Current

Friday, September 21, 2007

The Liberal Democrats? Sorry, who?

Posted by The Nameless Libertarian at 9/21/2007 01:13:00 pm

The Liberal Democrats had their conference this week. They didn’t ditch their leader, and they moved slightly to the left. The heavens didn’t open, there weren’t any real moments of earth shattering political change or even mild political interest. Quelle surprise. It was the Liberal Democrat conference after all.

But the Moai asked some interesting, nay, pertinent questions – who are the Liberal Democrats? Who supports them? Does anyone know a real life Liberal Democrat (at least since leaving university)?

Ironically enough, I caught up with an old friend last weekend who told me her ambition in life (if she was forced to have one) was to become Liberal Democrat Prime Minister. She seemed genuinely surprised when I pointed out that the term was political nonsense – there has never been a Liberal Democrat Prime Minister. There has never been a Liberal Democrat Leader of the Opposition. The last time this timid excuse for a party got anywhere close to power was at the beginning of the last century, when it was called something different and was left of the current Labour party.

However my friend’s naiveté nicely sums up the Liberal Democrat mentality. They know how politics works in theory, however they have no idea of the reality of modern politics. The Liberal Democrats are a play party for those who want to appear to be politically aware without taking any of the responsibility for being politically aware. It is far easier for them to spout their shite when that shite will never really be exposed through the harsh glare of actually becoming public policy.

So who supports them? Trixy paints a nice image of pony tailed men and bearded women, which I do not doubt makes up the vast majority of those who attend the Liberal Democrat party. But I rather suspect those who support them are defiantly middle class – affluent, living in the suburbs or polite little commuter satellite towns. They are assuaging cliched middle class guilt by supporting a party who spouts the sort of policies they feel they should support – and, indeed, did support back in their student days – without actually running the danger of those policies coming into play and therefore hurting their middle class lives. This is not a class rant, but rather an observation that it is far easier for some to assuage their middle class guilt by supporting a high tax party when there is no danger of that high tax party actually getting their grubby hands on the keys to Number 10.

The Liberal Democrats are little more than a debating society for those who want to appear worthy and want to appear “right on”. The party is a talking shop for those who don’t want to make hard, realistic policy choices. It is telling that their most successful leader in recent memory had one great talent (other than alcohol consumption) – he was a shameless bandwagon jumper, attaching his party credentials to what ever appeared to be the latest “in” policy to be supporting. The Liberal Democrats are the political equivalent of tracing paper – they mimic whatever they are placed against.

And as a result the Liberal Democrats are a waste of time. They have all the structures and procedures of a political party, and even succeed in winning some seats. But they are nothing but an ersatz political party – they go through the motions, but the end result of everything they do is exactly the same as if they had done nothing. The party motto should be “why bother”?

So the truth is that it doesn’t matter who is the leader. It could be the ginger drunk, the doddering old fool or one of those young pretenders to the throne whose names you kind of know but you just can’t quite remember what they look like or indeed what they stand for (if anything). It doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things, and the fact that no-one moved to depose Kennedy until the news of his chronic alcohol problem was about to made public – and the ongoing saga of Ming’s non-leadership of the party – shows that they kind of realise this. Of course Clegg is willing to wait until there is a vacancy: in his heart of hearts he knows that there it doesn’t matter who is leader.

And it also doesn’t matter what policies they come up with. They can talk about banning petrol powered cars in 33 years time, or about raising taxes for the rich, until they are blue in their pock marked, bearded faces, but it really doesn’t matter. Hell, they could say they are going to murder the rich, make the national religion the worship of Ming and then declare war on the Devil Goblins of Neptune and it still wouldn’t fucking matter. They will never get into a position where they can foist the arbitrary fucktarded shite that they consider to be workable policy on this nation. In the unlikely event that one of our parties has to go cap in hand to them to form a coalition then I have no doubt that the relevant party with ruthlessly and brutally cut away the more loopy parts of any Liberal Democrat manifesto, and only take the “let’s all try to be nice to people if we can” policy from the Lib Dems to make them feel a bit better.

So, given I think that the Liberal Democrat party is the very definition of a non-entity, why have I written this post? Because actually everyone (including myself) needs to accept that the Liberal Democrats talk irrelevant arse, and leave them to get on with it. The Liberal Democrats are so neutered politically that they are irrelevant. We need to concentrate on the real problems with our political ruling class. We need to be attacking the money grabbing dour bastard who is acting as Prime Minister, and also young Hug A Husky and his band of tree-hugging merry men. They have a chance of getting into power, and they will be the ones who will be spending our hard earned cash on half-baked schemes and down right corrupt plans.

