Wednesday, April 04, 2007

A Brit invites a US Thinktank to "go fuck themselves"

Yes, that's right: for some unknown reason, a fucking numpty bunch of retard fuckheads called "Evil Empire Press" have decided to start spamming me with their fucking shite campaign. The latest one reads as follows:
Philadelphia, PA – April 4, 2007 –American's...

Really? Not just "Americans"? In the name of all that's fucking unholy, learn how to use an apostrophe.
...are coming together to support the International Coalition for British Reparations by wearing the symbol of oppression -THE BRITISH REPARATIONS BRACLET!

Please see the attached document for all of the information.

No thanks.
If this doesn't motivate you to sign on to make a difference in our workaday world, then you clearly have no soul. Visit us at www.britishreparations.org to sign the petition and learn more about this worthy cause.

I'm sorry, you bunch of Philadelphia fucks, how is this a worthy and, more importantly, justified cause? Are you going to start paying reparations to slaves now?
Find out all the truths about the British in "The Evil Empire: 101 Ways That England Ruined The World," in bookstores and online April 23rd, 2007. Visit www.evilempirebook.com for a sneak preview, press and enhanced features.

Find out "the truth"? According to whom, precisely?
About The International Coalition for British Reparations
The International Coalition for British Reparations (ICBR) is a thinktank of British foreign policy headquartered in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, the city where America's split with Britain began in 1776. Founded on July 4, 2006, we have members all over the world.

Yeah, mainly in Broadmoor.

The aim of BritishReparations.org is pretty clearly stated on the strapline to their website:
"People of the world, it's time to get paid!"

Perhaps you'd like to sign their petition which states the following:
We, the undersigned citizens of the world, demand reparations payments of £31,960,000,000,000 from the British Monarchy and government of the United Kingdom. This money will compensate us for the profound injuries we have suffered over the last 500 years from British brutality, negligence, malevolence, crimes against humanity, and other heinous and atrocious forms of misrule. It is far from enough to make us whole, but a necessary first step in the long process of British coming to terms with its historical guilty and reconciling itself with global opinion and international law.

Erm, here's what to do with your petition: stick it up your US arseholes. And, to paraphrase a film, I'm just a Brit standing in front of a massive, military nation with more than its own fair share of fucking things up, asking them to go fuck themselves.

14 comments:

rightwingprof said...

It looks from the error types that this wasn't written by a native English speaker, British or American. The thing that caught my eye was the blatant anti-British statements. Believe it or not, you just don't see or hear that over here. Philadelphia (I live in Pennsylvania), by the way, is one of the few places left in the US with a healthy violent race war faction (MOVE). It wouldn't surprise me if they had something to do with this.

Anonymous said...

"It wouldn't surprise me if they had something to do with this."

Or.....it could just be a spoof site.

Any indication this is a real movement, and that it's serious?

Anonymous said...

"It is far from enough to make us whole, but a necessary first step in the long process of British coming to terms with its historical guilty and reconciling itself with global opinion and international law."

Fuck these assholes. I'm from the US and if you can believe this, they are pulling this shit with their own country and the poor, misunderstood terrorist nations.

Reconciling the historical guilty abnd reconciling itself with global opinion and international law? Those fucktards don't even know their own Constitution.

Great site.

JuliaM said...

That 'anon' was me, hit the wrong key, damn it.

'John R''s comment in the other comment box is pretty amusing, btw...

Jackart said...

This has to ba a joke doesn't it. Can we sue for defamation? Perhaps get the ACLU to foot the bill, after all this whole thing is racist....

Surreptitious Evil said...

This smells awfully to me like some sort of viral marketing bullshit. The "evilempirepress" site is really quite slick to be the work of a crank (though the London silhouette misses out St Paul's?), the "britishreparations" site less so but still okay-ish.

Both domains are registered to "Gyroworldwide", thought they clearly got an illiterate intern to register the reparations site:

Registrant Name:Carrie Carnegie
Registrant Organization:Gyro Worlwide (sic) Advertising

Oh, look at this: http://gyroworldwide.com/gyro.htm

Gyro. Breakin' the Rules since '88

Since 1988, GYRO has developed innovative branding programs for a select group of discerning international companies.

What these companies all share is a sense of adventure, a disregard for the status quo and an understanding that traditional mass market advertising is only ever part of the picture.


Cunts, utter fucking colonial cretinous vermin, the whole shitbag collection of fuckwits. Being lowered slowly into a vat of boiling water is too fucking good for them.

S-E

Neal Asher said...

I rather suspect it's a 'let's drum up publicity for this book' site.

David Farrer said...

I note that all of the e-mails I get from these people conflate "England" with "Britain". And their spokesperson goes by the good Scottish name of Carnegie! Don't they have one of his libraries in Philadelphia?

Gordian12 said...

Yeah, has anyone read enough about this to find out if it's a spoof? It seems too far beyond the pale to be serious, unless the author is _really_ off his rocker.

Mr Eugenides said...

I've been getting these emails for a few weeks now as well.

There's just enough stuff going on for it to smell like a spoof, or more like a viral marketing site. Witness the slogan on the latest offering:

"WORRIED ABOUT GLOBAL WARMING?

Buy a Bracelet!

CONCERNED ABOUT WAR IN THE MIDDLE EAST?

Buy a Bracelet!

Everyone who wears the bracelet is saying NO TO 500 YEARS OF BRITISH OPPRESSION AND GLOBAL MISRULE. Those who buy the bracelet will be put at the head of the line to receive their reparations check from the British Government. So, an investment of $2, will net you $8350! Not a bad return"

Yeah, it's a marketing ploy.

The Nameless One said...

This is a brilliant idea! Think of the ramifications! If people can sue Britain for the British Empire, then we can sue other countries for their negative actions against Britiain! We can sue Germany for two World Wars, we can have a pop at France for the Napoleonic war and 1066. And, with celtic blood coursing through my veins, I'm planning to demand reparations from Italy for the Roman Empire!

More seriously, it really looks like a wind-up.

Vicola said...

Ah, more mindless shite from a gobshite twat who still can't work out that 'British' is not exactly the same thing as 'English'. There should be some sort of internet code that says that if you are a complete pillock then you shouldn't be allowed to post your bigoted drivel online, taking up space that could be used for something more useful like porn or funny pictures of the royal family getting pissed in clubs. It's very tempting to go on their website and leave them a message telling them exactly what I think. And demanding £450 000 000 000 000 000 compensation for them not joining WW2 earlier, dragging us into Iraq and Afghanistan, allowing Mel Gibson to make 'The Patriot' and 'Braveheart' despite the fact that they had less factually correct content than Thomas the Tank Engine and for inflicting 'Friends' on us for all eternity. I realise that most Americans are lovely, normal intelligent people so they really need to be doing something about the fact that the only people who seem to make it to the public attention over here are redneck inbred hillbilly prats. It isn't doing their internationl reputation any good at all.

beavis said...

yeah, well, whatever.

i think its way kewl so i'm signing the petition.

and you know we had to save your asses in ww2 dont you?

The Banker said...

I just fininshed watching the flash trailer for the 'Evil Empire' book and I must say...

...makes me *proud* to be British, eh, what?

(apart from the Elton John bit that is)