you go suck on a shotgun, you tedious little bastard.

And as for this patronising little turd, she can fuck off and all.
Dr Sarah Jarvis, a GP, said that it was important for the over-30s to limit their alcoholic intake over the Christmas period.
...

She offered advice to help older people to drink less during the Christmas party season.

"To help you stick to your limits, you might want to try agreeing a limit with a friend, following one alcoholic drink with a soft drink, or taking time out from drinking for another activity."

How old do you think we are, you fucking twat? This is a report about the drinking habits of those over 30, for crying out loud! At what point are we old enough for bastard patronising fucking medicos not to offer their pointless, irritating "advice". You can go suck on something too, you silly cow.

Sometimes, satire hits the nail on the head and, today, the Daily Mash hits the spot.
Research director Dr Tom Logan said: "When it came to tobacco and alcohol we made the startling discovery that people over 30 were no longer little children who still pissed the bed.

"In fact, not only were they able to read the gigantic warnings on cigarette packets, they were also fully aware that drinking two bottles of Muscadet on an empty stomach could lead to hangovers, half-remembered unpleasantness and chronic liver disease - but they were going to do it anyway because they were adults and it was no-one else's fucking business.

"When we asked them how they knew these things, they stressed that was also none of our fucking business and that politicians should stop trying to make everyone the same..."

Quite. So, the gist of the message to politicos and medicos: it is none of your fucking business. Shut the fuck up, you fucking hypocrites.

Have a merry Christmas, you cunts.

26 comments:

verity said...

There's a special place in hell for the patronising, deeply stupid Sarah Jarvis.

"Agree a limit with a friend." OK, I think we should stick to three double whiskies or three double dry martinis each, a Sancerre with the starters and then perhaps a Chilean red with the main course. Agreed?

Or "taking time out from drinking for another activity". I know, now that we've had a couple of cocktails, let's go ten-pin bowling!

Do you think this woman votes Labour? Just a wild guess.

Anonymous said...

"To help you stick to your limits, you might want to try agreeing a limit with a friend, following one alcoholic drink with a soft drink, or taking time out from drinking for another activity."

Will bonking do? Or do you think she 'll find a reason that that might not be good for us either?

verity said...

"or taking time out from drinking for another activity."

Well, we've had a few bevvies and we should take some time out from drinking. Who wants to go car racing?

Ed said...

Sarah Jarvis used to be my GP. I never had her down as the patronising type.

Anonymous said...

Activity? The word conjures images of sandpits, ballpits and assorted climbing apparatus.

Fuck me.

Word verification: dammn

the A&E Charge Nurse said...

Overs 30's never piss the bed ?

Some middle age punters not only piss themselves but shit themselves as well.

Of course it goes without saying that the odour of pungent vomitus is even more likely to be added to this volatile, excretory mix.

If it's nobody elses business then why are the rozzers, paramedics, and hospital staff expected to mop up this mini-armeggedon every week ?

Anonymous said...

They will not shut up for one simple reason: their careers, incomes and political influence all derive from their position as experts. To shut up would be to give up their power and their money.

This is also why the AGW crowd pushes their particular line in the face of all the evidence and why so many Eurocrats are committed to "ever greater integration" whatever the cost. It is also why members of ZanuLabour can heartily applaud repressive policies which would have led to riots if Thatcher had tried to implement them.

It isn't about what's right or wrong or what serves the public good. It is never about what's right or wrong or what serves the public good. It is always always always about lining your pockets and gaining yourself a whole bunch of power over the proles.

Once you understand that, you understand why the state must be destroyed if we are to live as anything other than the slaves of bureaucrats and party apparatchiks.

mitch said...

I need a drink, binge on the rocks waiter!

Oscar said...

Work is the curse of the drinking classes.

verity said...

Yes, this was more apt when Whistler originally said it because in those days the late 1880s, working people were worked very hard and in awful, repetitive or dangerous jobs, and they did drink when they got off work, to numb the pain.

So turning the phrase around made sense. Today, the people falling down drunk in public, and urinating and having sex in Gin Lane are people who are not employed. So it doesn't make sense any more.

Too bad you're a century too late with your quote which was, indeed, funny 125 years ago.

BTW, Oscar didn't say it.

DocBud said...

Dr Sarah Jarvis MA, BM BCh, DRCOG, MRCGP

I bet she drinks Carling Black Label.

cookie said...

