On Monday, when George stood up and pledged to abolish the Death Tax for all except millionaires, you would have been able to hear the cheer from the top of the Pepsi Max Big One. Tyler screamed with delight, and Mrs T was only able to restore order by punching him in the face.
Why? What is it that Osborne has announced?
Fuck all. Very far from announcing the total abolition of IHT—with a fucking ludicrous tapering Capital Gains Tax—as the Taxpayers' Alliance anticipated, all he has done is to raise the threshold to £1 million.
Let us remind ourselves of the figures: in 2006/07, the state spent £586.6 billion of our money: of that, £3.9 billion (0.6%) was raised through IHT. And Nibbled-Nose George won't even be losing all of that.
I have talked about his inability to point out these glaring figures on QuestionTime already, but what I didn't comment on was how he intends to raise that sum. After all, he is not changing the overall tax burden, oh no; the Tories won't do that for at least their first government.
George is going to put a set flat charge on non-doms—the betes noire of the moment—of £25,000. Nice. Let us make one thing absolutely fucking clear here: non-doms pay tax.
Non-doms pay UK tax on all of their UK earnings and savings. Non-doms pay UK Council Tax on any UK property that they own. Non-doms pay UK Fuel Duty on any petrol that they use whilst driving on UK roads. Non-doms pay UK VAT on any purchases that they make in the UK.
To see the Tories jumping on the bandwagon of demonising certain areas of society is both pathetic and worrying. Who's next, eh?
So, let's just summarise, shall we? Osborne is raising the IHT threshold to £1 million and then aiming to pay for this by levying an extremely regressive tax on people who already pay a legitimate amount.
And Tyler is excited by this? For fuck's sake.
The reason that many Tories have gone utterly over-the-top on this, fundamentally, is because they were losing the faith. Even those standing behind Cameron were really beginning to doubt that he was, in fact, a Tory—that he did believe in low tax and personal freedom.
This pathetically tiny tax "cut", leaked just ahead of the Conference, was not to put NuLabour on the back foot: it was a (miniscule) concession to the Tory faithful, to ease what might otherwise have been a somewhat sticky Conference for Cameron.
And it worked. Cameron didn't need to give away very much and the party leapt on it with gleeful whoops; yet the sheer paucity of talent and knowledge in the Conservative Front Bench was revealed in Osborne's extremely timid QuestionTime performance.
The Tory faithful will no doubt whine about how "Cameron can't be seen to be making cuts because the populace would get scared and would see the Tories as the nasty party helping the evil rich and fucking the poor up the arsehole without lube, blah, blah, fucking blah."
First, the populace were overjoyed at the sniff of a tax cut. As I have argued before, they are ready to hear the low-tax argument.
Second, if anything helps the rich—even if it is only the moderately rich (the really rich don't pay IHT: they can afford to find ways around it)—it is the raising of the IHT threshold.
Third, there is a way that the Tories could cut taxes and appeal to the very poorest sections of the electorate, including the Labour stalwarts that they so need to convert. It is a measure that would dispel the myth of the "nasty party" pretty comprehensively. Can you guess what it is?
It is a simple policy and it is one that is so important and so morally right that I would (probably) even vote Tory next time to see it implemented. Are you listening, Iain?—because I know that you'd love to convert me!
It is this: raise the Personal Tax Allowance to £12,000, thus removing those working full-time on the Minimum Wage, for example, from the income tax system entirely.
In 2006/07, Income Tax brought £152 billion into the Treasury but, by the time you have factored in the cost of collection and the benefits paid out again, I am willing to bet that the net income from those earning under £12k is either zero or even in negative figures. So, come on, Tory-boys, grow a pair.
If you want to make the poor richer and give them aspiration, stop taking their fucking money off them, you thieving bastard fucking politico cunts.
Compared to this very simple and vote-winning policy, the Tory threshold rise on IHT looks like the pathetic, symbolic gesture that it so obviously is. That otherwise sensible Tories should greet George's turd-in-a-bucket announcement as though it were the Second Coming is utterly lame.
Wake up, guys: you've been duped.