Everyday 80 million children worldwide do not go to school.
Bloody hell, Gordo! I realise that the number of people playing truant from our own schools is pretty high, but I didn't think that it was so very prolific.
Every one of them should have the right to a free education...
Erm... OK. But what if they don't want it? Many of those children are too busy stitching footballs in order to earn enough to feed their AIDS-raddled parents to be bothered with schools. It's short-termist, for sure; but then it doesn't take all that long to starve to death.
... and when I say that I am thinking of hundreds of young people desperate for the chance of schooling that I have seen with my own eyes.
Shouldn't that be "eye"? Tell me, Gordon, do you miss stereo vision?
A few months ago, at Abuja in Nigeria...
Which scandal were you avoiding this time, Macavity?
... I met children sitting three to a desk in crowded classrooms, lucky if they had an exercise book or pens to themselves and heard of dozens more children turned away at the door because there was no more room.
Well, you should have shifted your fat, overfed, gold-plated pensioned arse out of there, shouldn't you? They could have fitted an extra fifteen kids in there.
A few miles up the road, I was told, an Islamic madrassa was offering education free of charge — in far better classrooms, and to anyone who wanted it.
Funded, one would imagine, with Saudi
"Be happy with your shitty lot on earth," they will be taught, "For Allah will rewards you in heaven."
This kind of teaching (coupled with easy availability of heroin) works in Iran, Saudi and various other Middle Eastern hell-holes to keep the people down: I don't see why it shouldn't work in fucking Africa.
But the price of education in that madrassa, and in others like it, was indoctrination — by al-Qaeda-inspired militants who subvert the faith taught peacefully in the great majority of Islamic schools around the world.
Well, at least you realise that.
In Africa, from Nigeria to Somalia, the rise of radical Islamic groups is a large and growing strategic concern for Britain and our international partners.
It might just possibly fucking help, then, if someone were to actually admit that in policy; unfortunately, everyone seems to be too scared. How many times have you seen our press reporting honestly, for instance, on the situation in Darfur? It is a simple fact that it is Islamic militias murdering Christians: unfortunately, the UN didn't have possess the balls to declare it genocide (in which case, they would have an automatic mandate to intervene); instead they said that "war crimes were happening" which carries no mandate for intervention.
As a consequence of the UN's weakness and corruption—not to mention the fact that their Human Rights Panel is populated with such well-known liberals as Libya, China and Russia (the last two of which are fighting for influence in Africa)—this war is spilling out into the neighbouring countries of Chad and Ethiopia.
Nice work, Brown.
We know that — despite the obvious focus on the Middle East and Asia — there are probably now more al-Qaeda-inspired cells in Africa than in any other continent — ready to commit their resources not just to terrorism but to the battle for the hearts and minds of young African children who want nothing more than a school to attend.
So, just like many areas of Britain then...
That is why our “Education for All” campaign is inspired both by a sense of justice and humanity and by a desire for lasting peace and security. For the first time, we propose to do for education what the Red Cross and Médecins Sans Frontiãres already do for healthcare — provide education even in fragile states and war zones.
The UK will begin work with Unicef, Save the Children and other charities to help to finance the mobilisation of the first global roster of education experts and other skilled personnel ever to deliver education in regions of conflict.
And by investing in education for all, we can make a reality of our goal that by 2015 every child in the world should be able to go to school.
You arrogant fuck, Brown, you warty, diseased piece of genetic refuse: fuck you! As Timmy points out, you can't even sort out the schooling in the country that you effectively rule.
You mean that they should al get the same standard of schooling that the State system provides in the UK? That after 11 years of compulsory education, 15% are still functionally illiterate? [UNICEF Report PDF] Gosh, what a generous man you are.
You piece of shit, Brown; you and your venal, bastard socialist cronies have comprehensively buggered up the British schools, reduced exam results to a fucking joke and have ruined the lives and potential of millions of British children and now you want to do the same to the poor, bloody Africans.