Ming the Merciful and his band of bearded prigs, geography teachers and Euro-phile hippies should be treated with the respect they deserve. They should be utterly ignored.

Labels: , , ,


Posted by The Nameless Libertarian at 9/21/2007 01:13:00 pm


15 Blogger Comments:

Blogger Tomrat247 said...

DK,
While I agree with you that the Lib Dems talk an unbelievable amount of arse why on earth would you want to invoke famous last words syndrome (FLWS)? The chances are remote but you've got to remember you've got complete arse being spouted out of the mouths of the 2 main parties which can only weigh in for the Lib Dems; heck (in the not so distant past) as a student I threatened to vote for them, until my mum slapped me around until I came to my senses. The point is I only did this because of the inane BS coming out of every other leaders mouth. Its the same when we talk about UKIP's chances; they will remain terrible as long as so many identify them as the party of protest and not a party of (close to) reason.

9/21/2007 01:43:00 pm  
Blogger Tristan said...

This from the man who's a member of UKIP, a party with hardly any support mostly populated by xenophobes with the odd libertarian thrown in (and mostly supported by middle class people who can't quite bring themselves to vote BNP).

I agree, there's a lot wrong with LibDem policy, but at least they start from a decent posistion of individualism and liberty unlike Labour - collectivism and the state, or the Tories - collectivism in service of the state and other vested interests.
Or UKIP - evil foreigners are out to get us.

9/21/2007 02:16:00 pm  
Anonymous mitch said...

Tracing paper ha i love it. sums em up perfectly.

9/21/2007 02:28:00 pm  
Blogger Devil's Kitchen said...

Could you please make an effort to check the author's name? – The Nameless One wrote this. We don't even write alike – stylistically or syntactically.

TNO is an ex-Tory and currently a member of no party.

I am trying to read the whole thing but I'm absolutely snowed under with work deadlines at the moment.

DK

9/21/2007 02:34:00 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

LibDems = Cadbury's ie "Contains Nuts"

9/21/2007 03:40:00 pm  
Blogger Roger Thornhill said...

anon: LibDems = Cadbury's ie "Contains Nuts"

I prefer my own description: A fairtrade chocolate teapot used to brew an organic herbal infusion using energy from renewable sources.

9/21/2007 03:48:00 pm  
Blogger The Nameless One said...

Just to reiterate DK's point, this article was not written by a member of UKIP and, at present, I'm not actually the member of any party.

As for the assertion from Tristan that the Liberal Democrats stand for individualism and liberty - really not convinced. But I'm not going to get drawn into a debate on Lib Dem policies since I've just stated today that they are irrelevant. Going to focus my ire in future on the cunts in charge of the two main parties.

TNO

9/21/2007 03:57:00 pm  
Blogger Mark Wadsworth said...

What? Geography teachers? Now I really hate the LibDems.

As it happens, my brother in law is a Lib Dem. Dunno why.

9/21/2007 04:13:00 pm  
Blogger rightwingprof said...

Ah, but we have the Natural Law Party -- I have in-laws who are NLP members. We try to avoid their notice.

9/21/2007 04:50:00 pm  
Blogger chris said...

Back when the Liberal Party had power they where at least free traders, however the Liberal Party got eaten by the Social Democrats hence its tendency towards being socialist now.

9/21/2007 05:51:00 pm  
Blogger Tim J said...

The only Lib Dem I know shares an alma mater with the Devil, from round about the same time too...

9/21/2007 06:45:00 pm  
Blogger Hugh Miller said...

I honestly believe the Liberals are afraid of power and so instead keep their policies in tune with some weird internal rainbow coalition of misfits which they know fine well will never have enough mass appeal to get elected. Their membership is made up of pretty much the kind of people you see chastising a god-awful spoiled child in a supermarket for smashing all the eggs by whispering 'please don't do that darling'.

But remember, in this democracy we have they draw the same expenses, wages and pension contribution that potential cabinet ministers get. What is it they get, a minimum £14,000 a year if they serve two terms as an MP???

Their even more guilty of asking for votes because of what they're not than the Labour party.

9/21/2007 07:36:00 pm  
Blogger tapestry said...

