British history should be rewritten to make it "more inclusive", says Trevor Phillips, the head of the new human rights and equality commission.
New? Oh, right, it's not the Commission for Racial Equality anymore. The new agency does, however, appear to be made up of exactly the same evil little turds, just on (I would imagine) much higher salaries.
He said Muslims were also part of the national story and "sometimes we have to go back into the tapestry and insert some threads that were lost".
Ah, or rewrite history to make it rather more palatable to your delicate senses, eh, Trev? When you mean "insert some threads", do you mean "falsify history in order to suit your disgustingly racist agenda"? Yes, I think that you might.
"And if there is a practical thing, I would say it is that we need to revisit some parts of that national heritage. to rewrite some parts of that national story to tell the whole story."
Lots of famous people have been very keen on doing that kind of thing, Trevor. You know, people like Stalin, Mao Tse Tung and Hitler; would you propose starting by burning the old history books—in bonfires on the street, for instance—so that no one can gainsay your rewritten version. I think that's probably best, don't you? Otherwise people might find these filthy, non-inclusive versions of history and get entirely the wrong idea.
But your humble Devil is a merciful Devil and will give you the benefit of the doubt, until he sees what kind of thing you propose.
He quoted the example of the Spanish Armada, which was held up by the Turks at the request of Queen Elizabeth I.
"It was the Turks who saved us," Mr Phillips told a Labour fringe meeting.
"When we talk about the Armada it's only now that we are beginning to realise that part of it is Muslims," Mr Phillips told the meeting.
"It was the Turks who saved us, because they held up Armada at the request of Elizabeth I.
Erm... Trev? You are talking through your fat arse, you fascist fuck. Here's The Reptile explaining why.
Nice story, but it's unfortunately at best grossly misleading, and at worst flatly untrue. The argument, put forward by Dr Jerry Brotton, is that Elizabeth I sought an understanding with the Ottoman Empire (not Turkey, for God's sake - it was 350 years before Turkey was created) that the latter would continue to threaten Spain in the Mediterranean, thereby reducing the number of ships available to the Spanish."If the Armada had been bigger it would have taken Britain," said Dr Jerry Brotton.
And that's pretty damn tendentious too. The main reason that the Armada was defeated was that, even though it massively outnumbered the English navy, it was qualitatively inferior in seamanship and gunnery - a larger fleet would have meant more logistical problems - which were already considerable - and not much more chance of victory. In any event, the Turkish 'influence' was insignificant.The letter, ordered the ambassador, William Harborne, to incite the Turks to harry the Spanish navy. It was written in the mid-1580s
It was written in 1584 or 1585, 3-4 years before the Armada, and had no impact on Turkish policy, because they were busy at the time in the Balkans. It's nonsense.
Oh dear, Trevor; it seems that you need to look at your history books again, you stupid fuck. Still, what else do you propose?
Mr Phillips said he had also been persuaded of the need for a written constitution, saying the UK needed to be "more explicit in our understanding about how we treat each other".
Quite apart from my immediate reaction—which is, "go fuck yourself, fuckface"—Vindico points out the flaw in this most excellent and beaudacious idea from Mr Right-On.
A CONSTITUTION DOES NOT ENSHIRNE RIGHTS AND RESPONSIBILITIES, DICKWAD! A CONSTITUTION PROTECTS THE NEGATIVE LIBERTIES OF THE PEOPLE TO STOP THE FUCKING GOVERNMENT STICKING THEIR BUSYBODY NOSES INTO OUR BUSINESS.
Quite. I would imagine that it is not the kind of Constitution that Trevor Phillips has in mind; what he would like to see probably includes clauses that involve "positive discrimination" and "of all races regardless of ability" and other such sops.
You are a fuckwit, Trevor: but, worse than that, you are a dangerous fuckwit. Will no one rid me of this turbulent priest of PC...?