Monday, October 29, 2007

Lazy, scrounging, feckless baby-machines #94

Your humble Devil would like to introduce you to one of the pearls of Britain: so, please, put your hands together for Alison Goulding.
Scrounger Alison Goulding rakes in thousands of pounds a year of your hard-earned cash - but she still wants MORE.

And she's even praying for one of her EIGHT children to be diagnosed with a serious medical condition so she can carry on freeloading.

Alison - who is five months pregnant - reckons she's been left struggling on the breadline by uncaring benefits chiefs.

Yet her family pocket more than £20,000 a year in handouts, even though none of them has done a day's work this century. They pay NOTHING for their three-bed house, which boasts a new ultra-modern kitchen.

The home is littered with state-of-the-art goodies including FIVE tellies - including a £1,000 widescreen - a hi-fi, Sky TV, two Play-Station 2s and four DVD players.

And their huge garden boasts a full-size trampoline, two sets of swings and FIVE mountain bikes.

But Alison, 38, insists she hasn't got enough to get by.

My heart fucking bleeds, it really does.
Shameless Alison revealed she is jubilant she is pregnant again - despite complaining about the overcrowding at home.

And she insisted it was her "duty" to have child No 9.

She said: "I love giving birth - it's always so quick for me.

"People say I should stop breeding but it's not their business.

No, no, no, Alison: you really haven't got the hang of this, have you? As I pointed out earlier this morning, everyone is in hock to the state. You, however, have run up a rather larger debt than most and, ultimately, since we productive people pay for your benefits, you are effectively in hock to us, the taxpayers.

Therefore, it is precisely our business whether you have more children or not, you fucking bitch. I mean, seriously, have you no shame? I suppose not: shame is not a popular attribute these days; in fact, people like Alison Goulding seem to be utterly unfamiliar with the concept.
Alison also blasted her local Broxtowe Borough Council.

She said: "My sister has nine kids and the council gave her two houses knocked into one.

"Then shemoved to Cornwall and the new council bought a private house for them.

"I don't know why they can't do that here."

Alison also hinted she was losing out to immigrants.

She said: "There were these lovely four-bed houses round the corner but an Asian family got one.

"I'm not racist but...

Oh dear fucking hell: do we know what's coming next? I think we do...
... I think we should look after our own first."

Ian added: "We're definitely not racist - I've got a distant cousin who's black."

Indeed, Ian: and I imagine that many of your best friends are black and, don't tell me, they actively encourage you to call them "nigger" and they laugh uproariously when you tell dodgy racist jokes, yeah? Something like that, is it?

Fucking hellski.
The couple are now considering taking the council to the European Court of Human Rights.

Alison said: "We only want what's fair."

Well, Alison, if it were up to me, you would get absolutely no extra money for having children. Under my preferred system, you and Ian would have a Citizens Basic Income (CBI) of £5,200 per year and that would be your fucking lot.

And I would consider that more than fair, especially since we will have to pay for the education of your massive brood too.
And Alison defended claiming so many handouts by saying: "Even if we could work, we'd be worse off because you have to pay for childcare and rent.

"We just try to make sure we get enough benefits to get by."

If the list of hardware in the house is correct, this is a simple lie. TVs are not a necessity, let alone five of them. Playstations, DVD players, hi-fis and Sky TV are also not necessities. Were I Broxtowe Borough Council, I would be tempted to cut their benefits as those who can afford these luxuries obviously do not need this level of benefits.

But herein lies the crux of the matter, of course. The marginal deduction rates mean that it is cheaper for these two fucks to live on benefits, popping sprogs out left, right and centre, than for them to go out to work. The children are their meal ticket.

The CBI, as I envision it, would replace all other benefits and would only be paid to those over 16. That means that there is no reward or advantage for popping out children. At the same time, you would not lose your CBI if you got a job. But, this system is expensive, even at the minimal levels that I have outlined.

Wat Tyler has been looking at the government figures, especially at Incapacity Benefit, and I recommend that you read his whole post. Amongst other things, he absolutely gives the lie to the idea that there are no jobs out there: it is a lie that was exploded in an excellent comment by Dizzy Thinks.
If we get the indigenous population that can work into work with more stick and less carrot, then it will mean a less fluid job market for immigrants because it will no longer be economically attractive for them to come to Britain.

After all, immigrant labour, as important as it is, only occurs when the market conditions exist to encourage it. Brown has created a job economy reliant on it because he has actively encouraged large sections of the 'born here' population to sit on their backsides, or in the case of the young think they're too good to stack shelves in supermarkets.

We don't have an immigration problem in Britain. We have a benefit system problem. Tackling the cause not the sympton is the way forward.

This is, of course, precisely correct and, with politicos banging on about immigration and yet utterly unable to do anything about it—hamstrung as they are by the EU—now might be a good time to make that connection.

After all, if you believe that immigration is a problem, and we cannot legislate against it, then ensuring that Britain is less attractive to come to from an economic perspective is all that you can do (quite apart from being the free-market solution).