Actually Lib Dem voters have little idea what their policies are. John Redwood published Lib Dem policies to their voters in Wokingham, and they abandoned the Party in droves. They were shocked about the teaching homosexuality to school kids of 3 etc.

9/22/2007 02:15:00 am  
Blogger Ms Robinson said...

Who the fuck cares indeed? Loved this Nameless One. Reminds me of the Country Party we had in Australia whow appeared to speak for those with sheep and then disappeared since even the sheep got bored with them.

9/22/2007 04:20:00 am  
Blogger Bag said...

DK, It's post like this why I think you should go into politics.

Another brilliant piece.

9/24/2007 05:24:00 pm  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home

Archives

Previous Posts

Archives

Testimonials

  • "The best British political/libertarian blog on the web. Consistently excellent but not for the squeamish."—Christopher Snowdon
  • "[He] runs the infamous and fantastically sweary Devil’s Kitchen blog, and because he’s one of the naughtiest geeks (second only to the incredibly, incredibly naughty Guido Fawkes) he’s right at the top of the evil dork hierarchy."—Charlotte Gore
  • "I met the Devil's Kitchen the other night. What a charming young man he is, and considerably modest too..."—Peter Briffa
  • "The Devil's Kitchen exposes hypocrisy everywhere, no holds barred."—Wrinkled Weasel
  • "People can still be controversial and influential whilst retaining integrity—Devil's Kitchen springs to mind—and attract frequent but intelligent comment."—Steve Shark, at B&D
  • "Sometimes too much, sometimes wrong, sometimes just too much but always worth a read. Not so much a blog as a force of nature."—The Nameless Libertarian
  • "The Devil's Kitchen—a terrifying blog that covers an astonishing range of subjects with an informed passion and a rage against the machine that leaves me in awe..."—Polaris
  • "He rants like no one else in the blogosphere. But it's ranting in an eloquent, if sweary, kind of way. Eton taught him a lot."—Iain Dale
  • "But for all that, he is a brilliant writer—incisive, fisker- extraordinaire and with an over developed sense of humour... And he can back up his sometimes extraordinary views with some good old fashioned intellectual rigour... I'm promoting him on my blogroll to a daily read."—Iain Dale
  • "... an intelligent guy and a brilliant writer..."—A Very British Dude
  • "... the glorious Devil's Kitchen blog—it's not for the squeamish or easily offended..."—Samizdata
  • "... a very, smart article... takes a pretty firm libertarian line on the matter."—Samizdata
  • "By the way, DK seems to be on fucking good form at the moment."—Brian Mickelthwait
  • "Perhaps the best paragraph ever written in the history of human creation. It's our Devil on fine form."—Vindico
  • "Devil's Kitchen is the big name on the free-market libertarian strand of the British blogosphere... Profane rants are the immediate stand-out feature of DK's blog, but the ranting is backed up by some formidable argument on a wide range of issues particularly relating to British and European parliamentary politics, economics, and civil liberties."—Question That
  • "... an excellent, intelligent UK political blog which includes a great deal of swearing."—Dr Aubrey Blumsohn
  • "I like the Devil's Kitchen. I think it's one of the best written and funniest blogs in the business."—Conservative Party Reptile
  • "The. Top. UK. Blogger."—My Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy
  • "For sheer intelligence, erudition and fun, Iain Dale's Diary, Cranmer and Devil's Kitchen are so far ahead of the rest I don't see how they can figure in a top ten. They are the Beatles, Stones and Who of the blog world; the Astair, Bogart and Marlon Brando of the blog world; the Gerswin, Porter and Novello of the blog world; the Dot Cotton, Pat Butcher, Bette Lynch of the blog world..."—Wrinkled Weasel
  • "It's the blogging equivalent of someone eating Ostrich Vindaloo, washed down by ten bottles of Jamaican hot pepper sauce and then proceeding to breathe very close to your face while talking about how lovely our politicians are... But there's much more to his writing than four letter words."—Tom Tyler
  • "God bless the Devil's Kitchen... Colourful as his invective is, I cannot fault his accuracy."—Tom Paine
  • "The Devil's Kitchen is a life-affirming, life-enhancing blog ... This particular post will also lead you to some of the best soldiers in the army of swearbloggers of which he is Field Marshal."—The Last Ditch
  • "... underneath all the ranting and swearing [DK]'s a very intelligent and thoughtful writer whom many people ... take seriously, despite disagreeing with much of what he says."—Not Saussure
