We all have our crosses to bear, and my bane in life is the BBC, so much so I even started blogging about it at BBC Biased just to ease my tortured mental state.
Like a character in some gothic horror fiction, you know you can never escape the clutches of the ‘fear’, so likewise everywhere I go it’s everywhere, in Dixon’s or some banal catchphrase from Little Britain doing the rounds in the office ,or some crappy football analogy in the pub. In fact we all pay for this dire drivel of unwholesome noises and dark mutterings that spouts from our ‘Premier Public Service Broadcaster’.
“Did you watch East Enders last night Kel?” screams Sharon at the checkouts in between the “I done twenty pints last night and got off with Gaz” and “Rach is up the duff again” stories.You get the picture.
So when Devil’s Kitchen offered me a chance to release these inner daemons with their seductive, sexy prose, like an inmate in Arkham Asylum I took a chance and said why not!
Little did I realise that the BBC, like some dark cosmic horror, had something very special in store for me this morning.
It isn’t often I watch Breakfast TV, but this morning I caught hold of a glimpse of the mind numbing Breakfast on the Brown Broadcasting Corporation morning schedule.
It use to be so simple, news and sport with a little bit of banter regarding the days events, keeping the British Public informed and up to date on all the current events. It’s a style that seems to work on other news channels across the globe.
Not so with BBC Breakfast.
Apart from a brief ‘round-up’ of the ‘news’ of the day, and I mean as brief as possible so you haven’t a clue what the ‘news' was, we then get on to such ‘weighty’ subjects such as Chris, Carol, and a bicycle made for two , the ‘fact’ that the Firefighter's rap is on-message , Breakfast with the Prime Minister (snot sandwich anybody or would you prefer ear wax?), Fashion and the flood victims when they help their do-gooding mates out in free promotion, which seems to be every ten minutes and Team-building the Breakfast way.
So forget the what is going on in Iraq or the misfits in Government, its a light weight breakfast full of puff pieces and non-starter stories, topped with the sickly presenting skills of Dermot Murnaghan , Kate Silverton , Bill Turnbull and Sian Williams
Dermot says "he's discovered it's like no other programme he's ever worked on".Indeed it must be strange working for a 'news and current affairs programme' that has almost no news in it!
No wonder the United Kingdom is becoming the most politically backward nation in Europe with the ‘steady diet of nothing’ that makes up 95% of BBC output.
Not content with that, then there is the nauseating plug’s for other BBC shows that is the staple diet for this waste of time and effort. Today's featured plugs where for Top Gear linked in with Lewis Hamilton's drive in last night in the “reasonable priced car paid by the mugs that fork out for the telly tax” ,while at the same time plugging another BBC ‘brand’, Sports Personality of the Year, then its followed by another bout of the horrible Strictly Come Dancing which seems to be a daily feature of BBC Breakfast, and finally the almost ‘Lovecraftian horror’ that is Spooks .
Indeed the master of cosmic horror Howard Phillips Lovecraft couldn’t come up with anything comparable to the eldritch, noisome, cyclopean terror that is Breakfast. In fact I rather drill out my eyeballs than sit through three hours of this madness.
It seems that the grasping Al Beeb isn’t content with the daylight robbery that is the £135.50 fraud called the Licence Fee now that ‘product placement’ is the 'big thing' in Minitruth, which is of course against the Charter, is why this heap of steaming manure called ‘Morning News’ is allowed to continue. It is enough to drive anybody to appear on the Jeremy Kyle Show
It’s bad enough that we get those highly expensive and awful adverts telling us about the latest goings on in Albert Square or other atrocities that the BBC feels fit to call ‘entertainment’, but now it is beyond even a Mark Steele ‘joke’.
Still as long as their pals in the House Of Cad’s get free tickets to Glasto to the tune of £68,000, then no wonder they get away with this.
So forget 'Hostel' or 'Saw' I dare ANYBODY to sit from 6:00 to 9:15 am watching this lunacy and remain sane long enough.......