Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Sheryl Crow: talentless, boring fuckwit

Sheryl Crow writes very tendious, country-influenced songs which boast an occasionally catchy chorus sandwiched between two turgid turds of verses. So it was only fitting that a goodly number of bloggers should have laughed uproariously at her proposal that everyone be limited to one square of toilet paper at every sitting.
I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting. Now, I don't want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights, but I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where 2 to 3 could be required.

I need more than that just to clean the crap out of my ears when I am occasionally subjected to one of her songs, frankly.

However, what no one seems to have picked up at the time, is another one of the stupid twat's propositions which is, from the point of view of someone sane (or someone who has at least been taking their medication), even more derisory.
I also like the idea of not using paper napkins, which happen to be made from virgin wood and represent the height of wastefulness. I have designed a clothing line that has what's called a "dining sleeve." The sleeve is detachable and can be replaced with another "dining sleeve," after usage. The design will offer the "diner" the convenience of wiping his mouth on his sleeve rather than throwing out yet another barely used paper product.

Now, it was at this point that I wondered if maybe, just maybe, Ms Crow was taking the piss. But apparently not or, at least, not as far as I can determine.

So, Sheryl, which do you think takes more energy—which do you think is more "wasteful" if you like—to make: a replaceable, cloth sleeve or a paper fucking napkin, you dumb cunt? For fuck's sake, will someone stop feeding her the damn hallucinogens...?

And, in the name of all that is unholy, will people please stop listening to the ramblings of pop stars: if they aren't proposing disposable sleeves then they are knowingly sponsoring the deaths of 100,000 Africans...

2 comments:

Brian Dunbar said...

Now, it was at this point that I wondered if maybe, just maybe, Ms Crow was taking the piss.

She wrote in her blog the next something like this (I'm paraphrasing);

"Hey, you know that thing yesterday where all of y'all made fun? That was, like, a joke, man. Sheesh I can't believe you guys took that seriously"

anarki said...

This has to be the dumbest "joke" i've ever ever encountered.

I blogged this just after she said it ( http://theperfectexcuse.blogspot.com/2007/04/sheryl-crow-loses-touch-with-reality.html ) and got an anonymous comment saying it was a joke. yet there was nothing in the article that made it look anything like a joke. i cant find the original post now or her follow up that brian dunbar speaks of, cos her website is so rubbish, but anyway. wot a stupid whore.