"It is unacceptable for people to use alcohol and urinate in the street, vomit and carry on."
So, here's a question for you, Vernon, you fucking piece of llama-shit: why the cunting fuck are the toilets at Clapham Common never open?
For the last three nights (and many, many nights over the last few weeks) I have been standing at the bus stop opposite Clapham Common Tube Station.
For all of you that don't know, Clapham Common Tube Station is little more than a rain shelter for all those who are exiting the Underground; however, its rather elegant dome is build into a set of public toilets. Which are never, ever open.
I was there tonight—the lights were on inside and I was dying for a fucking piss* but the steel gates were across the entrance (on both sides). What the cunting fuck?
This is a fucking public cunting toilet! Open the fucking things, you bunch of lackwit bastards. What are you afraid of: that people are going to piss in them? What is the tossing excuse for closing facilities that we have paid for at the very time that they are needed most?
I fucking hate you, Coaker, you illiberal wankstain; I hope that you die slowly, over a period of many years, of prostate cancer; that you find yourself constantly needing a piss and yet banging futilely at the doors of public toilets that are not open for a reason that, presumably, only you cunt politician scum know.
And when you are forced to pee your trousers in the street, I shall call the police and have you arrested and then fucked up the arse, as you are trapped in a cell, by a man possessed of the biggest dick in the world.
* I held it in until I arrived home but, as I'm sure that Dr Crippen can tell you, you can do irreparable damage to your bladder by holding a piss in too long.