Ladies and gentlemen, let me lay this out quite clearly:
- In this country, about 1,000 people a year die of cervical cancer.
- Almost all cervical cancer is now known to be triggered by the human papilloma virus (HPV).
- Like the vaccines that we have against every other virus, they are only effective before you have been exposed to a "live" virus. Therefore the vaccine should be administered before infection can occur.
- HPV is usually spread through sexual contact (some related types cause genital warts).
- Therefore, the best time to administer the vaccine is before people start having sex.
Everyone got that? Just in case you haven't, the best way to stop the nasty, painful deaths of 1,000 women a year (and the necessary mutilation of others through hysterectomies, etc.) is to vaccinate them against the virus before they have sex.
Does this satisfy the fucking insane Christian fruitloops? No. Because they are not only bigoted but also utterly uninformed. Now, Bookdrunk has been writing about the shitstorm worked up by the hysterical Daily Mail and bigots such as Christian Voice, with his usual methodical accuracy, so I recommend that you start there. I'm just going to abuse Christians who would rather than people died in agony from an entirely preventable disease. They are total fucking cunts whose imaginary friend has apparently told them that sex is Evil and Wrong.
In this case, we are going to concentrate of a madman called Colin Hart, who has been given space to air his ill-informed views in The Telegraph.
Colin Hart, director of the Christian Institute, said: "The message being sent out is you are immune from the disease...
Well, yes you are. That's the entire point of a vaccine, you thick cunt.
... and it gives the impression that you are available for sex.
Really? Why, will these girls be given a big, fat tattoo on their heads saying, "I'm HPV protected: I'll fuck anytime you like. Big boy." No. No they won't.
Further, is anyone not to restrain from fucking someone else because they hasn't been vaccinated? No.
"We may as well be giving children cigarette filters and needles in case one day they want to smoke or inject drugs."
Um, no it's not. Look, you silly little wanker, someone could catch HPV off their partner even if they have slept with no one else their entire lives. And they might still die in agony. What would you prefer: the HPV vaccination to be administered on the day before the virgin bride gets wed?
"The safe and more sensible thing to do would be to persuade young people to abstain from sex."
Actually, Colin, I was being facetious but it seems that that is precisely what you would like.
And, the thing is that teaching abstinence doesn't fucking work. As was pointed out only a couple of days ago, via Timmy, the outcome is pretty much the same as when you practise decent sex education.
A survey of more than 2,000 teenagers carried out by a research company on behalf of Congress found that the half of the sample given abstinence-only education displayed exactly the same predilection for sex as those who had received conventional sex education in which contraception was discussed.
Mathematica Policy Research sampled teenagers with an average age of 16 from a cross-section of communities in Florida, Wisconsin, Mississippi and Virginia. Both control groups had the same breakdown of behaviour: 23% in both sets had had sex in the previous year and always used a condom, 17% had sex only sometimes using a condom; and 4% had sex never using one. About a quarter of each group had had sex with three or more partners.
You know what? Fuck you and your fucking imaginary friend. Fuck you and your mediaeval social mores. Why the fuck shouldn't people have sex, as long as they are sensible: it's fun and enjoyable and the more you do it the better you get at it so the more enjoyable, for everyone, it becomes.
Further, I am fed up of encountering the guilt that people, especially women, are made to feel because of our outdated prejudices which are caused, in large part, by your fucking stupid religion. Fuck you sunshine, and fuck your imaginary
As a postscript to my rant, I would like to commend Bryony Gordon's to you. Like Bookdrunk, I feel that it is just too good not to quote at length. [Emphasis mine.]
Fortunately for this country's young women, he is not an expert. Not in cancer anyway, though his role as the director of the Christian Institute does seem to have furnished him with some ridiculous and outdated views, not to mention a gift for misunderstanding things.
Doctors have not suggested vaccinating girls of 12 because they think they are all having sex. On the contrary, it is because they think they are not having sex: the vaccine is more effective if given before a girl becomes sexually active.
But let's not allow a lack of medical experience to get in the way of sharing thoughts on how it is that one develops cervical cancer.
"It is a disease that you can only get through being sexually promiscuous," Mr Hart continued, not polishing the stethoscope he doesn't own.
At least Mr Hart stopped short of actually throwing names. The same cannot be said of Stephen Green, national director of Christian Voice, who has called Gardasil a "tarts' cancer jab" and wrote that it is "going to leave misery in its wake". [Do read Bookdrunk on this particular steaming shitpile.]
If Mr Green really wants to know about misery, perhaps he could talk to the families of the 1,000 women who die of cervical cancer in Britain every year.
People who worry that this vaccine will somehow encourage under-age sex and promiscuity are, frankly, deranged. [Of course they are: they believe in an imaginary being in the sky who talks to them. How much more deranged do you want to get?—DK] Twelve-year-olds may be more grown-up than ever before, but I doubt very much that they would equate needles being stuck into their arms with sex - probably, the jab would be seen as no different from a routine BCG or a booster.
Then Bryony goes on to recommend decent sex education. [Again, emphasis mine.]
No doubt the likes of Colin Hart and Stephen Green will try to tell us that the HPV vaccine will cause abortions to rocket even higher. Actually, it is the attitudes to sex held by people like them that must be held partly responsible for such a tragically high number of young women going through the traumatic process of a termination.
We need to get over our squeamishness about sex and educate young people properly. Teenagers like to get a bit fruity with one another - that will never change. So let's get over our lights-off approach to copulation.
As I have said before, anyone who thinks that young people are using abortion as an alternative to contraception is a fucking nutjob and only slightly less fucking deranged than Hart and Green.
Can we please just grow the fuck up and realise that sex is a good thing and that, even were it not, vaccinating people against HPV is not going to encourage people to have sex before they are ready. Similarly, withholding such a jab is not going to stop them having sex when they want to: it just means that they might needlessly die of cervical cancer later in life.
For crying out loud, we don't complain that people who are given a tetanus or rabies jab will deliberately go out and encourage a dog to bite them, do we? So what the fucking fuck is the fucking problem here, you fucks?
Fucking hellski. Fucking Christians and their fucking guilt: just piss off and keep your fucking insane ideas to yourselves, will you? Stop trying to make everyone else's lives a guilt-ridden hell-fest just because you are bigoted, miserable cunts.
Religion is stupid.
[1: RETURN TO TEXT] Most vaccines work in roughly the following way. Your body identifies cells by means of protein "keys" called antigens; when a virus enters the body, your body recognises its antigens as being foreign and gets to work manufacturing an specific antibody which will identify and lock onto the virus by binding to its antigens.
However, some viruses are able to hide or disguise themselves or, like AIDS and 'flu (which are retroviruses), mutate quickly enough to change the antigens at frequent intervals (thus requiring more specific antibodies). So, the antibodies are most effective if they are already in the system.
The way that vaccines work is to introduce a "dead" virus into the body; that is, a virus that has had all of the DNA or RNA removed from it and is thus, essentially, nothing but a protein shell. This shell retains the antigens, allowing the body to manufacture antibodies without the virus actually being able to infect or reproduce.
So, the next time that the body encounters a "live" virus, it is destroyed before it can do significant damage because the antibodies already exist in your body.