Monday, November 05, 2007

MPs' pay: they're at it again

It seems that MPs are, once again, pushing for a massive pay rise.
MPs face a battle with Gordon Brown to secure an above-inflation pay increase when the official recommendations on parliamentary salaries are published this month.

Ministers have already received a report from the Senior Salaries Review Body, which helps to set MPs’ pay and allowances every three years. It recommends that MPs receive an increase to the basic salary of £60,277 of more than the current rate of inflation, according to an official who has seen it.

Mr Brown is determined to hold increases to the same inflation-matching rate as that offered to nurses and other public sector workers. The Government will also oppose a suggestion that taxpayers fund MPs’ constituency offices directly. However, ministers are likely to accept that the incidental expenditure allowance should be brought under control.

MPs' expenses averaged about £134,000 last year on top of their £60,000 salaries: as far as I am concerned, the corrupt fuckers are being paid about £60,000 more than they are worth anyway.
The scene is now set for a clash with backbenchers from all parties. Some want their salaries raised to about £100,000, arguing that MPs have fallen far behind equivalent professions.

Yes, that cropped up a in December 2006: as you can imagine, your humble Devil was not very fucking happy at all.
Just fuck off would you? Go away and fuck yourselves to death, go on. Top civil servants shouldn't be paid £100k either; they should all be sacked, the cunts.

Look, you bunch of arseholes, you get a really good salary and you get a disgustingly generous, and unaffordable, pension scheme; that's the pay off, OK? You—and I'm talking to both MPs and those lazy, sick, fuckarse civil servants here—get a pension scheme that the rest of us could never afford in our wildest dreams and that's why you get paid less. That's the trade-off: do you understand?

And, naturally, the poor little Greek boy had a bit to say too.
Sir Bufton Tufton is correct. It really is scandalous that our elected representatives are so poorly remunerated for their 160 days' work [PDF] every year. Not only should they be paid more, but on Fridays they should be transported back to their constituencies with great pomp and dignity on litters carried by lucky constituents randomly selected from the national ID database, with cheering crowds lining their routes and a train of elephants and peacocks following in their wake. Once back among their people, they should be sent the fairest virgins of the town to give them oral pleasure (non-virgins may be suitable substitutes for Essex MPs) and their bedchambers strewn with rose petals to ensure a sound and restful night.

Even these modest proposals would hardly constitute proper recognition for their selfless public service, but they would be a powerful reminder to our masters of the gratitude and quiet goodwill that millions of us bear in our hearts.

Actually, I think that there are several reasons why MPs should take a salary cut, frankly. The first is, of course, pure fucking spite: I hate them all and hope they die but, failing that, making their lives a little more unpleasant will just have to do.

Second, if they are having to spend their time scrabbling around to earn a living then they are not in the bastard Parliament, dreaming up new laws to shackle us with.

Third, as the Englishman point out, there is no shortage of people queuing up to be MPs.
Being a simple sort I wonder if the pay is so bad why do so many want to do the job? Simple supply and demand seems to indicate they are too well paid already.

Quite. Knock the salaries down until we have only the number that we need.

But, basically, fuck 'em: they are a bunch of evil, money-grubbing, corrupt, little shits who should be sterilised and then beaten through the streets of London, whilst people fling dog-turds, spiked with glass, at the fuckers...


The Great Simpleton said...

I wish I had time to write a lot on this, especially when you see what they (don't) do:

Fewer laws (good), more SI's (very, very, very bad (lazy )) which they don't scrutinise, more pages of legislation (very, very bad).

Here's a thought. Pay them what they earned in "civvy" street or what their peers still in those jobs do, a bit like Skinner. So, if someone useful like a succesful "Captain of Industry" comes along pay them what they were on before. Likelise Union reps, polytchenic teachers and other assorted misfits.

Anyone who worked for a "think tank" especially those wankers at IPPR, or as an "MP's researcher" , should be banned from standing for Parliament until they have done a real job for 10 years.

Henry North London said...

Another pay rise?

Parasites... Vote them all out this time

Vote out your sitting MP and get someone else in

That'll show them

I totally agree with the sentiments expressed in this post.

Mark Wadsworth said...

When I get round to writing a Bill of Rights, it will say quite clearly that MPs pay will be set at average full time earnings, no more and no less.

And no expenses either, except maybe a railfare from their constituency to London once a week (or whatever).

Anonymous said...

No DK , you are being unkind . I thank MP's deserve a very large payrithe , pretherablwy backdated

cos they are such nithe people

I know they have our intereth at hearth

mitch said...

Mps pay should rise with the lowest in society and at the same rate.Then we would see some real action.As loads of these fuckwits want the job let them bid for it lowest salary gets the job just like they hand out contracts to their friends.
Then lock the doors and bomb the bastards!!!

Shug Niggurath said...

I'm awfully new to this blogging lark, but I spewed out a bit more than I was comfy posting in your comments DK... so apologies in advance for linking to my wee part of the blogosphere.

Prodicus said...

Zero salary for MPs and expenses reimbursed on production of receipts only, just like real people. It is a privilege to represent the people, not a job, so get a real job in the real (outside) world so that you have some clue about something other than political squabbling, and walk alongside the people on whose behalf you are legislating.

Parliament should sit on a few days a year only, with MPs released from the day job (like the TA) to interrogate ministers on the few, the very few, laws they propose and the House should refuse most of those. Too much gumment altogether. Too many arses on the green (and red) benches and too much talking out of same. Too many employees on the public teat. Fire most of them and then you can propose a nice small budget based on a few flat taxes.

Less is more.

Trixy said...

They deserve a 75% pay cut since they have outsourced 75% of their work...

Although, if you left it to market forces I bet you could get away with an internship style system of reimbursement since there are always far more applicants than places. And that would take away the incentive for little squirts to go into politics thinking that being an MP or similar is a career.

sjm said...

Try reading The Moon Is A Harsh Mistress by Robert Heinlein - one of the suggestions in that book is that anyone wanting to be a politician should pay the State a regular fee for the privilege; this would also ensure that few people would do the job, so there would be very, very small government!

Chris said...

My own peculiar MP - his middle name rhymes with wanker - claimed expenses of £130k last year.

Apparently, he employs "four and a half full-time staff".

Hmmm... does he mean four administrators and a midget?

Newmania said...

I disagree , an MP is an important job and should be paid more . On the other hand there should be far less of them. The low pay of senior Polticians in particular is actually dangerous and I belive may well effect actual Policy given their need to go to America and cash in.

Why should the PM get what is it £150 k ? and Jonathan Ross Millions . Its ridiculous. I also think we should publicly support ordinary people in the MP carreer path as it has become the province of the wealthy elite since the Unions got castrated .

I cannot be doing with this poltica of envy .Pay fewer properly.

Vicola said...

My brother works for an MP. He did a 4 year course at uni, he has experience, he works his arse off writing the MPs speeches, doing their research, running their office, dealing with any crisis that comes along. He works bloody long hours and does 4 times the amount of work that she does. He is having to live in London so that he can get to work. His salary? £23,500. A quarter of what the lazy twat will get if these fuckwits get their way. ANd you can bet your arse that he won't see a 40k payrise if they do. Not only that but it now takes him twice as long to do anyhting thanks to the new ruling in Westminster that allows MPs to barge to the front of the queue for everything. He is not a happy camper at all.

Bock the Robber said...

Count yourself lucky.

Look at the pay-rises our crowd of fucking chancers awarded themselves.

Our esteeemed PM, after patronising the nurses and urging wage-restraint, received an increase amounting to nearly as much as a staff nurse's annual salary.

The crooked fuckers.