A and E charge nurse:
Read very carefully and you will discover that the quoted article does not *really* mean that some over 30s do not piss the bed, but that it is wrong to prohibit the consumption of alcohol by the over30s, as the vast majority are capable of understanding the risks associated with excessive indulgence in alcohol. Some choose to overindulge anyway and a very few really are not capable of understanding the risks, but perhaps we shouldn't limit the freedoms of the many because of the intellectual limitations of the few.

verity said...

You wouldn't have bossy, self-righteous people from the medical profession thinking they could order your lives it you got rid of the NHS.

You are paying for ghastly people like this to be in charge of your thoughts and decisions. As long as the NHS can claim, in its prohibitions and restrictions, to be acting as a guardian of the public purse, you will never be rid of them.

Privatise NI contributions.

Anonymous said...

Soft Drinks are full of HFCS, and funny colours

Beer is full of Barley and Hops,
and Gin is full of flavour and dreams.

Keep the soft drinks, Beer me Barman.

JuliaM said...

"Some middle age punters not only piss themselves but shit themselves as well."

When they are drunk...?

Or when they sober up and realise they are in an MRSA-infested crumbling NHS hell-hole populated by criminally-incompetent 'nurse specialists' who are quite happy to misdiagnose their xrays on the basis of a two-week consulant-led course at a top hotel, but consider it beneath them to fetch a bedpan...?

"...why are the rozzers, paramedics, and hospital staff expected to mop up this mini-armeggedon every week ?"

Well, just a thought here, but perhaps it's because you chose it as a job? If it no longer suits you, perhaps you should leave and find another.

the a&e charge nurse said...

Ahh, occupation.... this has always been a touchy subject with you, hasn't it Juliam ?

Still too afraid to let us know what you actually do ?

By the way, glad to see you have such a balanced view on the NHS, I could quote you several studies on the accuracy of x/ray interpretation [comparing junior docs and nurse practitioners, which suggest that NPs are of a very similar standard, in fact] but I doubt if you would be very receptive to such findings.

Or perhaps YOU have some published evidence to share with us vis-a-vis 'criminally incompetent nurse specialists' - no, I thought not.

JuliaM said...

"Still too afraid to let us know what you actually do ?"

Afraid..? Hardly.

It's just that a) it isn't germane to the discussion, nor any business of anyone elses, and b) I don't define or describe myself solely by refererence to my occupation, as some do.

I'm simply a person. With opinions. ;)

"..this has always been a touchy subject with you, hasn't it .."

No, I just get tetchy when the over-paid, under-worked spokesmen for the NHS and the doctoring cartels get up in my face to tell me, and all the other taxpaying adults, how they should conduct themselves so as to give the likes of you an easy shift.

Those 'middle age punters' who you so sneeringly describe above - they are the people who pay your wages. So do your job to the best of your ability, and thank God that there is an NHS.

Because with an attitude such as yours, you'd be out on the street if you were ever taken on by a fee paying organisation that counted customer service as one of its high points...

Devil's Kitchen said...

"If it's nobody elses business then why are the rozzers, paramedics, and hospital staff expected to mop up this mini-armeggedon every week ?"

Because, as JuliaM says, that is the job that you have chosen to do.

Now, if you want to reduce the severity of these "mini-armageddons" may I suggest that we start charging people?

My private medical insurance has an excess of £100 in every year so, assuming that most policies have an excess the same or larger than that, you could easily get away with charging someone £99.99 for getting their stomach pumped, for example.

The idea that these people might have to pay for the consequences of their actions might be something of a sobering thought.

But, of course, this would undermine your "free at the point of care" health service, so what to do; what to do?

Never mind, we could try it and, when it works, you could always adopt it as a "public health issue".

DK

verity said...

I would like to endorse every word of Juliam's response. How the hell would her announcing her line of employment add weight to her opinion of the NHS?

You seem only too eager to announce your own job - I will not style it a profession - which I find alarming because you clearly entertain delusions. You're a nurse and, from your chippy attitude and aspirational swanking, probably rather poor at your job.

Your employer will never rid itself of people like you as long as it is run by socialists, not capitalists. This "largest employer in Europe", needs to be made redundant and private medical care forcibly introduced - just as the NHS was forcibly introduced. It was never put to the vote, I believe.

