Thursday, November 01, 2007

There's not enough humour in the world...

... so to kick off November properly, your humble Devil would like to draw your attention to a couple of parodies that he found quite amusing.

First, the Home Office has had a few problems with statistics recently, as Olly's Onions noticed.
The Home Office last night admitted that it did not know its arse from its elbow. The uncertainty came as it emerged that officials had been unable to produce accurate migration figures for the last ten years.

Migration minister Liam Byrne said: "The public is right to expect the government to have the right migration statistics. Two big changes are needed to get to grips with this: one, we must identify our arse properly, and two, we need a new system to track down our elbow. In the next couple of weeks we will announce exactly how we do it."

The trouble is, the Liam Byrne quote is unnervingly spot-on...

The second piece was one I discovered via Not A Sheep, and comes from the high quality satirists at The Daily Mash: go and read the whole thing.
PRIME minister Gordon Brown has drawn a red line around the savoury cheese sandwich on his desk and warned the EU to back off.

Mr Brown said no more sandwiches would be surrendered to unelected bureaucrats and pledged to defend Britain's long-term sandwich interests.

The prime minister told the House of Commons: "Law and order, immigration, our economy, our environment and our national defence are all now safely in the hands of some nice Dutch people.

"But on the core issues, I faced up to my European counterparts and said, 'if you so much as look at this sandwich or any other British sandwich, I will write a column in The Sun'."
...

Although Mr Brown dismissed the Tory attacks, he was forced to concede that the red line will have to redrawn after every bite, and when the sandwich is finished he has to send the pen back to Brussels.

And now, onto the depressing shit...

UPDATE: this Daily Mash pisstake of Apple made me laugh too. At least, I think it's a pisstake...

UPDATE 2: and here's one that my colleague, The Nameless One, is bound to enjoy...

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

This is why I published my two very humourous books:
WISDOM IN SMILE - by Askin Ozcan
ISBN 142577153X Xlibris
www.xlibris.com/WisdomInSmile.html

Twenty two excellent humorous stories.
--------------------------------
THE SECOND VENICE by Askin Ozcan
ISBN 1598000888 Outskirts Press
http://www.outskirtspress.com/thesecondvenice

The story of a fake Venice built by
Pshht Cola and McBigBite, as the Italian Govt. limits the number of tourists to Venice, to protect the City.
Was No.1 among top rated books in ITALY MAGAZINE.
--
Both books available at major internet bookshops.