Saturday, December 29, 2007

Thrust! Splat! Waaaaaaaah, you got it in my eye...

Apparently the UN is going to team up with Marvel Comics.
In a move reminiscent of storylines developed during the second world war, the UN is joining forces with Marvel Comics, creators of Spider-Man and the Incredible Hulk, to create a comic book showing the international body working with superheroes to solve bloody conflicts and rid the world of disease.

The comic, initially to be distributed free to 1m US schoolchildren, will be set in a war-torn fictional country and feature superheroes such as Spider-Man working with UN agencies such as Unicef and the “blue hats”, the UN peacekeepers.

Yeah? Given that children in trouble spots around the world seem to be more used to seeing UN staff's purple helmets than their blue ones, what will it be called—Super-Pederast? Pimp-man? The Mighty Kiddie-Fucker? Captain Child-Rape? Or perhaps The Incredible You-Can-Have-Your-Food-When-You've-Sucked-My-Cock?

Still, it'll be free so I imagine that the recipients of this filthy propaganda will have no compunction about tossing this rag straight into the round file.

Now, go and visit EU Referendum for some more excoriating swearing-free bile; after all, you wouldn't want to miss Helen's take on the mighty Captain Euro now, would you? But, to whet your appetite, here's a snifter...
In other words, the evil enemy of the wondrous Captain Euro and his superlative team that consists of people who are Gaia enthusiasts, fabulous gymnasts and people who get their scientific ideas from science fiction is—ta-dah—a businessman, who is clearly crooked, as all businessmen are.

The man who creates employment, provides financial services and adds to the wealth of wherever he happens to be (incidentally, what is wrong with international business which breaks down national barriers?) is evil, evil, evil. The goodies are people who prat around as parasites on the body politic, financed by the taxpayer.

The rest is just as good. Although, of course, Helen does miss the point that the evil Dr D Vider—who opposes the very Aryan Captain Euro—also looks extremely Jewish: just look at that nose. Not that the EU would ever be anti-Semitic in any way, of course...

7 comments:

Fidothedog said...

How about Capt. Inept, where he turns up an takes a back hander off the government then stands around whilst lots of people die.

Mark Wadsworth said...

The UN is a load of shit, we ought to leave that as well.

Tito said...

You need some sleep DK, she doesn't miss that point at all.

"Their main enemy Dr D. Vider has a distinctly semitic look and resembles the villains of cartoons in Der Stürmer of evil memory. He is assisted by “moustachioed, dusky-skinned cohorts”. Ooops!
"

Captain Euro said...

I SHALL SAVE DARFUR WITH A BEAUTIFUL IMPRESSIONIST PAINTING OF THE WONDERFULLY EUROPEAN KIRKWHELPINGTON AFTER I WIN GOLD IN THE MASTURBATORY 30 SECOND DASH!

TO THE EUROPHILEOPEDE!

Gary said...

God, that sounds, well, deathly dull. Like a less well thought through version of Captain Planet.

If they put in some political sub-machinations and conspiracy theories and plenty of characters with 'grey' motivations (no, not the usual pen-pushers) then it might just tempt me to have a look. Though somehow I feel the final say on this will come from somebody who's never read a single comic book in their life.

Anonymous said...

Good God, but Captain Urine is a pile of wank.

And what's with giving Dr. D. Vider an eyepatch? Is the EU saying that everyone with a physical disability is evil or is it just the people with visual impairment?

FlipC said...

Dear UN,

We the huddled refugees of this war-torn country really liked the comic you have sent to us all; we do however have some requests for the next issue.
1) Please could you use matt paper instead of gloss.
2) Instead of book form could we have it in roll form instead please

These changes will allow us to appreciate this fine work so much more

Thank-you