Anyway, back to Wat Tyler's post which is, as usual, chock-full of statistics and, although he ascribes the same problems as I, he proposes a slightly different system.
That's clearly barmy. But more fundamentally, it's barmy to have a welfare system that incentivises people like Alison to stay off work copulating and eating Pop Tarts.

And what life chances will any of her nine kids have? I think we know the answer- at best, they will become the welfare dependents and porch builders of the future; at worst, they will end up inside.

Let's take it as read that there is no magic bullet. But the current welfare system for people of working age is a social and fiscal disaster.

So what to do?

As a minimum, we should abandon the arbitrary and wildly unrealistic definition of poverty as 60% of median income, and revert to the traditional 50%. Nobody would starve at that level and it would hugely increase the relative attractiveness of paid employment. What's more, it would save taxpayers about £50bn pa, or £2 grand pa per British household (see this blog- £50bn equals abolishing Inheritance Tax and slashing 13 pence off the standard rate of Income Tax).

In addition, Frank Field's four key welfare reforms (blogged here) are all worth persuing:
  • welfare benefits to be time limited, as under Clinton's reforms in the US

  • authority over welfare spending to be localised- closer to the coal face (again cf US)

  • incapacity benefit to be decided by local officials, not doctors, but current recipients to retain benefit for a year after finding paid work

  • immigration to be tightly controlled so more jobs can go to current welfare recipients already here

Painless? In the short-term, no. But nobody has come up with a real world alternative. And unless we implement a radical programme along these lines we'll find ourselves dealing with more and more Alisons.

And her kids.

All the way to eternity.

And that, frankly, is not an attractive option. So, whether we go with Tyler's reforms or mine, something must be done—if only for the sake of my blood pressure...


Roger Thornhill said...

Parasite: ... I think we should look after our own first."

Two answers to that one

a) She is certainly not one of my "own".
b) She should take her own advice and look after her own by earning money.

Even before we reform welfare, the simple maxim of "no more benefits or housing if you expand your household while already on benefits" would kick such freeloaders into touch.

The council seems able to keep this brood mare in a 3 bed house, so at least they are not as STUPID as Cornwall.

Fidothedog said...

DK, agree with much of what you said, but she is small change at 20K+ a year as a drain on the state.

A far bigger drain would be many of those shiftless indolent bastards in the house of commons who can clear 100K+ a year in expenses.

That said if the uber-state is daft enough to supply it, who can be suprised if people put there hands out and try to grab as much as possible.

Devil's Kitchen said...


I know she is small change: that is why I have not advocated hanging her from the nearest lamp post...


Newmania said...

Oh yes indeed DK.Every effort to get people back to work has failed for one simple reason . They don`t have to .

There must be stick with the carrot which means a cut off point and in her case i wiould suggest making it somwhere in the uterus

Newmania said...


funny isn`t it , Old Labour and the BNP arguing about who has the most right to other people`s money

Nurse Anne (militant medical nurse) said...

Way to go DK. Great Post. You are right about her kids growing up to be like her. The whole welfare thing is completely generational. Where is their incentive to get an education and aspire to a good job? They don't even want to be bothered with vocational training. They know they can do fuck all but stuff their faces with process foods and procreate and still come out on top.

I have seen how children raised in these kinds of families turn out and it ain't pretty. My husband's younger cousin comes to mind.

I kicked the little 22 year old jobless bastard who though it was his right to not work and sponge off of my household straight to the curb.

Had him in tears calling me a cow because he was going to have to get a job and keep it and pay rent rather than play warcraft all day. According to him it was all so unfair. Ha ha ha ha ha.

Anonymous said...

I think we taxpayers should visit this hussy with a humungous big cork...

chris said...

I don't think that many people have a big problem with her popping out the sprogs, its her body.

What annoys is that she expects us to pay for them, and that they will in all probability grow up expecting to be able to scrounge their whole lives as well. Where she paying for them then fine, but becoming a baby factory simply scrougne benefits to sustain her luxary lifestyle is just not on.

mister scruff said...

and look at all the time-pressured dual-working couples , working their arses off to pay the mortgage, and limiting themselves to 1 or 2 kids as a result.

BPP said...

A healthy regimen of early-morning acid baths would solve the problem of this brood of scratters without any further expense to the public purse (minus the cost of the acid, o'course).

Alternatively, if your rat gets up the duff, you sling the mass of writhing scroungers it produces into a sack and throw them in the canal. Are we out of sacks? Or canals?

Asc.Goulding said...

I am related to Alison Goulding she is my aunty and Lol to all this, Obviously none of you have actually seen the house for yourself then? its hardly "Luxury" I love the way the media exagerates the things and before you say im another "Scrounger" Im 17yrs old, I go to college, have a part time job and train 5 days a week as a semi-proffesional sprinter. Its not my problem what my aunty does but the whole story has been exaggerated. So I just thought I would inform you. Take care

P.S Enough of the harsh talk please you cant blame children, so before you talk about these people like their animals they are human just like you aswell, dont find it very nice hearing these kind of things about my family.

Jim'll said...

im sorry to say this but your family are scum and deserve to be killed. like many others