For fuck's sake, it's true that their lot is bad enough and that their rulers are stupid and corrupt, but they need real help, Gordo, not you going over there to teach their fucking tinpot dictators how to further control, brainwash and intimidate their people. Can't you imagine the headlines: "Brown reaches Nigeria: the country's international figures for corruption and ineptitude double instantaneously."
It will have to be education free of charge. Because we know that when Kenya made education free of charge one million children appeared from nowhere to enrol for school — and it was only when, in Tanzania and Uganda, aid and debt relief made universal free education affordable that the schools numbers doubled.
Er... Well, sort of, Gordo. No, actually, that's crap.
Moreover, in Kenya we were able to observe the impact of free primary education on enrollment. Despite the fact that huge increases in enrollment have been noted in government schools by commentators, our research suggests that, at best, children appear to have transferred from private to government schools. Given the advantages of private schools and problems found in government schools, that may not be to their advantage.
Free education for all is not an impossible dream.
In that case, could you not at least start here in Britain? It is our taxes that you spend so freely after all.
Let's face it, you bloated turd, you have doubled education spending since 1997 and nothing has got better (apart from the teachers' salaries and pensions): education standards are lower than they were before you and NuLabour were elected, for fuck's sake. When will you realise that you couldn't manage your way out of a paper fucking bag, you cunt.
The average cost of educating a child in Africa is $100 a year, only $2 a week. To educate all 80 million children who do not currently go to school would cost just $10 billion a year — that is 2p per day for every person in the richest nations.
$100 a year? £50.65 (as of today's rate) per annum? That's really extraordinary, becuase it costs a fuck sight more than that to
If there no limit to Brown's ambition? Having screwed up our country, the fucking turd is attempting to apply his outdated values, insane micromanagement and special brand of puritanism to the Developing World. For fuck's sake...
No other investment could be so cost-effective.
I'm glad to see "could" inserted there, Gordo: jarrs a bit though, doesn't it?
Now, off the top of my head (I'd be grateful if anyone could find a link), in 2004, aid to Africa from all countries totalled £64 billion. Debt repayments were £10 billion, so there is a simple question to be asked here: where did the other £54 billion go? How much went into education and how much went into weapons, car fleets and Swiss bank accounts. (Not that I'm suggesting that all African leaders are corrupt demagogues whose only interest is lining their pockets as quickly as they can before they get ousted—just most of them.)
And as children enrol, ambitions like the plans of Nicholas Negroponte — now backed by six big international companies — to provide cheap laptops for children in the poorest countries, can be implemented, giving them the chance to learn about and communicate with the world in ways we take for granted.
Laptops are immensely helpful: of course they are. But I can't help thinking that a relaibel electricity supply might also be a good thing. After all, it's so much more versatile than a laptop with an imminently dead battery.
More than that: education is the essential foundation on which all further progress depends.
You're right, Gordo, it is: so how about sorting our education system about before you turn your baleful gaze in the rest of the world, you cunt.
Education is essential to the economic development of the poorest countries...
It's pretty damn essential to this country too, you lackwit bastard.
... the key to an inclusive globalisation; and the route by which billions of the world’s citizens can rise above a subsistence wage, becoming consumers and contributors to local and national economies.
Of course, not hobbling them with restrictive quotas and protectionist tariffs is another good way. So can we leave the EU yet?
A few centuries ago the issue was what we could do to Africa, then last century it was what we could do for Africa. This century the issue is what Africa can be empowered to do for itself.
Well, we could try, y'know, encouraging people to buy their products by removing the big, fat EU surcharges on them. That'd be a start, don't you think?
At Gleneagles today, Kofi Annan...
Useless, corrupt bastard...
Useless, shifty bastard...
Power-hungry, avaricious, cheating, money-grubbing, meglomaniac, useless bastard...
... will meet faith groups and charities to reflect on the 20 months since the commitments made there in 2005 by Tony Blair and other G8 leaders: months of progress in some areas, and disappointment in others.
What the fuck are you meeting faith groups for? I thought that you were against them getting involved in teaching. You kind of said that above in your comment about madrassas, didn't you? Or are some faith groups OK?
Debt relief has been delivered to 22 countries and potentially up to £170 billion of debt relief is available. But we still have more to do — most immediately for Liberia, and then for dozens more countries to whom Britain will unilaterally offer debt relief.
