Thursday, March 22, 2007

Carnival of the Batshit #1

Wee Batshit has been mildly distressed about the scurrilous lies told about his blog costs, so he's here to set the record straight.
Contrary to the repeated falsehood that this blog costs £40,000, here are the facts.

Facts? From a Nulabour minister? Is that the sound of hell freezing over?
The initial start up cost of the blog at ODPM was £6,000.

Why? If Batshit had used Blogger, the cost would have been: £0.00p.

If he had used a standard WordPress configuration, the cost would have been: £0.00p.

In less than five hours this afternoon, I set up and styled an entire ten page website—a site that included an image gallery, the conversion of a 30MB Quicktime show reel to a Flash movie, a small amount of copywriting and a fucking blog.

Where, precisely, did that £6,000 go? I mean, I would love to be paid £6,000 for five hours' work—or, rather, £9,600 per day—but, alas, that is just dream money to your humble Devil (who charges about £350–£400 per day should anyone be looking for a designer*. Hem hem).

Were the design company using gold-plated fucking keyboards or something?
The changeover to Defra cost £1,250...

Why? To change the domain name and top banner? To clone and transfer the database would take no more than 3 hours; to change the top banner (to the client's satisfaction) might take 2 hours. You know, I would even love to be paid £1,250 for 5 hours' work—or £2,000 per day—but, alas, I am not.

Obviously I should be bidding for more government contracts.
... and ongoing technical costs amount to £900 pa.

For what? Renewing the domain name? That can't be, as the government owns them all, but let's assume that the .gov.uk name costs the same as a .com name: that's £8.99 per year.

Ah, you say, but what about server traffic? Well, I am currently renting an entire dedicated server of 70GB with near-unlimited bandwidth for about £600 per year**. And let's face it, with the amount of hits that Batshit's blog gets, it is unlikely to need an entire dedicated server, is it?

But, leaving that aside, I make that a maximum of £608.99 plus—what?—two hours' work a year? Fuck! £180 per hour? It's not as much as might be expected from the previous figures but it's not bad; and, as I say, it is unlikely, in reality, that Batshit's hosting costs any more than £5 per month. Which would mean that the designers are actually trousering more like £415 per hour: nice work if you can convince someone really stupid that this is good value if you can get it.
Since I write my own blogs, read comments, and don't have a shadow blogger the admin costs are low: one valiant official spends part of his time posting blogs and comments.

Erm... Why don't you post the blogs yourself, David? Can it be that our dynamic young minister is too stupid, too ignorant and too lazy to do so? As we bloggers will know, it is writing the posts that take up your time—and, of course, our money. But that's OK, because I think that government officials should blog; although I would hope that they would do a better job than you, Davey—and not the posting of them (which takes mere seconds).

Or could it be that you need to know code to post to your blog system and that it is, despite that £6,000 set-up fee, not fit for purpose?
It is estimated that this takes around 10 hours per month at an estimated cost of £300.

Ten hours per month? Are you taking the piss?

So far this month, you have posted 10 times. In February, you posted 12 times. In January, you posted 14 times. And that is taking your official ten fucking hours a month?

And those 10 hours a month are costing £300—£30 per hour? That's a little more reasonable than the design fees, Davey; although it does mean that your official must be raking in something of the order of £62,400 per year (assuming a 40 hour week) which is not a bad screw by anyone's standards.

But all of this still means that your blog is costing £4,500 per year; of which £3,600 is the apparent cost of your official's posting duties: posting duties which are entirely superfluous.

Thank you for putting the record straight, Davey-Boy. I hope that my little breakdown of how your Simple Shopper government is being fleeced, yet again, has proved instructive to you too.



Via Burning Our Money.


* Very nice, very cheap. I throw my sister in for dollar, yes?

** I'm selling server space, fully equipped with a mySQL database and FTP access, if anyone wants to host a website: just email your humble Devil for details...

1 comment:

archduke said...

jesus h christ - i'm in the wrong job.

how does one bid for government blogging contracts??