Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Top Ten Scottish Blogs

Today Iain has published the Top Twenty Scottish Blogs, a list which—incredibly—does not include the ever-effervescent Mr Eugenides. This is, in your humble Devil's humbler opinion, a scandalous omission.

To understand why this is the case, why not read the poor, little Greek boy's take on the new Scottish Labour Party Cabinet? Here's a sample...
Cathy Jamieson, the former Justice Minister whose every public pronouncement is a standing rebuke to the Scottish education system, becomes a Prescott-like figure in the new team; deputy leader, but without portfolio. This is kind of the equivalent of kicking the old family dog out into the yard before she empties her bowels all over the good carpet; oor Cathy will do less damage the further she is from the action. Kinder by far, though, would just have been to put the mangy bitch down; there would have been no shortage of volunteers.
...

Pie-loving Andy Kerr is demoted to shadow minister for public services (which means we can expect to see Greggs the Bakers nationalised by a future Labour administration) and Hugh Henry has been dropped from the top table, too. I'm not going to try and write anything funny about him, because I have no fucking idea who he is. Or rather, was. At any rate, this is not a quartet of testicles whose loss I bemoan.

Sadly, this being Scottish Labour, good news for their women means bad news for the rest of us. Perhaps the plumpest turd in the waterpipe is our new shadow Justice Minister, Pauline McNeill. It's hard to imagine that replacing Cathy Jamieson could possibly lead to a drop in the quality of the gene pool, but the McNeill achieves this quite effortlessly.

Go and read the whole thing: it is hilarious, as is his take on Russia's National Sex Day.
Just think how much happier we would be, as a nation, if a day was set aside for us to indulge our most grotesque desires with the official imprimatur of government behind us, and how much more productive the British worker would be with the prospect of state-sanctioned nookie on full pay just around the corner. What a fillip to flagging libidos everywhere to know that Alistair Darling is watching your slowly stiffening member with barely restrained pride! Run the Union Flag up that magnificent flagpole, sailor; England Britain expects that every man will do his duty.

You gotta admit, the boy's got a way with words...

5 comments:

Richard Allen said...

The excusion of Mr E from the list is a fucking disgrace.

Iain Dale is a total cunt.

Devil's Kitchen said...

To be fair, it wasn't Iain who compiled that list: it was Tartan Hero.

DK

Iain Dale said...

I agree it was a bit of an astonishing omission. Mr E will, owever, be amply rewarded by a high position in the list voted for by bloggers and blog readers... as will DK...!!!

Mr Eugenides said...

Well, you can't say fairer than that. I look forward to it.

An army of cockroaches has, meanwhile, been dispatched to infest Grant's every orifice... ;-)

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The Government of Scotland were allocated a budget of £33 Billion Pound by Westminster.

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