Are they in debt to us? If not, are we just going to pay it off for them? In which case, why dress it up? Come on, Gordo, just say it: I am going to give tens of millions of pounds that I have extracted from the hard-working people of Britain, and give it to the corrupt, profligate leaders of the Developing World, just to show them that they can borrow money without consequence.
Since 2005 Britain too has maintained its pledges to increase aid for health and education, and at Gleneagles today we will call on other countries not to relax their efforts or to retreat from their pledges, but to honour their promises too.
Oh, goody. It's nice to know that you've wrecked our pensions, against all advice, in a noble cause. God, I hate you.
And while the G8 acknowledged the injustice of the current system of world trade, its inequalities still continue.
So, remind me: when are we going to dismantle the EU and trade freely with the rest of the world?
Look, you one-eyed bastard, the US offered to drop all agricultural subsidies if the EU did and guess what happened?
So in the next few weeks we must move the resumed world trade talks forward and put in place the resources for infrastructure that will enable the poorest countries to benefit from trade.
Aaaaaaaargh! The only fair trade is free trade, you cunt! Demolish the EU—NOW!
We must deliver urgently on the 2005 Gleneagles commitments because they are both the right thing to do and because it is a new geopolitical imperative that across security, trade, environment, health and education we recognise our essential interdependence.
Gordon, I don't know if this has escaped your notice but we don't actually control our trade or environmental policy: the EU does. And it controls large chunks of the other policy areas too.
What's the fucking point of you getting together with your G8 pals, stuffing your face with fancy meat and fancier puddings, when you are unable to offer or receive any kind of trade concessions? For fuck's sake, man; talk about an exercise in futility.
If we succeed in our education goals, it will be said of our generation that we were the first in history to ensure schooling for every child. If we do not, then years from now, people will rightly look back at us and ask why we commemorated the end of the slave trade in the 19th century and yet tolerated forced child labour and illiteracy in the 21st century.
I don't know about forced child labour, Gordo, but you are right about the illiteracy bit. So how come 15% of the people leaving British schools are illiterate, Gordon?
The Make Poverty History movement in 2005 taught us anew what the antislavery movement taught us 200 years ago: that the great movements for change do not happen by accident or chance. They are founded not on the shifting sands of self-interest but on the rock of social justice, and the insistent and irresistible demand for that justice.
No, what the Make Poverty History movement taught us is that most people haven't got a fucking clue about long-lasting growth; it was all about lobbing yet more aid to Africa, stifling those countries' economies by enforcing and maintaining nationalised industries and protectionism. Whilst a noble idea, Make Poverty History's methods were precisely opposite to the ones that should be employed. They, like you, were a bunch of economically illiterate fuckwits although, unlike you, they meant well.
In 1807 a combination of social compassion and moral outrage ended the British involvement in the slave trade. Today that same compassion and outrage must inspire us to tackle the great wrongs of our time and to give every child in the world a better chance — freed from poverty and liberated by education.
Good idea, Gordon: I'm not sure, however, that you're methods are going to work frankly. As the Cato Institute report points out, free schooling is not always the best schooling.
In each location, the private schools are run largely by proprietors, with very few receiving outside philanthropic support and none receiving state funding. Roughly equal numbers of boys and girls attend private unaided schools, which have better pupil-teacher ratios, higher teacher commitment, and sometimes better facilities than government schools. A significant number of places in private unaided schools are provided free or at reduced rates to serve the poorest of the poor.
The raw scores from our student achievement tests show considerably higher achievement in the private than in government schools. In Hyderabad, for instance, mean scores in mathematics were about 22 percentage points and 23 percentage points higher in private unrecognized and recognized schools, respectively, than in government schools. The advantage was even more pronounced for English. In all cases, this achievement advantage was obtained at between half and a quarter of the teacher salary costs.
But then, you live in Britain: you know that, don't you? So, when are we going to privatise all schools and fund them through vouchers then, you utter, utter bastard.
Fuck you, Brown: fuck you till you bleed to death.