Thursday, November 22, 2007

Taking the piss...

... is, it seems to me, precisely what staff at the DVLA are doing.
MPs have criticised "amazingly high" levels of sick leave among staff at the DVLA and the Driving Standards Agency.

On average, employees had three weeks a year sick leave, although that figure was bumped up by "a few people on long-term sickness," MPs said.

Three weeks? Three fucking weeks of sick leave a year? On average? What the fuck? Who the hell authorises this?
Public accounts committee chairman Edward Leigh said it was surprising the agencies could "function adequately".

The vast majority of people who have dealt with the DVLA might well say that it doesn't "function adequately" at all, and now we know why: because it's staffed by workshy, lazy cunts.

Either that, or they deliberately try to recruit ill people, and I doubt that they could: it'd be illegal discrimination against healthy applicants, surely?

Given that working for the state so obviously makes people sick, managers would be doing these people a favour by sacking them; then they can go and get a job that doesn't make them ill.

Fucking hellski.


Mark Wadsworth said...

I'm starting to like Edward Leigh.

Henry North London said...

Love the advert I have written a piece about governmental organisations today too and the overwhelming theme is incompetence.

Its at my blog. I am just sick of it. This government couldn't organise a vertical urination in a brewery nor could any of the sodding civil service departments and any other governmental dept. I swore aswell.

DocBud said...

"because it's staffed by workshy, lazy cunts."

Well, duh, it is in Wales, after all.

Henry North London said...

Oh for fucks sake look at the last paragraph of the BBC page link you put up.

"We are also improving procedures to help minimise absences and allow staff to return to work as quickly as possible, for example through better management training."

Let me translate that

Why the fuck aren't the slave drivers working hard enough.

Oh it makes my blood boil The fucking bastards don't know what the fuck to do.

genhgis pinko-khan said...

Out of all the incompetent shower in Blair's government, mostly continued under Brown, there was one person who stood out as being half-honest.

Do you remember Estelle Morris, the short-time Education Secretary ?

She resigned because she thought she was 'not up to the job'.

About the only honest person I have been able to spot in this government.

countdruncula said...

I have a friend in the civil service who swears that many of her colleagues have bogus IBS complaints that they use time and time again to get out of attending the coal face. Sure, it's an embarrassing ailment to feign, but not one that many managers are likely to quizz an employee about at length! Also, it can be invoked at short notice if you feel the need for a siesta. Genius! :)

Roger Thornhill said...


Well, it COULD be down to very poor management training, or should I say very poor management and "supervisors" who may be cruel, gossipy, insecure, screwed-up psychopaths. I do not know.

High rates of sickness shows lack of good management for sure, either driving staff round the bend, obliterating any form of work ethic or just not having the backbone to fire poor performers.

I want to bid for the DVLA contract. I am certain I could sort out the whole shebang and run it for a fraction it costs now.

LFB_UK *The Legend* said...

For my sins, I worked in the late eighties in the sily service, at was then the AA/AO role, pretty basic. My manager at the time told anyone who would listen he took two weeks sick leave every year wether or not he needed it. He sited low pay, low morale, and management that couldn't manage the old piss up in a brewery.

Seems that things have not changed in the last twenty years. To many cheifs and not enough indians, the higher ups always get the big bucks, yet the first to the firing line are always the underlings.

vervet said...

I'm with docbud.

The place is located in Swansea dammit - what else do we expect ?

Robin said...

Look at the ultimate bosses of the DVLA. It`s the Department of Transport.The senior mandarins at the Department of Transport are indolent,traitorous,lying, obfuscating,self serving,cowardly, sneaky, bullying,halfwits.
Normally I dont swear, but you can replace the last word with fuckwits if you want, I hate them so.If they took 21 days off it would be a good thing for the country. If they were tortured then hanged it would be even better.They take good money from the taxpayer then dont care if they shaft us.Ebolas too good for them.

mike said...

Kicking a poorly person when they're down, not on. I have been poorly of late and it's not very nice.

Robin said...

Who`s is kicking whom ?

AD627 said...

We should abolish vehicle excise duty, which is a ludicrous tax. It is extremely bureaucratic and it is inefficient to collect and enforce. Worse, it fails to target the externalities of congestion and pollution, which mnotoring can cause.

Abandoning VED would allow a decent proportion of these malingering buggers to be fired overnight.

Vicola said...

3 weeks is the average? Christ almighty, I didn't even take 3 weeks the year I broke my kneecap and I was in a full length plaster cast for 6 weeks. If I was taking an average of 3 weeks (and this must mean that some people are taking a whole lot longer) then my backside would be hauled into the MDs office for a sound kicking. And I would have earned it. It's about all I'd have fucking well earned having skived off for half the year. Workshy shower of shites. I notice that despite chronic absence problems they still managed to post a fine out to me for letting my car tax lapse.

Roger Thornhill said...

ad627 (a bad year)

Yes, now we have electronic MoT and the Insurance database online, the VED as a form of "visible certificate" has had its day.

The DVLA could just be used to send out MoT reminders, which is actually far more useful.

Keatonmask said...

Oi, less of the Wales/Swansea snipes you bastards. I am from Swansea (ok I work in London now) and I have had 1 day sick in the last two years. Its not the fact its in Swansea its the fact that it is a poorly run, public sector organisation. You will find that a lot of the public sector runs with huge sickness percentages.

DocBud said...

Little Devil on Left Shoulder (LDLS) Go on, son, get in there.
Little Angel on Right Shoulder (LARS) Behave.
Me Can't I just note that they still don't teach English grammar in Welsh schools?
LARS No, now come away.
LDLS Go on, son, both barrels; independence, 10ft wire fences, minefields, the lot.
LARS I've warned you before about mocking the afflicted.
Me (Pouting) Oh, alright then. I'll be nice.

Keatonmask said...

OK, I walked into that. The grammar was awful (comment was typed quickly at work), but if you take issue with everybody who comments with grammatical errors or typos then you are going to waste a lot of time.

I appreciate the humour though ;)