Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Emily Benn: an apology

A few days ago, I laid into Emily Benn, suggesting that her youth—and the fact that she is still at school—might have in some way made her utterly unfit to go into the House of Commons.

However, since I wrote that piece, some more information has come to light. [Emphasis mine.]
Do you remember what you were doing during the 1992 general election? No? Well, Emily Benn, Labour's latest election candidate, does - and she's just 17.

Emily, Tony Benn's granddaughter, has just been chosen to represent the Labour party at Worthing East and Shoreham, provided Gordon Brown doesn't call an election before she's 18. According to her CV: "In the 1992 (aged just two) and 1997 elections I campaigned extensively for Tony Benn in Chesterfield."

I now realise that, by virtue of being able to tell a big, fat, stinking, fucking lie without even showing one iota of shame, Ms Benn is, in fact, entirely suited to join the other fat, corrupt liars in the House of Commons.

In fact, she may show them to new heights of contempt and distain for those who elected them, and introduce them to novel ways of telling massive lies without feeling any kind of guilt whatsoever.

The Devil's Kitchen apologises unreservedly for implying that Ms Benn was not suitable for Parliament; further The Devil would like to make it clear that he feels that her chutzpah and standards of lying set her on a straight course to be a minister within days of her inevitable election.

11 comments:

Geoff said...

Whats with the "Ms Benn" thing? She's either married at 17 or she isn't.

"Miss Benn" is what you meant - unless she is very cute and some bloke in his late 40s is very lucky.

Shug Niggurath said...

Maybe she was the baby he kissed at photo ops so that he didn't have to kiss a prole wean?

That's brilliant, it really is. Got an email address for her?

Rumbold said...

I suspect that Miss Benn was having a laugh on her form, though obviously sarcasm can be hard to detect in writing, especially if the reader is an over-excited individual.

Peter said...

I remember my dad had me out leafletting for the local tory MP when I was about 7. I remember a guy asked me if the MP was a friend of mine. I'd never met him before so I said no.

Anonymous said...

Listen, at least she had a little respect about what was going on in those days, you probably thought the Monster Raving Loony party was a funny choice, you probably still do as well.
also, this website is hardly made up of real facts is it?

Devil's Kitchen said...

Who are you, Anon; her brother or something? I'd rather vote Monster Raving Loony Party than Labour, that's for fucking sure.

And not full of facts? What you have to do, you see, is when I hyperlink to reports, etc. you actually click the links; then you get the facts on which I base my opinions. Do you see?

And quite apart from all that, I am not seeking the power to enforce my morality on other people: she is.

Now fuck off.

DK

Chris White said...

Brilliant.

I have the haziest memory of chasing teeny tiny lizards round Gibraltar when I was two. I'm going to put on my CV that I used to be a professional dinosaur-catcher.

Geoff said...

I could have been chasing lizards around Gibraltar this afternoon but I am getting too old and they don't usually make it up here to the fifth floor :-)

Anonymous said...

i'd just like to say i think what miss benn is doing is admirable and more young people should take an interest in what is happening around their own country and get more interested in British Politics. and also i bet no other country has ever had an 18 year old candidate!

Anonymous said...

I just got an 18th birthday card from Tim Loughton the current East Worthing MP...now imagine getting one from 'Ms Benn', barely 18 herself!

Anonymous said...

What really is brilliant is that the people that seem to agree with 'Mr Kitchen' seem to either be perverted old fools, or stalkers 'looking for an email address'.
And 'Mr Kitchen', you obviously seem to get your jollies from using over-excessive language
1) don't confuse yourself when using too many rude words
2) try finding a valid point

thankyou for listening