Everyone who has NI deduction taken from their salary or their welfare should be able to nominate the private healtcare insurer of their choice. It would be the same deduction in the same amount, but would put the power of the consumer into the hands of the wage and salary earners and even welfare recipients and take it away from the government.

(Also, no one to enter Britain without proof of insurance. Most Americans would have it automatically, but others would have to buy it out of one of those airport machines before being allowed in. Anyone living in Britain who didn't have contributions deducted automatically to their healthcare provider of choice - and some people may even nominate the NHS - would not be treated, except at charity establishments.)

Surreptitious Evil said...

I fully intend limiting my alcohol intake over Christmas - to just under that level which would get me a bollocking from Mrs S-E. Although, as we are with the in-laws, that may need to be partaken of between 7:30 and 9am each day.

Merry Christmas!

the a&e charge nurse said...

Juliam - you just don't get it, do you ?

The issue is not so much how the piss heads affect me [or any other doc/nurse/paramedic] - it's how they [or their piss-head mates] affect all the other patients, some of whom are very sick.

Perhaps you [or somebody equally secretive about their trade] would like to come down to A&E when some beery lout is pissing in the sink and explain the finer points of customer care to them - what bright ideas would you suggest: shaking his knob before drying it with soft tissue paper ?

Yes, we get the "I, burp..... payshh yur fuckin wayshuz" speech from the piss-heads too.

But lets say the NHS is dismantled, do you think there is a parrallel private work force [of docs/nurses] just waiting to fill the void, no it will still be me, or people just like me wearing a slightly smarter uniform but with a whole new set of skills in processing debit card payments.

Verity - just remind me again about your hysterical take on organ donation, that never fails to cheer me up, it shows what a great handle you've got on the subject.

verity said...

Can't remember my "hysterical take" on organ transplants, but pleased to be of service cheering a sniffy, self-congratulatory lefty up.

"But lets say the NHS is dismantled, do you think there is a parrallel private work force [of docs/nurses] just waiting to fill the void,".

No. I don't think they would get anyone to fill those jobs and frankly, why bother? Beery louts pissing in the sink are unlikely to have a day job and therefore their "contributions" come from their welfare payments - in other words, through the jiggery-pokery of bookkeeping.

It's unlikely that these individuals would be able to buy private insurance - both from a monetary standpoint and from the standpoint of having an insurance company accept them.

See? Darwin's Law works!

the a&e charge nurse said...

All beery louts are unemployed, eh ?

Care to share any other lazy stereotypes with us, Verity ?

By the way, what's a "socialist".

JuliaM said...

"...explain the finer points of customer care to them..."

You don't really get the whole idea of a 'service industry', do you..?

Customer care doesn't mean you let the customers do as they please! If they are abusive and disruptive, withdraw the care! Have them arrested. No-one will fault you for that. Good grief....

"...with a whole new set of skills in processing debit card payments."

You'll need a whole lot more new skills than that.

"By the way, what's a "socialist"."

You ought to know. They are responsible for the current woes you have about the health 'service'.

verity said...

Re Juliam - well said that woman!

Charge Nurse - First: it's OK. The business office processes credit card transactions. Not nurses. This is how it's done in the private sector. A whole business regulated by the market, not some toking Trot minister who has never had a real job in his/her life.

"All beery louts are unemployed, eh?"

Sink pissers are not sought-after in the private sector and probably not the public sector, either. But whether he is employed or unemployed, he should be able to deploy his NI contribution, whether real, from employment, or notional, from socialist bookkeeping ledgerdemain, to buy private insurance (and all insurance would be private, including the NHS).

So whichever healthcare insurer sink pissers choose is going to look at lifestyles and numbers of late night visits to A&E departments. Regular abusers of emergency services, whether occasioned by violence or incapacity through alcohol and/or drugs, are obviously going to be required to pay higher premiums. Otherwise A&E visits would not be covered.

This is how the private sector works. Think of socialism and then think of the exact opposite. That is the private sector.

Patrick said...

Verity,

Well said that point about insurance schemes... The problem with the whole crud infested public sector, is that the bigger it gets the more people require its shite service... And the people they employ, the more they fill them up with all their community cohesion craptrap... That then in turn foist down their poor kids throat..

Regretfully this prissy pious mantra is with us just as long as we have governments...

On an aside point... I mean rents are now so high in London that wage earners on £23,000 pa are now encouraged to make a housing benefit claim...