Thursday, August 30, 2007

Nicholas was...

A little while back, in preparation for the train journey to Edinburgh, I bought a collection of Neil Gaiman's short stories called Smoke and Mirrors.

It contained one of the finest, and creepiest, short stories that I have ever read; and it is a mere 100 words long. So, here it is.
Nicholas Was...

Older than sin, and his beard could grow no whiter. He wanted to die.

The dwarfish natives of the Arctic caverns did not speak his language, but conversed in their own, twittering tongue, conducted incomprehensible rituals, when they were not actually working in the factories.

Once every year they forced him, sobbing and protesting, into Endless Night. During the journey he would stand near every child in the world, leave one of the dwarves' invisible gifts by its bedside. The children slept, frozen into time.

He envied Prometheus and Loki, Sisyphus and Judas. His punishment was harsher.




Tell that to your children on Christmas Eve and see if they feel the same about Santa...


Angus said...

It`s always puzzled me why Santa Claus is the only socially acceptable deception that we allow to be perpetrated on children.

Not entirely dissimilar to "Modern Fucking Studies" feeding them with propagandising Pro-EU bullshit.

Still, whilst there are stalwart chaps like DK to man the barricades there`s hope that, just as our children realise we`ve been lying to them about Santa, so too will they realise that our politicians have been lying to them about the bastardin` EU.

[reckon there`s a sketch in their somewhere struggling to get out...]

Not a sheep said...

Typo alert, Mr DK, for "very" read "every" in "Once very year they forced him". Great short story though; a beginning, a middle and an end in 100 words...

Robert said...

Yes, its fun to slag off Father Christmas.

Devil's Kitchen said...


That's brilliant! Were you deliberately writing it in the style of Polly Toynbee?