Monday, October 01, 2007

The Conservative fightback...

David Cameron is apparently ready and willing to take the Gobblin' King on at the polls.
David Cameron has rallied the Tory party to "mount the great Conservative fight-back" against Labour.

At the first day of the Conservative conference, he said the fight-back would be based on "clear policies", "clear direction" and "clear choice".

Yeah, great fightback, is it, Dave? So remind me: what the fuck have you been doing over the last 18 months?

And we have seen reports that you are willing to go back to the Tory roots. We have even seen a proposed tax cut or two. Well, jolly well done, Dave. But if Brown calls an election, it's too little, too fucking late.

Tax cuts are all very well, but what we really want to see, apart from some fucking balls, is tax simplification. And this isn't something that can be seen to appeal to the rich alone.

Raise the Personal Tax Allowance and stop forcing people to beg Gordo for a few crumbs of their money back; people don't like begging, Dave, so tell them that, under a Tory government, they won't have to. That someone working full time on the minimum wage gets to keep every penny that they earn.

We want to see proposals for a Flat Tax and we want to see you argue that it doesn't hurt the poor. We want you to tell people that Gordon Brown has nearly tripled the length of Tolley's tax handbook and that you want to take it back down to a very slim volume.

But most of all, we want to see you in the Winter Gardens, personally flicking the switch that releases the trapdoor beneath Goldsmith and Gummer and sends then plunging towards their deaths, the piano wire entirely separating their stupid heads from their ridiculous bodies.

One can but dream...


Letters From A Tory said...

To be fair, Cameron has been trying to fight Labour for months but kept getting shafted by people supposedly on his side. Now he is finally getting a clear run at Gordon Brown and the early signs are good.

Henry North London said...

thanks for reminding me about tax I have to phone those charlatans the BMA today and ask for their unemployed, claiming incapacity benefit rate as I cancelled the direct debit on them!

tee Hee

Anonymous said...

Well said DK. Agree 100%. The PAYE/NICS setup is designed to conceal how much income tax is actually paid.

assegai mike said...

Dear Letters from a Tory: You and your friends in Bournemouth are living in some kind of dreamworld. "A clear run at Gordon Brown". I'm sorry but the guy has been running rings around you lot, not that that's difficult. Candy from a baby, my friend. A simpleton could rip Labour to shreds, but somehow Cameron and pals are making heavy weather of it. I scoff at you and your pathetic party, of which I myself was once a proud member, long ago.

assegai mike said...

Er...Blackpool, that is to say.

Mark Wadsworth said...

It's more complicated than that. Neither party actually wants to win.

a) If Gobbo wanted to win, he could just say "OK, we'll have a referendum and a General Election in November" and he'd walk it. But he doesn't want a referendum and he doesn't particularly want to be in power when economy goes tits up (A trap that Labour sprang on Major back in 1992).

b) If Tories wanted to win, they have had at least six years of Nulab sleaze and incompetence to pillory. But they never bother. Because they don't want to fall into the same trap as Major. Which is why they fanny about changing their minds about every topic under the sun. So when the Tories lose, whatever Nulab do, the Tories can honestly say that they said they'd have done the opposite. And I think the Tories will make a referendum part of their manifesto pledge, safe in the knowledge that their bluff will never be called (as the Tories are basically totally in thrall to the EUSSR.)

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