  • "... the most foul-mouthed of bloggers, Devils Kitchen, was always likely to provoke (sometimes disgust, but more often admiration)."—The Times Online
  • "The always entertaining Mr Devil's Kitchen..."—The Times's Comment Central
  • "Frankly, this is ranting of the very highest calibre."—The Nameless Libertarian
  • "I don't mean it literally, or even metaphorically. I just find that his atheism aside, I agree with everything the Devil (of Kitchen fame...) says. I particularly enjoy his well crafted and sharp swearing, especially when addressed at self righteous lefties..."—The Tin Drummer
  • "Spot on accurate and delightful in its simplicity, Devil's Kitchen is one of the reasons that we're not ready to write off EUroweenie-land just yet. At least not until we get done evacuating the ones with brains."—Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler
  • "This hugely entertaining, articulate, witty Scottish commentator is also one of the most foul-mouthed bloggers around. Gird up your loins and have a look. Essential reading."—Doctor Crippen
  • "The Devil's Kitchen is one of the foremost blogs in the UK. The DK is bawdy, foul-mouthed, tasteless, vulgar, offensive and frequently goes beyond all boundaries of taste and decency. So why on earth does Dr Crippen read the DK? Because he reduces me to a state of quivering, helpless laughter."—Doctor Crippen's Grand Rounds
  • "DK is a take-no-prisoners sort of libertarian. His blog is renowned for its propensity for foul-mouthed invective, which can be both amusing and tiresome by turns. Nevertheless, he is usually lucid, often scintillating and sometimes illuminating."—Dr Syn
  • "If you enjoy a superior anti-Left rant, albeit one with a heavy dash of cursing, you could do worse than visit the Devil's Kitchen. The Devil is an astute observer of the evils of NuLabour, that's for sure. I for one stand converted to the Devil and all his works."—Istanbul Tory
  • "... a sick individual."—Peter Briffa
  • "This fellow is sharp as a tack, funny as hell, and—when something pisses him off—meaner than a badger with a case of the bullhead clap."—Green Hell
  • "Foul-mouthed eloquence of the highest standard. In bad taste, offensive, immoderate and slanderous. F***ing brilliant!—Guest, No2ID Forum
  • "a powerfully written right-of-center blog..."—Mangan's Miscellany
  • "I tend to enjoy Devil's Kitchen not only because I disagree with him quite a lot of the time but because I actually have to use my brain to articulate why."—Rhetorically Speaking
  • "This blog is currently slamming. Politics certainly ain't all my own. But style and prose is tight, fierce, provocative. And funny. OK, I am a child—swear words still crack a laugh."—Qwan
  • "hedonistic, abrasive but usually good-natured..."—The G-Gnome
  • "10,000 words per hour blogging output... prolific or obsessive compulsive I have yet to decide..."—Europhobia
  • "a more favoured blog from the sensible Right..."—Great Britain...
  • "Devils Kitchen, a right thinking man indeed..."—EU Serf
  • "an excellent blog..."—Rottweiler Puppy
  • "Anyone can cuss. But to curse in an imaginative fashion takes work."—Liftport Staff Blog
  • "The Devil's Kitchen: really very funny political blog."—Ink & Incapability
  • "I've been laffing fit to burst at the unashamed sweariness of the Devil's Kitchen ~ certainly my favourite place recently."—SoupDragon
  • "You can't beat the writing and general I-may-not-know-about-being-polite-but-I-know-what-I-like attitude."—SoupDragon
  • "Best. Fisking. Ever. I'm still laughing."—LC Wes, Imperial Mohel
  • "Art."—Bob
  • "It made me laugh out loud, and laugh so hard—and I don't even get all the references... I hope his politics don't offend you, but he is very funny."—Furious, WoT Forum
  • "DK himself is unashamedly right-wing, vitriolic and foul mouthed, liberally scattering his posts with four-letter-words... Not to be read if you're easily offended, but highly entertaining and very much tongue in cheek..."—Everything Is Electric
  • "This blog is absolutely wasted here and should be on the front page of one of the broadsheets..."—Commenter at The Kitchen
  • "[This Labour government] is the most mendacious, dishonest, endemically corrupt, power-hungry, incompetent, illiberal fucking shower of shits that has ruled this country..."—DK

Blogroll

Campaign Links

All: Daily Reads (in no particular order)

Politics (in no particular order)

Climate Change (in no particular order)

General & Humour (in no particular order)

Mac,Design Tech & IT (in no particular order)