That is the question that Master Dale has asked, and one which we debated briefly on 18 Doughty Street last night. As I was suggesting people, I knew that there was someone lurking in the back of my mind, like a dog turd in the corner of your bedroom that you haven't noticed until it's completely fly-blown.
Yes, I believe that none of us mentioned the Sweaty Baboon himself, Charles Clarke. How could we have forgotten the Safety Elephant, a man who—until John Reid's incumbency of the Home Office—represented the apeothis of NuLabour's thuggish, authoritarian tendences.
Indeed, some time ago, I wrote a post summarising his stupidity, mendacity and sheer fucking uselessness, which seems tailor-made for answering today's question.
The real problem, though, is that he completely fucking useless. Can you think of one competent thing that he has achieved? All of his legislation is bogged down, toing and froing between the Lords. We all of us know that all of the legislation is, at the very least, deeply flawed, if not outright fascist. Furthermore, all of these laws are unnecessary; all of the things that Clarke is trying to cover in his Terrorism Bill are actually covered by age-old laws. But there is no point in having laws if they are not policed, and that is really where the problem lies.
Clarke, however, is busy alienating all of the police forces in the country (starting with Wales, obviously) and so they are unlikely to wholeheartedly support any measures which Clarke may throw his not inconsiderable weight behind. Which is why his legacy will be that of a man who, whilst introducing some fearsomely draconian laws into our green and pleasant land, had absolutely no effect on those on whom he was trying to crack down.
But the real insult is that Clarke is so utterly fucking useless; if I could offer some advice to the Safety Elephant, it would be, "shut your fucking trap". The man is a shit so far in front of the first water that he practically counts as some new lifeform; if only this were true, since I feel ashamed to be part of the same race as the fuck.
As with many other Labour ministers, I can only wish cancer upon him; with any luck, it'll be a brain tumour: at least it would go some way to explaining how one person can be such a useless fucking cunt. Charles Clarke: the world's most eloquent argument against the existance of an intelligent designer...
I think that's our question answered although, let's face it, the terminally stupid Patsy Hewitt must be pretty high up there for fuckwitted contenders to this title.