Monday, April 30, 2007

The wrong way down a one-way street

A Scottish client phoned me today to ask my opinion of the SNP. I replied that whilst they were making some of the right noises—especially in the matter of slicing into the huge Scottish state sector—they were actually slight fantasists. I now regret this statement.

I regret my use of the word "slight" as, via the Snob, I see that Wee 'Eck Salmond thinks that independence would not be a one-way street.
SNP leader Alex Salmond said independence was "not a one-way street" and a Scotland which went its own way could later re-join the United Kingdom.
...

When asked if an independent Scotland could in the future go back to being part of the UK, Mr Salmond told the GMTV Sunday Programme: "Any nation can do whatever it pleases.

"It can vote to become independent and it can vote if it so chooses to become un-independent, that's the prerogative of a nation and Scotland, of course, is a nation.

"It's a country - it has the right of self-determination. So no, it's not a one-way street, theoretically a country could do that."

Has he lost his fucking mind? Yes, Scotland could vote to rejoin the Union and the countries of the Union could equally well tell it to piss right off.

A lot of people increasingly feel that Scotland is something of a burden—both economically and spiritually, the constant, dissatified buzzing of whingeing Scots irritating all of us. People look at the vast amounts of extra money that go to the Scots in what are, essentially, electoral bribes; they then look at the increasingly ropey public services in the rest of the Union and wonder why the Scots should get the best of it based on stolen cash.

If Scotland were to go independent and became as economically successful as Wee 'Eck maintains it will, then why on earth would it want to rejoin the Union.

The only reason that Scotland would want to rejoin the Union was because independence hadn't worked and the Scottish was still the moribund, basketcase that it is today (and probably more so); why on earth does Salmond think that the rest of the Union would want to take back a near-bankrupt, under-performing, bunch of whining bastards?

So, Eckie-Thump, your "nation" can vote for what the fuck it likes, sunshine; but if you goes independent and bollocks it up, you are going to have to come up with some pretty irrefuteable reasons as to why on earth the rest of us should start subsidising the "best small country in the world" again, otherwise there's no fucking way that Scotland can become "un-independent".

Once you leave, matey, you're on your own: you can't rely on England to bail you out again.

4 comments:

Martin said...

"A lot of people increasingly feel that Scotland is something of a burden—both economically and spiritually, the constant, dissatified buzzing of whingeing Scots irritating all of us. "

It's a bit sad to see you write that.

"why on earth does Salmond think that the rest of the Union would want to take back a near-bankrupt, under-performing, bunch of whining bastards?"

Why indeed, when you'll still have the Welsh?

Devil's Kitchen said...

It's a bit sad to see you write that.

Yes, I know. It was possibly a bad way to express it; as you know, I have a lot of time for the Scots and I do love Scotland.

But, at the same time, there were many times that I was made to feel like a foreigner, a "fuckin' English bastard" was a phrase I heard too, too often, and not said in jest; perhaps, having moved back here, I've just gone native...!

And I don't support Scottish independence; I am starting to consider it as being in evitable though. If only to teach Scotland's leaders that lying back and runnning your economy based on the current proportion of state funding it simply not viable.

DK

DocBud said...

Too bloody right, Martin. If it was up to me I'd ditch the Welsh before the Scots, but I'd happily say cheerio to both.

Devil, Salmond has a cunning plan, he'll get the tartan army to wander south to Derby then turn tail and run. We'll whip the pants off them outside of Inverness and in return they'll expect us to take responsibility for them again. This time, however, we'll retreat to the border, mine it, fence it, build a moat and fill it with crocodiles and have one highly inefficient border post on the Swaziland model.

Martin said...

DK,

It's not just inevitable - it happened nine years ago.

It's hard to see how any construction can be put on the words 'There shall be a Scottish Parliament' (The Scotland Act 1998, s.1) other than that they effectively ended the Union.

And the Scottish Conservative & Unionist Party more than happily took the money and ran. So much for their Forsythism.

Or their Unionism. Or their patriotism, for that matter.

If it's any consolation, I experienced the same abuse, albeit not to my face and in reverse, many, many times when I worked in call centres. Even as a Unionist, after a while it started to grate.

My own opinion of the Union, for what it's worth, was that it worked best when its constituent parts didn't have to speak to each other, thus avoiding such unpleasantness - and to my mind it's no coincidence that the advent of organised Scottish nationalism postdated the advent of mass broadcasting by only a very few short years.

DocBud,

If just one good thing comes out of Scottish independence, it will be that, having become a nation again, the dreadful dirge 'Flower of Scotland' will automatically become redundant and a new anthem will be required.

Given the way things are going on the immigration front it's likely to feature bhangra, balalaikas and gypsy violins.